[NOT HAPPENING] Assombalonga

Reminds me I must work out where that ignore button is

 

Papercut to my very heart. Sob.

 

Will you too just **** each other already, the sexual tension is unbearable

 

Threesome?

 

Foursome...

 

WTF. Why not...

 

I'm very discreet. And tender.

 

And that's before we even get started.

 

Gangbang?

Let's face it. if the Pozzos aren't gonna sign anyone we might as well all just ****.

 

Can we do it at Oliver Grove? Highgrade has been waiting for some action down there for some time now...

 

Oliver Grove sounds like the sort of venue where one might get a used hypodermic up the urethra or a shard of broken WKD bottle in your bumholio.

Let's look for somewhere more comfortable.

 

I hear bournemouth is nice this time of year.

 

When the forum becomes grinder

 

we'll all end up, stuck like pincushions, crying and sniffling "If only you'd signed Assombalonga Gino. I wouldn't be crouched in a gutter coated in the goo of 11 strangers"

 

Hahaha I hope Gino is reading this

 

We're not allowed to use foreign objects? I'm out.

 

Disagree.

Oliver Grove sounds like a posh city banker who takes pleasure in screwing over the little guy. Then he spends all his immorally earned cash on hookers and beak.

 

Gino's loaded up the transit with a double mattress, bucket of poppers and blackout blinds. Parking up at Whippendell Woods car park after lights out. Bottles of sherry and Barry Manilow CDs in the Bently for the ladies if you want to bring them.

 

Hahaha

 

4-4-2?

 

Tell me more. I sense a book deal down the line.

 

Everybody back in the pile

 

A few tweets from Boro fans reckon they have signed Britt ,but accompanying photo didn't look like him .

 

Four in the pink, four in the stink and 2 in the, err belly button?

 

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/foot...week-deal-beats-off-burnley-and-watford-bids/

Yick. The S*n. Spits.

"Middlesbrough land Nottingham Forest striker Britt Assombalonga as £14m offer and £60k-a-week deal beats off Burnley and Watford bids.

They plan to ink the deal once he gets back from Forest’s Florida training camp.

Burnley were not prepared to match Forest’s offer for Assombalonga.

And Watford backed off when the bidding rose."

Old Nixon from the Sun was banging on about a deal with crazy figures from Middlesbrough for Assombalonga.

 

Seems to have gone.
Which 4-5 players will we get pants-wettingly excited about next week, slotting them into preferred team structures, before seeing them drift away other teams ?

 

Looking at that close up in the Sun of Gary Monk, I think Boro should be more concerned with getting him a medical check-up, than Britt. He looks well stressed out.

 

60k a week in championship. Given what Villa, Boro and Wolves are up to someone is going bust soon I reckon. And clearly FFP is out of the window now!

 

That's a shame coz I don't think we'll bother trying to match that. Does this leave the door open for us to try and sign Brainwaithe?

 

Not to worry now he's off to Middlesbrough if this morningvreports are to be believed - £14m and £60k pw ..... another rumoured player comes and (albeit not confirmed yet) goes to another team

 

At £14m and 60k a week, I'm prepared to see him join someone else. Especially in the Championship where it doesn't affect us.

 

Nor should we, it's excessive for someone who isnt necessarily a starter.

 

£14m and £60k a week?! Boro can have him

 

Wow. Ridiculous offer from Boro if true. Gino will never match that, and rightly so.

 

And we get a % of the £4m profit forest are making on the deal.