The Official Simms Uni Thread part II

Yes.

 

I have, he's a nice guy.

He also had an excellent beard.

 

He didn't have a beard yesterday.

 

If Simms walks in tomorrow with a blonde bit attached to each arm I'll be annoyed...

 

I met a guy at breakfast yesterday with two blonde girls on each arm. He was Argentinian and I was drunk so I couldn't understand him, but the girls were prostitutes and reasonably happy they were being paid to eat a nutritious meal. So simms, learn from that

 

I think we can all learn from that.

 

You're missing out, it was a wonder to behold.

 

That man is an idiot.

 

breakfastLAD

 

I hire prostitutes so I have people to play golf with in winter.

 

Whoever mentioned the tinder idea thumbs up. Been talking to two girls on it but the first one i added to facebook, and her pictures were deceptive to say the least. How does one stop talking to her without it seeming like you've just seen how fat they really are on facebook and hit the ejector seat? The other one is attractive but I went to add her on facebook and she was friends with the first one! What if the one i phase out talking to talks to her about it? At least the awkward situation is better than not having the situation and using the app at all.

 

Agreed. Simms, don't think about standards at this stage - your own expectations will grow once you've poked a fatty.

Plus, it's not all bad, I hear they try harder because they know they're SOOO FAAATTTT!!!!!

 

I'll have you know that I'm on Tinder and wouldn't consider myself desperate. Then again, I'm one of those winkers who just swipes right for the eye candy but never replies to messages.

To answer this, I'd suggest not even adding her on Facebook. The best thing about Tinder is that it's incredibly casual - Facebook is for staying in contact, Tinder is for establishing it. Don't add them on Facebook until you've met them for a drink or something (and even then wait a little bit first), else you'll end up befriending them before you ever meet them and you'll go for a drink as friends rather than as 'someone you met on Tinder'.

Choose to take this advice or not but I've only given a couple of pieces of advice in this thread and they've both been right in the end.

 

"facebook friends" doesn't mean friends. If they are bffs, go for a threesome, aim high.

 

Be careful though, one may eat the other.

 

Others seem to perpetuate that, ive said a few times im not as desperate as some on here think I am. Also it's more the deception and the fact you can't really choose who you find attractive.

Ok i'll bear that in mind for future. Thanks.

 

Sicko.

 

Simms, you can always ask to paint them naked and I'll send you the painting to fraudulently claim is yours.

 

Sounds like he will need a big brush though.

 

Just go straight to WhatsApp and skip Facebook. As for the fatty, there is a block button for a reason.

 

You can be friends with acquaintances, sometimes they are people you were loose frieds with for a brief time, but don't talk to anymore.

 

just tell her she's not your type and move on. it really is as simple as that folks.

 

In other news, simms left before I had the chance to get him on the sambuca

 

We're you in the central bar by the window???

 

And reinforce that bed!

 

I don't get Tinder - I've had 40 or so matches, however, very few reply and when they do the conversation is about as interesting as chatting up a nun.

 

I've been banging nuns like it's going out of fashion since I got onto Tinder. They're all reticent over chat, but they'd suck a golfball up a hosepipe

 

Women are nuts, that's why.

 

Wise words

 

From recent experience I can tell you categorically that woman, generally, are terrible.

 

Out of interest, what is everyone's technique for approaching women? And what do you say to girls on Tinder when it's so obvious that you're speaking to her with the intention of shagging her and little else?

Chat up lines?
Compliments?
Developing a deep and meaningful connection?

I've been with someone for over three years now after using a pathetic chat up line which I thought would only guarantee one night of fun.

 

Straight in with the David Brent lines!

"And your breath stinks of onions and I didn't tell you that either"