Having children

First 3 weeks was nothing but pure survival mode. Just staying alive. In my experience, being able to function without sleep before the baby comes matters very little once the the big day comes. It's a whole new ball game. After the 3 weeks of brutal adjustment and trying to figure out what the heck you're supposed to do with a baby, establish routines and do your best to stick with them. Gives the baby something concrete to rely on, it seemed to help our daughter stay pretty calm and settled. Trust your instincts, even if sometimes it conflicts with advice given at the hospital or by your doctor. Babies are durable.

Don't think about how life used to be before you had a child, that world is lost to you. Be positive and look forward always. Finally, understand that no advice on here, or anywhere else, will actually be able to prepare you to in the slightest to deal with what is coming.

 

Swot up on all that stuff your parents should have taught you!

Do not treat your child as 'special' and stay away from brand names whether it be clothes, toys or even ketchup. Their tastebuds evolve quite rapidly so reintroduce all the veggies they've previously rejected at regular intervals until they take to them. Reward a clean plate (but not with chocolate) and remember that it is only you that can set your kid up with a healthy lifestyle. Also remember that playing Fifa 14 is not actually the same as participating, let them go out and play (but do be sensible about it).

Teach them right from wrong and stick to your guns.

 

Don't take any advice on how to bring up YOUR baby from anyone else. As parents you will know whats best for them, you will understand their cry, what they want and when they want it

Never change them before you go out, change them in the car when you get somewhere, they'll only be sick on what ever they wear.

Be consistent in how you treat them

Never contradict mum

Enjoy it ! it is the greatest feeling in the world, full of fear, joy, excitement, anticipation, pride and tears

 

This thread is making me feel that I have been around this forum and its predecessors much too long because you're all grown up and having babies
A word of warning - this is the easy bit! Enjoy it and make happy memories.

 

Well I hoped you kept him awake long enough to boo Dyer!

 

Thanks all! It's certainly an exciting time, but equally I know that it's going to be bl0ody hard work as well.

I'm really lucky that two close, local pals also have kids on the way, one due in a fortnight, one in about two months and me in four months so I have mates to call upon and the girls are all good mates as well.

I was supremely happy in my life before this news cropped up but now I feel like I'm floating on air every day - I feel very lucky.

 

You could quite easily set up a boxing club.

 

Having just got home from my nieces for her birthday today, I would certainly advise on not taking babies to a curry house - my nephew is only a few months old and he took great pleasure in smashing his hand through a plateful of poppadoms... twice... before I had chance to remove his flailing arm from our food.

On the other hand, I thought I'd surprise my nieces outside of school this afternoon - which they loved. Both girls ran out of their neighbouring classrooms to cuddle their favourite uncle. Point being, kids love surprises, even just simple ones. If you can fit one in a day you've done well.

All the best.

 

LBH, I really recommend books these two for Dads to be... they've proved most useful so far.... but I guess I could find what they say is all b*ll*cks once the baby arrives.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Commando-Da...8&qid=1411457460&sr=1-1&keywords=commando+dad
This is pretty much an army survival guide for once the baby arrives.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Expectant-D...57492&sr=1-2-spell&keywords=the+expentant+dad
This is very good source material for us Dads, keeps it simple and will give you a lot of pointers.

We also did NCT and NHS classes. Both very informative and with the NHS one it included a tour of the maternity wards.

Wishing you and all the other forum Dads to be all the best. We had a few scares along the way and we are not there yet, so fingers crossed for us too.

BTW, you wont believe how much baby stuff you start noticing on TV and everywhere. You started checking out peoples buggies as they go by yet??

 

It makes me laugh the buggies that parents buy at several hundreds of £'s these days. They look like mini transformer (the film) type constructions, with the sophistication of a small Mercedes Benz.

I was watching someone the other day setting it all up in a supermarket Car park. It took him about 5 minutes just to build it.

We used an extremely simple affair that took about 5 seconds we could open and close it with one hand, and we could hook it over an arm, when getting on and off buses. Of course, it didn't have the street cred that most young parents want these days on the school run, but...

 

Rule's 1 and 2 mate

 

Season will be over by then so no worries about missing games for the birth, watching your child growing up etc.

 

Great tip. Anything over £150 is a complete waste of money. Keep it simple. A buggy that reclines, has a rain cover, a cosy toes thingy and a little basket underneath is everything you will ever need. Same with car seats, over £40 and you're being ripped off. Nobody ever carries their babies in those car seats with handles further than 25 yards anyway, it's one of the most uncomfortable things you can possibly imagine doing.

I do admit that I miss the buggy days. You can hang everything off of those things.

 

It's for spending as much time with our baby I gave up the ST this year (I expect promotion now as a result)

 

best advice; when you do get around to doing the naughty again, don't tell her its like throwing a hot dog down a long corridor.

 

Advice about raising a child? I wouldn't presume.

Advice about preserving your wallet and marriage, a bit more....

1. I had a neighbour (minor public school Chelsea fan) who went straight out and swapped his BMW 3 series convertible for a new 5 series estate. Then went to Manchester and spent £1000 on a baby seat with matching leather to his new car.
Twunt.

