You're Not Alone

Discussion in 'The Hornets' Nest - Watford Chat' started by tonycotonstache, Dec 24, 2020.

  1. Filbert2

    Filbert2 Academy Graduate

    Hope you’ve all had a merry christmas, lots of love from the real HMS Piss the League xxx
  2. Humpty Wazzok

    Humpty Wazzok Academy Graduate

    I had EMDR, as you say it is very powerful and effective, really helped with my PTSD. I think you need a therapist/counsellor you really trust, and (based on my w xperience) be led into EMDR gradually as it can be so powerful. Happy to chat about it by PM if anyone wants to know more.
    Smudger likes this.
  3. 3000

    3000 Reservist

    I am currently reading an interesting book called "The Body Keeps The Score" about trauma and how it impacts us. There is a whole passage on the wonders of EMDR and how effective it is on patients who did not respond to other techniques previously.
  4. Humpty Wazzok

    Humpty Wazzok Academy Graduate

    That looks interesting, I’ll check it out. Thanks
  5. Steel City Gold

    Steel City Gold Reservist

  6. Steel City Gold

    Steel City Gold Reservist

    A couple of thoughts tonight...

    My poorly-edited post above was an update on my friend Phil, sadly no longer with us. Please check out the music played.

    More pertinently, New Year's Eve is so often absolutely rubbish for people who have had a shyte year.

    But it's just one night...

    In the morning, we go again!!! Because we can; we're still here!!!

    Keep the Faith

  7. Supertommymooney

    Supertommymooney Squad Player

    You're doing it all wrong!
  8. Hornets81

    Hornets81 Academy Graduate

    Happy New Year everyone - here's to a year that's better both on, and more importantly, off the the pitch
  9. The Voice of Reason

    The Voice of Reason First Team Captain

    HappyHornet24, Smudger and SkylaRose like this.
  10. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Sister went back into hospital last night for her mental health. Voluntary 72 hours but is allowed visitors. Had quite a bad episode but overall she just needs a bit more care than we can give her right now. She knows I post on here so it doesn't bother her if I discuss it with a great community.
  11. tonycotonstache

    tonycotonstache Squad Player

    Sorry to hear Skyla.
    wfc4ever and SkylaRose like this.
  12. Teide1

    Teide1 Squad Player

    Sorry to hear that Skyla, our thoughts are with you and your Sister, hopefully 2024 will be an upturn in your family’s fortunes!
  13. wfcwarehouse

    wfcwarehouse First Team Captain

    RIP Phil - lovely you got to meet up for a few drinks before the end, hope you can treasure the memory.

    Hope your, your family and most importantly your sister are ok Skyla. Thoughts with you all.
  14. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    It's good that she recognised that she needs help. Far too many people can't or won't do that.
  15. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Thanks for the kind messages guys, really appreciate it. Saw her today she's doing as good as can be expected but a lot calmer which is progress. Not the first (or last time) this will happen, but I am there for her as is the rest of the family and her close friends. Thank you again xx.
  16. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    Been meaning to post this banger in here for a while
    HappyHornet24 likes this.
  17. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Another reason why the 1990s was one of the best decades ever, especially for music and video games. Better than all the rap crap we got in the 2000s. Each to their own of course in tastes of music but I still really like "Save the Best for Last" by Vanessa Williams. Still to this day, imho, one of the best ballads ever written and performed.
    hornmeister likes this.
  18. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    It was their only real hit afaik but their album "Extra Virgin" is excellent have a mix of soem more laid back stuff as well. Worth a fiver 2nd hand,aps,160&sr=8-1

    Dammit just seen they did another album "Trickle" going to have to purchase that.
    SkylaRose likes this.
  19. Keighley

    Keighley First Team

  20. hornmeister

    hornmeister Tired

    That was Eric Morcombe in drag wasn't it?
  21. Steel City Gold

    Steel City Gold Reservist

    Hi Skyla

    I'm the eldest of 8, and so very protective of all my siblings, even though they're all grown ups. One of my worst moments ever was travelling back down home to see my sister, who had had to be sectioned for a period of time. I was utterly heartbroken when I went to visit her; I felt so inadequate and helpless as her big brother.

    But she broke free from the Black Dog, and for many, many years now has been in a much happier place, with only the occasional 'blip'.

    Hope this helps in some small way...

    SCG xx
  22. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Thank you SCG that was very touching.

    I am glad your sister is doing much better and of course she always has you, rest of the family and friends for support. All we can do for a person we love is be there for them - as much as that is possible dependant on the circumstances. I am certain your sister knows how much you helped her (even just being there is an act of caring) and never feel like you are powerless, because the one thing you have that no medical professional can give, is love and compassion. Xxx
    Smudger and tonycotonstache like this.
  23. Steel City Gold

    Steel City Gold Reservist

    Goodness me

    Heartbreaking to think of what the family, friends and colleagues of Daniel are going through.

