Werewolf XVI: Day 1

Discussion in 'Old Games' started by 352, Jun 1, 2015.

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  1. 352

    352 Moderator

    Apologies for the late start. I would love to have a good excuse, but I don't.

    It won't be like this without notice again.


    The fog hung over yesterday’s morning. Summertime had almost arrived, but it didn’t feel like May. The village had seen its hard times in the past, and was reliving its most recent tragedy in the local paper. Abso was publishing the diaries of one of the wolves that tore through the community this time last year, in a serialised piece in the local paper, the Cassiobury Chronicle:

    “…I wait until he’s seen my teeth glint in the moonlight, wait until he’s seen the full length of the nail gun in my gloved hands. He screams.

    “Perhaps in instinct, perhaps from memory, nisman94 makes a futile dash for the front door, crying out. Though the chardonnay has dulled his reflexes, the Scotch I’ve drunk has sharpened mine, and effortlessly I’m leaping in front of him, blocking his escape, knocking him unconscious with four blows to the head from the nail gun. I drag him back into the living room, laying him across the floor over a white Voilacutro cotton sheet, and then I stretch his arms out, placing his hands flat on thick wooden boards, palms up, and nail three fingers on each hand, at random, to the wood by their tips. This causes him to regain consciousness and he starts screaming. After I’ve sprayed Mace into his eyes, mouth, into his nostrils, I place a camel-hair coat from Ralph Lauren over his head, which drowns out the screams, sort of. I keep shooting nails into his hands until they’re both covered – nails bunched together, twisted over each other in places, making it impossible for him to try and sit up…”

    Vital Werewolf is a website set up by WatfordTalk, and they were running a series criticising the publication of the wolf diaries in the Chronicle, claiming that the village needn’t drag up its gruesome past:

    “I think it’s a kind of black cynicism about today’s world that Abso and certain others depend on for their readership. Look, if the contemporary condition is hopelessly ***ty, insipid, materialistic, emotionally ******ed, sadomasochistic, and stupid, then I (or any writer) can get away with slapping together stories with characters who are stupid, vapid, emotionally ******ed, which is easy, because these sorts of characters require no development. Actually promoting real-life characters who are stupid and vapid – and gruesome – is hopelessly ****ty and insipid, and encourages lycanthropy and meaningless murder.

    “If readers simply believe the world is stupid and shallow and mean, then Abso can write a mean shallow stupid piece that becomes a mordant deadpan commentary on the badness of everything. Look man, we’d probably most of us agree that these are dark times, and stupid ones, but do we need journalism that does nothing but dramatise how dark and stupid everything is?”

    Meanwhile, the village itself was alive with chatter about the following week being the one-year anniversary of the last werewolf attack, and though the conversations grew wearier and made less sense the later it got in Jellyman’s pub, the villagers were concerned to the point of fanaticism, and the pub became a kind of forum for theories and proposals for keeping safe in the future, and meting out revenge in the coming weeks for last year’s spate of killings.

    wfcmatt sang songs about the moon late into last night; nairobi hornet patrolled the streets, quietly trembling; sonofben stayed up all night researching Defunct v. Hectic, a landmark wolf case that he feared he may have to refer to in the coming weeks in court; Harrow Orn got no business, as more and more villagers now preferred the communal safety of the pub over the dingy anonymity of the brothel; and Cude>2<, well, his cat behavior consultancy business more or less remained the same (it had been floundering for several years).

    This morning wfcmatt was joined by the local drunkard, Optimistichornet. They sang a Cassiobury classic as the sun rose…

    “Ighalo-OH! Always believe in your soul, you’ve got the power to know, you’re indestructible… Always believe in!”

    The sun rose, but the air was black.

    Daft Row and nornironhorn were on their morning ‘run’, staggering past these two revelers, trying to exercise their way over their hangovers, when they saw it.

    There, nailed to the frame of the front window of the village shop, was Slavisa Jokanovic. His heart lay on the floor in front of him, and scrawled on the window in blood were the words, “ANOTHER YEAR, ANOTHER BIT OF FUN.”

    The werewolves were back.


    Anonymous messages and the Seer's viewing request should be sent to werewolfxvi@gmail.com.

    Voting for the lynch closes at 8pm sharp this evening. Anyone who fails to vote risks an unseemly death tonight...

    Thank you.
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2015
  2. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Good afternoon 352!
  3. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Cracking start 352, worth the wait.
  4. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    As the Village FC manager I will be taking charge of tonight's match against L*t*n. First 11 villagers to volunteer can be in the team's starting line up, everyone else is on the bench.

    Put your names on the notice board in the local tavern, don't forget your boots.
  5. Optimistichornet

    Optimistichornet Penguin Assassin

    Can I play Otter? Im a commanding central midfielder with an alcohol problem.
  6. WatfordTalk

    WatfordTalk First Team

    Can I play, Otter? I'm a pacy left winger with very little end product and am also likely to send a torrent of abuse your way if I don't start every game.
  7. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    Sign me up, Otter - I'm a goalkeeper.

