Apparently, this guy has flown in from Iceland and is angrily protesting at the wages we're offering. Reykjavik? Not quite but he's thrown a couple of cups at London colney.
I just had to change trains at one of South London's busiest stations Clapham? Well, I appreciated the driver's work, but applause would have been a bit much.
I’ve been called to North Devon to help repair some wind damaged farm buildings. Barnstaple? No, they don’t make them big enough.
I went out with a girl from the Northwest who was into powerlifting. Manchester? Yeah it was flat, hairy and muscular.
I went on a boating holiday with my parents in France Marseilles? No, pa does most of that, she was mostly navigating.
I was in Devon recently and I was amazed to see a 90 year old woman cross a heavily flooded road. Bideford? You bet she did.
Took the cast from “Only Fools and Horses” on a jolly to Spain, but was angered by how much the bar bill came to. Costa Del Sol? No , Rodney was on champagne cocktails.
I showed this thread of repetitive jokes to some relatives living in a commuter town just east of Watford. Borehamwood? I believe the phrase is more commonly 'stiff', but close enough.
I got some bootleg copies of Tv gardening programs fro South America Montevideo? No Charlie Dimmock on DVD
I just ran a few errands in a suburb at the end of the Northern Line. New Barnet? Yes, thanks for noticing.
Year before I had to take them to the US eastern sea board and found out Nicholas Lyndhurst was having an affair with David Jason’s wife . Delaware ? No , I didn’t have the heart to tell him .
I was just near there, pouring Australian beer into a private orifice Cockfosters? No castlemaine up my bumhole.
I stayed the night with a girl in a slightly dodgy part of North London recently and am worried I may have caught something. Wood Green? Thankfully not, but it is rather itchy.
Went to a game in North London and was excessively strip searched in my groin area. Arsenal? No I kept it clenched .
Went with the Watford midfield to a cinema in West London but got limited view seats . Chelsea? Yeah , but Hughes was sat in front of a pillar .
Boy did I sleep badly the other night in Poland. I tossed and turned all night, thinking of the lovely receptionist at the hotel. Krakow? No, I didn’t have the puff.