2. Ditto getting a Renault Scenic or similar because now you're a family man. No, you're a sad case, an ordinary motor will do. An ickle baby won't know the difference and doesn't ask you to get the 4wd drive buggy (good advice from the poster above re this) which people get to show how fertile they are in Waitrose or the Harlequin. Twunts.

3. Have a word with yourself quietly so you don't do what said now divorced Chelsea fan and many guys I worked with did - which was have an affair before or just after the birth of their first born - subconsciously avoiding getting tied down or rebelling against pressure to have a baby, or just getting bored with wife who won't be touched. It happens more than you know.

4. Try not to encourage mum eating for two, and hope she can remain as fit and active as close to the birth as possible, which will help in long run. Mine went from Kylie Minogue to Claire Rayner in about six months with the first, sorted herself out for the second as it took an age to lose the weight with focus on the child (quite rightly)

5. Ensure after the birth people ask after your partner, who often gets forgotten as everyone fusses and focuses on how the baby is.

6. Make sure you have an interest or something that you share which isn't anything to do with the new child. If you don't, you risk having sod all in common after the kids grow up and move on, as they will. And that is expensive in more ways than one. Make time for each other and plan help for nights out etc, so you can remember what brought you together as a couple and ensures your partner doesn't become regarded as just a mum to you.

7. Make a time capsule treasure chest of the papers, and things in vogue on the day your baby is born....

8. Remember Baby on Board stickers are for people that can't drive to save their lives and are meaningless. Please avoid.

 

1. Every stage is a phase. Getting sleepless nights in the early years is horrendous but you will totally forget that stage when they start crawling and you panic thinking they've opened the front door and crawled off towards a motorway (hint. Look in another room to where they were originally)

2. Little people, little problems. Big people, big problems. Try understanding a teenage daughter...bloody impossible

 

I looked once and never again!

 

Listen to others but the only correct way is what works for you.
Be as helpful as you can to the Mrs
Go out and get utterly smashed as you may not get the chance again for a while
Enjoy it, it's the most unbelievable thing that will ever happen to you.
Make sure you enjoy the first few months as when they start walking and talking it's a whole different ball game!

 

I agree. My boy's a good lad and his asthma's getting better. I'll beat any price your local chimney sweep quotes you.

 

Children are noisy, smelly, expensive, irritating, annoying, messy, time consuming and an inconvenience.

Occasionally they can provide some form of amusement.

 

I've often thought that I wished my children could have stayed about 4 to 8 years old, for ever!

 

Best of luck gents!

I've considerably warmed to the idea of children in the last year or so. Need a girlfriend first, though...

 

Superb, thanks mate. We're booked to go on the NCT classes (one of which finishes at 2pm in LB on Saturday the 3rd January...if we get a good home cup draw that will have to be a very quick drive to the Vic!) and I've been recommended the NHS one to visit the ward etc. I'm a bit of a control freak in terms of I like to be able to visualise it and be ready so the thought of having to drive her to the hospital when the day comes and not know EXACTLY where I am going fills me with dread. I want to know where to park, who to phone and where we'll be.

Anybody I see with a baby now I get wondering how old the kid is etc. I've not been checking out the buggies yet though!

Good luck to you and your missus as well. The next WIFC centre half partnership will soon be in town

 

Do you chaps know what you are having?

 

something's that current dads will relate to

1 - that feeling when you leave the hospital and get in your car and your alone after the birth for the first time. Thats when the pride and joy first hits you and you get a buzz

2 - you learn to dance ! he moment you hold a baby you naturally learn how to move to a rhythm !

 

Nope. The missus wanted to find out (I wasn't too fussed) but the 20 week scan revealed nothing as the baby found a corner to hide in. All's well though and as someone said to me it's the one nailed on surprise that still exists in the world without someone who can spoil it so why not wait it out. You?

In other news, christ this thread has gone all mumsnet!

 

We did contemplate finding out but we've decided to wait for the surprise. I reckon boy, missus reckons girl. It is growing and healthy and I genuinely don't care about the sex so long as it's healthy.

I don't know what you mean about mumsnet Hun, you'll be fine babe, thinking of you darlin!

 

My Mrs and I are both planners (control freaks?).. so we wanted to find out.. and its girl, so no CB partnership LBH... just another WIFC wag

Although its quite possible for the scans to make a mistake, a friend of my sister were told girl and it arrived a boy.

And I understand what you mean about needing to know everything about the maternity bit... the tour helped immensely, only thing Im nervous about now is making sure we get to the hospital at the right time (mainly not so late that baby comes at home or in the car).. and she has been instructed not to give birth on a match day, I'll be a nervous wreck stuck in the supporters traffic around Vic Rd.

Four weeks to go and the Mrs is totally fed up with the pains, tiredness and restrictions on what she can/cant do.and wants her out ASAP. She has also finished work so bored stiff at home getting serious cabin fever

 

Human probably, but a puppy would be a welcome surprise...

 

But surely you could find a positive there somewhere?

 

I'll be a nervous wreck trying to find out the score without her noticing she hasnt got my full attention :mengoal:

 

Go out as a couple as much as you can pre baby