Having children

If you had one snippet of advice to offer someone who has their first kid on the way, what would it be? Other than 'sleep now'!

 

Don't watch the crowning.

 

I had no intention of being down at the business end whilst it is going on and you seem to have backed up that plan.

 

When the Mrs comes home from hospital do everything for as long as you can until she's over the birth, (tiredness wise). The first few days/weeks is d*mn hard work for the Mother, and then you have hoards of relatives and friends coming over to see the baby whilst all you both want to do is sleep. Work like a Trojan for that time and she'll appreciate it for ever, trust me, and that includes all the night feeding/nappy changing etc.

Mrs Diamond stayed in hospital for a couple of nights after our first one and didn't sleep a wink so it put her in a bad place for a while, for the next 2 nippers she came home asap and caught up completely on sleep for a few days here while I took over. Let the friends/relatives know a good time to come over otherwise it'll be a constant stream at all hours.

Good luck.

 

Don't waste hundreds of pounds on stuff babies honestly don't need (bottle steriliser, toys, even crib..or at least a fancy one, baby bath and nappy changing station are a few that come to mind) If money is no object then go ahead but if not better to hold onto it till they are toddlers and really start needing stuff

 

Start reading to your child from about 9 months and in the next 10-14 years read to them just about every night the books you loved, or never got to read, or the acknowledged classics.

Encourage them to love their food - resist their access to junk food as long as you can.

Acknowledge the fear you have as a parent (that stays for ever) and live with it. Follow your own judgement rather than other kids and their parents.

 

Shave your head NOW! You'll lose it all eventually anyway!

(I'm a slaphead if you haven't guessed - that's after 3 kids!).

 

Bring them up to be a hornet

 

1. Be receptive to advice but sometimes you'll get conflicting advice so go with your instincts.
2. Although a new born baby is delicate, it won't fall apart if you hold him/her slightly wrong.
3. Both my children slept through the night by the ages of 6 weeks and 8 weeks respectively - a new born baby will need a feed every 4 hours or so (so those early weeks will be tiring) but after 6 weeks it should be down to 4 feeds roughly 6 hours apart but a feed itself will last about 30-40 minutes, in order to get a good kip, make the last feed of the day about 11:30pm so you'll be in bed just after midnight but you'll have to be up by 5:30am to prepare for the next feed but in my opinion I would rather wake up at 5:30am than 3am.
4. Give it at least 3 months before she'll want a shag again, stock up on porn.

 

Luckily, I function on little sleep. I normally go to bed about midnight and I'm up and about by 5:30/6 and I'm fine with that.

I'm incredibly excited but it's a daunting prospect as well. We are lucky that we have no financial issues so we are in a good position to do it, which is handy as maternity/paternity pay is shocking.

 

Ha ha! Possibly the best piece of advice yet..!

 

Our first conversation after doing a pregnany test was football club allegiance. The conversation lasted a couple of seconds and ended in the correct way.

 

Likewise on both counts, as for paternity my employers are very good and gave me the two weeks I was entitled to on full pay. My wife's employers gave what they had to but it wasn't a massive deal as she planned to work for one month after the year and then hand her notice in so it worked out quite nice.

 

I think my employer will give me a week full pay, and the second week I shall take as holiday and we are fine with what the missus is going to get paid whilst she is off. When it comes to childcare she can get vouchers with her job which will save some of the cost as that is when it looks as though it gets properly expensive.

 

10+ years worth of Nectar points paid for about 6-8 months worth of nappies helped along the way. Also unless you are earning over £60k you will get a bit of child benefit but if you're earning between £50k and £60k some of it has to be paid back. (1% for each £100 you earn over £50k).

 

When's the big day LBH?

 

1st of Feb, so about four months to go. We're officially over half way now and it is cooking as it should be so all is well.

 

I've got two books I will send you the details on LBH, they are both good from the man's point of view. I'm going through it all right now with baby due in next four weeks

 

Excellent. Mrs UEA is cooking one for 14th November. Gulp!

 

Get an oval-shaped clockwork-timer steamer for all your sterilizing/baby food heating needs.

All expensive hi-fi / ent tech to be at least 1m off the ground.

Get used to the smell of sour milk / sick.

Quite a few good quality "waterproofed" fold-up picnic rugs. Baby can play/pi55/puke on them on top of funriture/beds/floors and they can be bunged straight in the wash.

You can never have enough nappies/babywipes.

 

Spare the rod and you spoil the child
A smack won't kill a child, but in time, may save its life
Children should be seen and not heard.

All advice from a generation where people apparently hated their progeny.

 

Not necessarily, the comment I made about my children sleeping through the night is true, but not 100% true as diahhorea, teething, innoculations, colds do throw it out of kilter once in a while; but on the other end of the scale I do know someone whose children were over 5 years before managing to sleep through the night.

As for feeding, my first was a nightmare my second is like a little piranna; on the flip side my first wouldn't open drawers and cupboards climb everything and anything but my second does.

 

Don't open your mouth and make 'cooing' noises while changing a baby boy's nappy.

This can be filed under 'expect the unexpected'.

 

My advice - despite what do-gooders will say, they are mature enough to work and contribute financially at the age of 8

 

Oh and take extra care should your laptop pick up a new wifi hotspot in the street called 'Gary Glitters Love Hub'

 

All the best UEA, IAYS and LBH

Forum babies.

 

Congratulations UEA. Christmas has just changed forever.

 

Be careful with the books you let them read.

A good honest to goodness tale of country folk is a good start, such as Animal Farm.

 

Happily no one I see knows anything about me outside of Brazil. In an hours notice I can delete my facebook and be on a plane back home

 

All the best fellows, I hope you will enjoy sitting in the family stand with the nippers.

 

My Son is now 12 weeks old and we watched our first game together (all be it on Sky) v Bmth and he proudly had his Hornet sleep suit on... apt really as he slept thru most of it.
In my recent experience and opinion, nothing anyone says to you can prepare you for just how hard it is, juggling responsibilty at work and the obvious need of your new family are hard.
Def help your Mrs as much as possible and get stuck in, i echo what others have said and go with your instinct on things and you'll be fine. First 6 weeks for us were a shock, but you naturally adjust to things. Good luck to you!

 

The one piece of advice I want to share with you, and all prospective parents;

Enjoy every moment - even if you've got puke on your shoulder, or worse under your finger nails in a meeting at work..even if it's 2.30am and it's only an hour since they settled after the last feed... They are a treasure which will bring joy to you, even when they're all grown up