[SIGNED perm] Samuel Kalu

I wonder how much CAS will eventually award us for him?

 

Looks like we're about to finally announce him:

 

Danny Rose new 5 year contract incoming...

 

Leventhal has actually tweeted it's confirmed before the club has confirmed it - should be 'teased', really:

 

Genius

 

I'm hearing this one is now really really close.

 

We've got Kalu, Samuel Kalu, I just don't think you understand. He's Nigerian, We love Nigerians, we've got Troost, Okoye, Dennis, Etebo and Kalu.

 

Fixed.

 

Looks like a decent rancid scattergun signing

 

Fixed this one too.

 

Great, another player with no leadership added to our squad. Another €4m well wasted.

gInO aNd SCoTt Do BuSiNeSs PrOpErLy.

 

This is actually based on a tried and tested methodology of having one mercurial striker responsible for all our goals who's on fire for half a season, then passing the burden on to another to score the goals for the second half, so the first guy can sink back into their natural level of utter ineffectiveness forevermore.

 

He's probably the best player at the club to have had a parent kidnapped for a ransom.

 

I wish the vast majority of our squad were kidnapped without ransom.

 

My favourite bit of the clubs official article is where they say the winger has signed 'following 3.5 successful years in France's top tier where he scored 9 goals...'

They sound wildly successful.

 

They'd pay us to take them back

 

Spaghetti meet wall

 

If this means Sema is left out of the squad entirely then it's a great signing.

 

Yeah even I am not going to try and put a positive spin on this one. Underwhelming (though still preferable to Sema coming off the bench)

 

Pretty happy with this one. No complaints from me for once.

 

Star Wars name: Kamuel Salu

Brilliant.

 

He looks about 40. Definitely a Nigerian ‘24’. Wait for him to retire at age 28.

 

This guy sounds like our potential Sarr replacement, here to cover now and ready for next season when Sarr leaves.
On another point I'm quite pleased that the new players "appear" to be the type that might stay on for next season if/when we get relegated.? (I mean in comparison with Sarr and Dennis).

 

What does LouOrns think about this guy? That will then become my opinion.

 

If Reids likes him I'm in, if not then I'm out. Has an issue like Kanu when it comes to his actual birth date by the look of it.

 

There’s no way on God’s green earth that this fella is 24 years old. The bloke on the left ain’t too youthful looking either

 

Absolutely not 24.

 

He's a proper catfish on Instagram.

Looks about 15 years younger in most of his pictures, which have had a serious doctoring.

 

Probably signed him purely based on those insta posts then.

 

Just had a look. One of the first pics on there he looks... well about 24. In fact it looks like a different person.

Have we signed George Weah's "cousin"???

 

Or the pics on there were taken 15 years ago ??

 

Didn't reids say that other new player who's looked good was shyte though? Can't remember which player, but his opinion is now considered unreliable in my mind.