Everton Watch

Discussion in 'General Football & Other Sport' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Aug 6, 2018.

  1. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    I think we need a special thread to fully commemorate what I confidently expect to be a season that lurches from disaster to catastrophe for the smug serpentine slitherer, the big-nosed brazilian ******* and the rest of the overpaid and overrated toffee troublers.

    We all know how Slither's scaly backside barely hit the manager's seat here before he was whinging and wining about the multi-millions spent not being enough. Well it looks like even his forked tongue will have to be still for a little while, because Everton are spending in a stylee that would make a sailor on shore leave raise an eyebrow. http://www.goal.com/en/news/everton...lona-defender-mina/12w4x8ekahwan1ob7p08jbn9xz

    Mega-bankrolled man utd have just turned their back on the very average Colombian Yerry Mina, presumably because of his not being that good and his excessive wage demands. Time for Everton to swoop! Ha ha ha. Boom! There ye go. Another £32 million spent! Oh dear oh dear. Yerry 'The Paredes of the Mersey" Mina.

    But if you thought that was a shyte signing, how about Lucas Digne? A bargain at only £18.1 million. Triumphantly unveiled as a prize new signing. Perhaps he'll go on to captain the club. Perhaps he'll go one to play for 10 seasons and become Mister Everton? Well maybe if he gets his "You'll Never Walk Alone" Liverpool FC tattoo covered up that is....oh dear me. Oh dear. {gasps for breath} ha ha ha. Paging Tattoo Fixers. Oh dear...

    Optimistichornet and Diamond like this.
  2. Diamond

    Diamond Squad Player

    Great idea Clive. Everton and Watford double to go down, you read it here first.
  3. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Preseason results for 'Magic Marco's' super-duper new look Everton:

    1-1 draw with Bury. A well deserved and hard won point for the belly crawler.

    Then lost to Porto (failed to score) , followed by a 3-0 tonking off ahem...Blackburn Rovers (failed to score). Stuffed 4-1 by Rennes (scored a goal!!) and then another defeat at home to Valencia last time out. Oh I forgot they managed a bore draw with Lille. Then lost on penalties and failed to score.
  4. Keighley

    Keighley Reservist

    Suspect this thread will look rather ill-judged by the turn of the year, with us struggling in the bottom three and Everton aiming for Europe.

    Will be delighted if I am wrong.
    Cthulhu likes this.
  5. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    We'll see won't we. I'm very confident the Everton ship is steaming full speed ahead straight onto the rocks.
  6. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst First Year Pro

    You have a selective memory Clive. What about their 22-0 triumph against the mighty Irdning?
  7. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    Could we possibly just keep this thread in the safe so we don't look like total losers?
  8. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn Squad Player

    Bit harsh there with the Blackburn result. They were a week ahead with preseason.
  9. The Voice of Reason

    The Voice of Reason The One and Only

    However, Everton are a league ahead of Blackburn, which should trump their extra weeks training don't you think ;)
    RookeryDad likes this.
  10. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn Squad Player

    Yes I do, just my caustic lack of wit is all.
  11. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard Squad Player

    Some of you are worryingly obsessed, bit like Bournemouth.
  12. Diamond

    Diamond Squad Player

    Well when lu*on stop dicking around we can get some proper rivalry back. In the meantime we have to make some pretend enemies.
    cyaninternetdog and hornetgags like this.
  13. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    I see man utd have plucked that **** colombian defender from their feeble little grasp.

    ha ha ha!
  14. Knight GT

    Knight GT Predictor extraordinaire 2013/14

    Please close this thread, it’s embarrassing
    Cassetti's Beard likes this.
  15. folkestone orn

    folkestone orn Reservist

    I would take that, as long as Vydra scores double figures.
  16. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    Silva can have no complaints now if his team fail. They've massively backed him with signings.

    Wonder what he'll blame this time? The weather? The Scouse accents?
    folkestone orn likes this.
  17. folkestone orn

    folkestone orn Reservist

    If they don't finish top 6 he'll have failed imo.
  18. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    I see they've only gone and spunked a load of money on a shower of never-heard-of-them foreign mercenaries while the fabled pozzos scouting network has unearthed yet more gems.

    Fukking LOL.
  19. wfc4ever

    wfc4ever First Team Captain

    One thing is for sure - Silva will be under pressure to perform from the off after this spending spree.
  20. toffeeblue9

    toffeeblue9 Academy Graduate

    Nah, nobody will throw their toys out of the pram if that doesn't happen

    Last summer the expectation was that we should close the gap on the top 6. The season that followed illustrated just how huge that gap was. It looks like we've strengthened in the areas we needed to, but top 6 is probably still a fair way off. If he gets 7th and a good cup run, I think most will be pretty happy
  21. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    All that money they spent and they couldnt beat a newly promoted team, shambles of a club.
  22. wfc4ever

    wfc4ever First Team Captain

    He joined Everton on deadline day...
    Some Everton fans were already complaining Silva wasn't looking happy on the touchline - well do you they want Jurgen Klopp then?
  23. a19tgg

    a19tgg Reservist

    Suprised to see Richarlison finish so instinctively for his second goal yesterday, didn’t think he had it in him.
  24. Bring Back Standing

    Bring Back Standing First Year Pro

    To be fair, after a couple of seasons of Kolonel Koeman and Fast-Chewing Fat Sam, they don't recognise happy.
    wfc4ever likes this.
  25. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Delighted for the kid.

    Plainly, he played wonderfully well for us when he felt secure & was totally shitmatrised when Himself got sulky.
    Scalexman likes this.
  26. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    Yep, I read he failed the man utd medical
  27. toffeeblue9

    toffeeblue9 Academy Graduate

    Man Utd didn't even have an offer accepted for him. The line they spun to journalists was that they weren't prepared to pay the fees which his agent wanted (which is rich, considering they paid Pogba's agent more in fees for that deal than the Mina deal cost in total).
  28. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    Presumably because they thought Pogba was worth it and Mina wasn't,if worth is the correct word in the insanity of football fees.
  29. toffeeblue9

    toffeeblue9 Academy Graduate

    Quite possibly. Mina has a touch of the Bambi on ice about him from my initial impressions at The World Cup. We shall see
  30. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    I'm not bothered the Big-beaked Brazilian scored two at the weekend.

    He has to flatter to deceive. Same as he did for us.

    If he didn't, their disappointment in his ultimate useless, found-out, flop wouldn't be quite so fully felt........
  31. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    My sources inform me that in fact Mourinho requested he come for a trial and he was so poor, united pulled out of the deal so he went to everton.
  32. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    The 2 best goals he has scored in the UK came for Everton at the weekend and against them at Goodison last year. He is setting the benchmark high for his new fans.
  33. a19tgg

    a19tgg Reservist

  34. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

  35. folkestone orn

    folkestone orn Reservist

    I honestly don't see the point in paying that much for a watch. Gracia wins with his casio every time.

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