The Official Simms Uni Thread part II

I tell them I find women quite terrible and hard to understand. Then I hope for the best

 

I've definitely gone for the 'I'm a Virgin' tactic... "Do you want to be my first?".

Tried, tested, didn't work.

 

"We've probably banged already IMHO" always works.

 

Ah yes, a bit of misrepresentation (effectively fraud - loss and gain).

"I'm a pilot".

 

bom dia gatinha! estou um gringo! me compra uma cerveja!

 

Haha often works out like that, was at a student night when some friends encouraged me to try and pull this random scouse girl, only using a fake dodgy scouse accent. Nearly a year later and i'm still with that very girl.

 

Have you kept up the scouse accent for the entire relationship?

 

Haha, it didn't even work on the night, she found it bizarre and walked away. Happened to bump into eachother again and my apology proved the conversation starter which led to the relationship!

 

Is she pretty?

 

She's a scouser.

 

What Moog said.

 

[video=youtube;Gzb7BanTuXw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gzb7BanTuXw[/video]

 

https://vine.co/v/MiUIW0r270x

 

I dare ask this out of horror, but with being securely in the friend zone, I've shaken the foundations by talking to said bird recently, any suggestions whilst drunk as to what I could do? Sounds as bad as Simms but I'm alright until it comes to friend zoning.

 

Engineer a situation in which you, her and a couple go for drinks. Not a brand new cuddly type of couple, preferably good friends who have been together for a while with some some good bantz. Keep the drinking going into the night and eventually the couple will leave because couples never last the distance on a boozy night out because they either argue or want to get home and enjoy each others company.

This can be played in two ways;

- 'Hey, why don't we keep drinking? Show those boring sods what they're missing!'

or

- 'Shall we just get a cab back?' Get in the cab with her, making sure to stop at hers first. Suggest you get a bit of brekky and hang out the next morning.

Break down the walls, be a mate, but with a caring nature that says 'Hey, PozzMan is the man for you baby.'

 

She's now pissed off with me for checking she's okay while she cools off while me and the #ladz are in the casino.

 

This is the correct way to go about your business.

She'll now be wanting you/it more. The foundations are all there for you to trick her into sex.

 

You won't follow this advice (I didn't either), but move on.

I was in the friend-zone for years and tried every trick in the book, nothing worked out - I got as close as being asked to wait for her whilst she sorts herself out. Mates told me constantly I was wasting my time, I ignored them. Turns out they were right. You'll meet better people afterwards.

However, if you do ignore my advice then good luck! You might be more successful than me!

 

Many years ago I thought I could get my end away with a cheeky little thing so during lunch I went to hers and whilst she was cooking us cheesy beans on toast I walked out the downstairs bathroom totally starkers, before giving it the "***** me!" line. To my embarrassment she pretty much just looked with horror and screamed at me to get some clothes on. I read the situation terribly.

It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't go tell the headmaster and I was put in 'isolation' for a week as I couldn't be trusted. My Mum also got a call about my behaviour.

As always was the case, the entire school found out and even to this day it gets brought up in conversation.

In my defence, these days you can text girls or get them to get their growler out on a webcam with little difficulty. Back when I was 15 we didn't have this technology to use in the way we do nowadays. In other words, I had no choice to use shock and awe tactics.

Relating this to the above advice - do it.

 

I hear people talk a lot about 'friend zones' and I have no frame of reference for it. It sounds a lot like socially awkward people trying to attach an acceptable term (we're friends really! It's in the name!) to some weird/almost pathetic obsession with someone who clearly finds you revolting.

 

Not true. I met my missus at uni (Portsmouth, if you didn't know). We were on the same course and throughout we were in the same circle of friends, but for over a year we never battered an eyelid at each other. Then something just clicked and I've never looked back. We met as course mates, we then became bigger mates, we then became mates where it wasn't strange going out just on our own, or having a film night etc, then suddenly we spent the summer away from everyone and it appeared we missed each other. And it snowballed from there really.

In short, just because you're friends at any one point it doesn't mean that can't develop further.

 

there is a difference between being genuinely being mates though and pretending to be mates with someone who has already stated nothing is going to happen

 

So if my missus said firmly five or so years ago that we'd never be an item only then would I have a point relevant to this discussion?

 

People actually makes friends with members of the opposite sex that they don't want to have intimate relations with? Why?

 

well, yeah?

 

But out of our circle of friends there was a 12/8 ratio in favour of girls. Law of averages say I was gonna pork one of them.

My point is to get friend zoned by as many as you can. Eventually, one will want a piece when you least expect it.

 

Every girl gets desperate at some point. Being in sight is crucial.

 

Some of my best mates are girls?! I've never seen a problem with having girl buddies.

I've shared beds with most of them and at no point did either of us fear of attacking each other, if you get what I mean.

 

Gay best friend.

 

Obviously not. But it's pretty sad if you think boys and girls can't be friends.