    I was booted from my last team for allegations of match fixing.... not sure what they were on about myself.
  8. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Yes but if you deliberately let goals in v L*t*n you will get lynched, wolf or not.
  9. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    Good morning ye all,
    Tis a fine day to be,
    Got plenty of holes,
    For thee, thee, and thee.

    Been a year or so,
    Since gotten was the beast,
    So the soothsayers pronounce,
    Once again they will feast.

    Who will be the first,
    Who’ll be for the night,
    My prices are cheap today,
    But’ll go up at first light.

    Til’ then I’ll be in the bar,
    Inebriation is my goal,
    T’is always good to be drunk,
    When digging me a hole.
  10. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    Ill play up front if I may? Should be back from my job shuffling papers by then.

    Has Werewolf ever had a romance or a wedding?
  11. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    Best behaviour gaffer.
  12. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    Morning all. I guess I'll be a cheerleader for tonight's match?
  13. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    Cheerleader and beer serving wench!

    amirightboys? :naughty:
  14. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    I think it should be a mixed team

    No offense but I think a team of 6 year old girls could beat L*t*n so see no harm in having women in the team
  15. AshdonWFC

    AshdonWFC Prediction League Champion 2011/12

    Would quite like to play otter please, then we can get on the beers after!

    Good evening 352 ;)
  16. Jellyman

    Jellyman Squad Player

    I'll pass on the football team, but I'm happy to offer free ale on match days at The Full Moon Under Water.
  17. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    I don't want to play cos a) I never liked Otter and b) I have a job lot of brisket I need to shift.

    ps Opti, tell ya missus I'm keeping thick juicy sausage out back for her when she wants to swing by.
  18. darave8

    darave8 Forum lucky person

    I would play but I'm on a stakeout. There will be no crime in this town on my watch.
  19. AshdonWFC

    AshdonWFC Prediction League Champion 2011/12

    And on what beer is that Opti? What's your favourite?
  20. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    I don't mind playing or cheerleading tonight but I'll come along as I think I'll feel safer in company after recent events and the dogs at the groomers are very jittery which is making me nervous. Happy to serve beer to you lads if someone serves me a nice Pimms or gin in return.
  21. 352

    352 Moderator

    First anonymous message has arrived.

  22. wfcSinatra

    wfcSinatra Predictor Choker 14/15

    I'll play centre back but can't promise I won't tombstone a Luton player.
  23. 352

    352 Moderator

    The second message arrived at almost the exact same time.

  24. wfcSinatra

    wfcSinatra Predictor Choker 14/15

    Either our wolf is very clever or this is the guy who posted in one of the earlier threads saying he didn't know how to play but would love to learn how, I can't remember who that was though..
  25. Norwayhornet

    Norwayhornet Squad Player

    Brilliant opener 352 my knees won't let me play footy and too busy at the farm . Hmm may have found what looks like werewolf droppings take care y'all I'm off to get my shotgun.
  26. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    My instinct is that first message is the Seer, second the Wolf.
  27. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    I sort of agree, but the chances of a seer choosing an evil character if 1 in 6 so not overly unlikely.

    However the first message goes on about looking at previous years, whoever was a wolf before is not necessarily going to be a wolf again but it would be crazy for the wolf to say he was innocent on the first morning. So I reckon there's a good chance that Darave is not a wolf but doesn't imply which message is more likely to be genuine.
  28. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    2 names mentioned,
    2 names in the pot,
    Cude >2< and Darave,
    Believe them or not.

    One thing for sure,
    One thing I will say,
    The spotlight hits them,
    On this the first day.

    Whatever the roles,
    Add this to the list,
    I’m 10 ales to the good,
    And getting pretty pished.
  29. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Rule nothing out. In the last game I think it was 3 evil viewings in the first 4.

    I'm more surprised we've had 2 messages so quickly. Does 352 have some nasty threat hanging over the major players?
  30. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    Did I mention I was a poetic gravedigger?
  31. Norwayhornet

    Norwayhornet Squad Player

    thats interesting my gut feeling was other way round !
  32. With A Smile

    With A Smile First Team

    the first days posts are always a nightmare, as you have nothing to go on one way or the other.

    A small Parish matter, we seem to have a influx of cars in the village at the moment. If you can avoid parking on the grass verges we would be grateful.

    Many thanks
  33. With A Smile

    With A Smile First Team

    it must be the other way round. The wolf wouldn't declare someone as evil, unless they are bonkers
  34. With A Smile

    With A Smile First Team

    what a load of crap, of course they would to divert attention ! Bloody hell i'm not even blond
  35. Norwayhornet

    Norwayhornet Squad Player

    Good point WaS I agree with you anyone know if silver buckshot works on werewolves? or am I getting confused with vampires?
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