Things you hate IV

Inane rhythmic clapping.

Currently on show at Wimbledon every time there's a line call challenge and hawkeye replay. (Why?)
Also regularly in evidence (and slightly out of time) on Strictly.

 

You watch "Strictly" ????

 

Of course not, but Mrs Willis does and I can hear the clapping from my shed.

 

And does Mrs Willis have good rhythm ?

 

Recent photo of Willis:

 

This ******* weather. I don't listen much to forecasts, but for the past month, my Missus has been telling me that next week it is due to get sunny. Next week never comes though and this perpetual summer of rain and misery continues. It's compounded knowing that every time it rains, Thames water dumps raw, untreated sewage into the River Chess at Chesham, because their storage facility gets overwhelmed.

 

Hanging's too good for 'em

 

When I put something in a safe place so I don't lose it. So safe in fact that when I come to want it I can;t remember where that safe place was.

I'm currently hunting for my spare watch battery. I'd tell you how long I've wasted looking for it but my watch has stopped and I have no idea.

 

Update, found it. It was in the last place I looked.

 

Yup. It's crap. The jet stream's the issue - it's stuck south of us and so sucks in all the mid-Atlantic weather directly to us.

 

Last year, during an awful year, the weather was a source of some relief. Daily exercise meant lots of walks down to the Chess valley in gorgeous sunshine. Now that same valley is awash with terds and detritus mixed with mud.

 

I hope the watercress farm are getting a big wedge of compensation. They have set up an ice-cream van to cover the lack of cress. I've shifted my walks to the hilltops cause it stinks down by the river. Disgraceful stuff.

 

Wimbledon. It's the Duke of Edinburgh's death of sports events. The Beeb shunting everything on both channels for a tournament where we don't have a player with a hope of winning anymore.

Djokovic the robot is walking to the men's title, yet again, as generation after generation fails to unseat him.

Radecanu provided some much needed interest for a while, but now it's just a parade of people with Eastern Bloc surnames, representing G7 countries.

I'll tune in for Bargain Hunt and it will be a mixed doubles match instead. That's not even a proper thing. That's just like a fun knockabout.

Just play singles and get the tourney over with. Let Djokovic win his 76th slam, see Murray physically combust in round 4 and be done.

 

Two things from the Euros:

Sweet Caroline, I heard the Wembley DJ interviewed twice about it, and he made out it was some brave maverick choice to play it and it’s suddenly caught on. Obviously it’s been in sport for years and years, but somehow now the plastics have come along and seem to think it’s been invented as a thing only now in 2021 for the England football team?

Also saw the girl who got Mason Mount’s shirt at the end of the Denmark game all over the TV with her dad yesterday. On BBC breakfast news they asked the dad where they were watching the final, at this point he made a public appeal to get his daughter to the final and could anyone help them out with tickets. Errrr why? She already got to the semi and got a players shirt, got herself all over TV and got a personal message from Mount off the back of it, why precisely should she get a ticket to the final? Hasn’t she had enough already and aren’t there other more deserving people out there?

I appreciate the above are more things that annoyed me, rather than things you hate.

 

My snuffly nose for the past week. Thank you English ‘summer’.

 

I received an email earlier this week from a bloke who, at the end of the message after his name, added '(he/him)'. Can someone explain to me what the f**king hell is going on?

 

Oh god, don’t open that can of worms again.

 

This is so common in my industry (HR tech) that I'm thinking of becoming non-binary. I don't actually have to do anything except demand people call me 'they/them' and it means everyone has to be nice to me or I can call them a nazi.

 

It's the first time I've come across it. The world's gone mental

 

This place being offline. Good God I got some work done.

 

Only time I've seen it is when the name could be a guy or a girl (eg Sam, Chris, Leigh etc) and the sender is just clarifying which he/she is.....check the first name of the sender ?

 

There’s an Andrew at my work who has ‘he/him’ in his email signature.

 

Surely you've already got enough genders and sexual orientations through all your logins ? Straight guy = me, Straight woman = HH24, gay guy = Lloyd, "shemale" = ZZ, "womanusedtobeaguy" = Lowerrous, etc etc ??

 

Could have been an Andi McDowell, Andi Osho I guess ?

 

Trevor - not much ambiguity in that I'd have thought

 

A first world problem only the fully fed have .
Unfortunately hungry poorly clothed children are not deemed as important to some .

 

Quite. It takes 'self obsession' to a new level

 

What I hate is that adverts are nothing to do with the product. They're conning and tricking people into believing they can buy a lifestyle.

Sitting at home having a heavy period and eating ice cream? Use our pads and you'll be a sexy, confdent woman, grinning her way through a number of physical activities with a load of sexy mates.

Are you a hormonal teenager with BO? Buy our body spray and you can time travel and chicks will be all over you.

Enjoy nutritionally neutral, high calory junk food? Buy our crap and you'll share loads of laughs with your mates (before presumably dumping your packaging into a hedge in an AONB as that's where it all ends up).

Thirsty? Our high sugsr fizzy drink will make you cool, like these multi ethnic hipsters who are all randomly body popping and wearing fashionable clothing in a state if high excitement.

Do you have facial hair? Buy our razor and you'll still be a dad, except you'll be 30 uears old, with a fitness model physique and your parenting will revovle around hugs and moments of your offspring acheiving things or graduations, instead of shouting at them for leaving skids all over the toilet bowl.

 

What about the perverse new trend of fat positivity? Absolute land whales going off on each other about 'thin privilege,' 'healthy at any size' and 'fat is just as beautiful.'

These people even shame people like adele for losing weight, because it makes her a traitor. It's not just that they are happy being fat. They expect others to celebrate it and even the medical profession to pretend that it isn't unhealthy.

What a privilege to be able to consume 3000 surplus calories per day whilst people starve, and then insist that you are opressed.

 

What have you guys done for poor and hungry this week? Just asking.

 

If you pick a certain combination you can get away with anything you want, all of the time.

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