Everton Watch

Discussion in 'General Football & Other Sport' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    I fear the worst PO.
    'Marco' has been seen talking to my neighbour,who works at Paradise Wildlife Park.
    The word is he has been approached to be the star attraction at their upcoming 'Reptile Day'.
    He's sulking quite badly,not touching his rodents and I hear he has turned his phone off and has not turned up for his media commitments.
    I think he'll ask to be released from his contract and speak to PWP.
    Ford says they've promised him an extra bag of apples and as many watches as he can swallow.
    Worrying times.
    hornetgags likes this.
  2. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    Appreciate it's illegal in this country but my suggestion is feed it live mice rather than frozen.
  3. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    If PWP want him they will get him

    It's ludicrous for you to sack him though IBB you'll end with a far inferior animal puppet and he'll slither on to greater things
  4. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    "I know,I know,oh I know Audrey!"
    Confidentially I'm meeting with Sooty later,although he's staying tight lipped.
  5. Beekayess

    Beekayess Reservist

    Are you not thinking of Zippy ?
    I Blame Bassett likes this.
  6. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    What is especially admirable is how the Hornets fans are so intent on watching their team that nothing, repeat nothing, will distract them.
  7. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    With the national exposure, the offers will come.

    I advise holding out for the big one.

    Boom, boom!
  8. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    "Is it blue Basil?"
  9. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    The word from Harpenden Tennis Club is that you're both...
  10. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    When will this petty rivalry end?!
    Broxbourne,I am told,are our rivals.
    In a highly charged 50s match on Sunday,Broxbourne's two better (and I use that word advisedly) players refused to play as they would have to face Nursie and El Faggo.*
    Spectacularly juvenile,even by tennis standards!
    *Former Broxbourne players.
  11. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    The players have nicknames - we need to hear more
    RookeryDad likes this.
  12. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    Nursie* as she worked from home to nurse her husband recover when he had a hip replacement.
    El Faggo as she seems to exist on cigarettes and alcohol. A spurs fan too!
    One of the other pair is the aunt of Oliver Skipp.
    * Nursie is a lawyer, with a crush on Federer.
  13. hornetboy1

    hornetboy1 First Team

    Interesting developments. Apparently the Everton ITK's seem to think it's genuine. We'll know for sure very soon I guess.
  14. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Whats' that Marxist* quote about tragedy turning to farce?

    * I think "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER" (Telegram to the Friar's Club of Beverly Hills to which he belonged, as recounted in Groucho and Me (1959), p. 321) also works here very well.
  15. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    That would be a huge pat on the back for all Hornets who contributed on Saturday.

    The People’s Sacking.
  16. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    They're laughing at this on GrandOldTeam. It ends with 'source unknown'!
    nornironhorn likes this.
  17. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    It seems something of a coincidence for them both to have left?

    Money involved?
  18. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    We could phone the chap up to quiz him.
  19. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Shouldn’t she be La Fagga?

    Hopefully she didn’t hit the Glenfarclas too hard after last night.
  20. nornironhorn

    nornironhorn Administrator Staff Member

    Being laughed at on twitter too.

    I wonder which Everton ITKs think it is genuine.
  21. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator Staff Member

    This would have worked better on April 1st.
  22. GoingDown

    GoingDown Pizza & Figs

    Intrestin wots ur sorce m8
  23. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    Relieved to hear that's the reason.
    ps I heard "The Wheathampstead Massive" are your true rivals ?
  24. a19tgg

    a19tgg Reservist

    However likely or unlikely I pray they do appoint Mourinho. I reckon he’d be worse than Silva. A spent force who plays boring football, doesn’t have a style of play as such, just adapts to the opposition and try’s to stop them playing. He is your classic cheque book manager, way more so than Silva. He’ll want about £300m to spend and even then as seen at Utd, that doesn’t work for him anymore either. Please let it happen. If they appoint Mourinho and it doesn’t work where do they go from there? Fantastic stuff.
    Happy bunny and Cthulhu like this.
  25. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    Typical tennis club fall out. People with no knowledge and too much time trying to be David Lloyd.
    Do Wheathampstead have a club? It's tiddily poo if so.
    Possibly although she's quite robust,mainly as she appears to have the constitution of a central tunnel support. Her liver checked itself into The Betty Ford Clinic twenty years ago!
  26. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Maybe they should join a forum instead.
    The undeniable truth likes this.
  27. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Sounds as though you have picked up a latterday Betty Stove.

    Good signing it seems.
  28. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    Betty Stove is a good shout I'd agree!
    In truth I have to say she is certainly more mobile than El Faggo,even allowing for the fact she must be 70 plus!
  29. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Is she a fag behind the ear & hipflask girl or a 'valet with tray with martini on it at change of ends' kind or operator?
  30. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    Definitely the former.
    Nursie is the latter,likes vintage champagne,which as a lawyer,she can afford!
  31. Diamond

    Diamond Squad Player

  32. Knight GT

    Knight GT Predictor extraordinaire 2013/14

    Having a pretty miserable day, full of cold and about to go to a funeral but this made me laugh out loud. Brilliant stuff!
  33. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    I believe they claim they are the larger club and have a much larger catchment area extending into south London.
    I Blame Bassett and Happy bunny like this.
  34. Knight GT

    Knight GT Predictor extraordinaire 2013/14

    The song played as we walked from the funeral was Que Sera Sera. Maybe it’s a sign!!
  35. folkestone orn

    folkestone orn Reservist

    I like that it says 'other' top European clubs. That bit exposes the story as BS.

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