    BWL to the QPR fans for supporting the applause on Sunday.

    Please reach out to someone, anyone, if you are struggling to cope.

    Probably, most of us have struggled to cope at some stage in our lives. I know I have, more than once. It's a very lonely, dark place to find yourself in. And sometimes it appears incomprehensible to those that know you, or feels that way if you're struggling.

    But we so very often don't know that you're struggling, sadly, however close we are to you.

    So tell us.

    SCG xx
  24. tonycotonstache

    tonycotonstache Squad Player

    Been a nightmare start to the year for me. Have had to rip up an entire bedroom due to flooding. Draining in driveway needed redoing as it had been a botch job from the previous owners. Bloody gas suppliers picked this week to start digging up our entire road and cut our gas off twice when it's been freezing for repairs too!


    I'm more resilient from reaching out to mates. Something I didn't do much before. Talking helps and SCG is spot on with saying reach out to anyone if you feel at breaking point.

    My DMs always open for such a thing.

    So glad this thread is still going!
    SkylaRose, Vic, HappyHornet24 and 9 others like this.
  25. BC Hornet

    BC Hornet Academy Graduate

    Can't agree more tonycoton. I so respect the fact this thread has been created. As per previous posters, it is so important to open up and talk, but often with family it is difficult, even with national helplines it can feel daunting. There is a smaller group here that will offer support. I think when you get involved with a club you feel part of a community, I know we pioneered this in the EJ/GT days and it goes on!
    Smudger, Pozzo Out, SkylaRose and 5 others like this.
  26. wfcwarehouse

    wfcwarehouse First Team Captain

    Agree with both of the posts above - speaks volumes that this post is still going strong and people have been able to share their stories without ridicule.

    I won’t forget how kind and supportive people were here when I needed it.

    Once again, a big thank you to the moderation team for creating such a safe and welcoming environment (most of the time ;))
    Smudger, Jersey Hornet72, Vic and 2 others like this.
  27. BC Hornet

    BC Hornet Academy Graduate

    Smudger, SkylaRose and Vic like this.
  28. Vic

    Vic First Year Pro

    Thanks for posting this. I don’t live anywhere near Stourbridge but if I did I’d be at that place in a shot. Last line sounds encouraging:
    “Dr Barney also hopes to make the Spartannn brand a nationwide chain of Brain Gyms across the UK.”
    SkylaRose likes this.
  29. Klein Lust

    Klein Lust Uber Keine

    Wow, I’ve been where your sister’s been, major gratitude to you Skyla. I don’t want to moan on here about my mental issues, my ultra kind family and some sweet friends are angels. Being sectioned myself more than once over the years was what was needed at the time, plus a little ECT, gratitude to the NHS too. Hope your sister is safe.

    Sad/Crazy/Happy songs probably helps my mind be secure, like this one, bit weird maybe, but can change my mood in a positive way.

    HappyHornet24, Vic and SkylaRose like this.
  30. Heidar

    Heidar Squad Player

    I'm coming to the light at the end of a pretty dark 4-year long tunnel and a few things I've noted from my experience:

    1) Working out and accepting who you are, which is great.
    2) You are surprised at which people become your support network - you won't believe what people are capable of. I've experienced the worst side of humanity, but from it I've seen the very best.
    3) Have the difficult conversations, you just have to or you can't move forward
    4) You see your parents and family as people with hopes, desires and ambitions just like you and not just "mum and dad"
    5) You can't fully get over it - there is always going to be that half-happiness but it's about embracing it. When you lose something important, it's disingenuous to simply try to forget.
    6) The happy side feels genuine

    Keep on going. The tide will change. Have a conversation.
  31. wfcwarehouse

    wfcwarehouse First Team Captain

    Excellent post and really good advice.

    Glad things are looking up for you, H.
  32. Hussar

    Hussar Academy Graduate

    For info and help - These groups were flagged on my linked-in feed
    Apologies if previously linked but i hadn’t heard of them before
    Smudger likes this.
  33. tonycotonstache

    tonycotonstache Squad Player


    Rickmansworth Thursday walks are a growing group. Other routes as listed.
  34. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    The increased public discourse on this is not only helping people but also revealing just how many suffer from varying degrees of mental health issues . It really is the silent epidemic .

    When I was growing up there was no support and you had to just push it away and pretend it didn’t exist because it was seen as a sign of weakness .

    Took me 20 years of therapy to sort all that stuff out .
  35. tonycotonstache

    tonycotonstache Squad Player

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