Things you hate IV

Agreed, if the seat you’re being asked to move to is significantly worse (e.g. less legroom, which might be why you’ve paid extra for it). Otherwise what’s the problem?

 

You might have specifically booked a window seat....or an aisle seat, depending on your preference ?
Me and Mrs TuT don't sit next to eachother on a plane on long flights. She just can't bear me. No, I'm tall so I like a window seat so I can lean and sleep. She likes an aisle seat so she can go to the loo whenever she wants without disturbing anyone. Sometimes we get a spare seat in the middle if we are lucky. Otherwise a confused passenger in the middle, offers to swap and we say "No thanks".

 

Yes; the reply is '4-3'

 

Genuinely took a few seconds to wonder how you were arguing that it was necessary to **** a work in order to get promoted.

I'm also going to have to utterly disagree with you here. Office coffee machine means 3 coffees and at least 3, leisurely dumps to follow. Use the urinals if you don't want to be trapped in a 1x2 cubicle with my faecal stench.

 

Once again this is people blaming the wrong people. How about blame the airlines for charging you for reserving a seat, when in fact this is a piece of basic, automated admin that should be free.

If you're booking flights for a family of 4, that are pushing your meagre cozzy livs budget, just so you can enjoy a week of sunshine one week, every 3 years, then you decide you wanted to actually take some luggage, you wanted to be able to check in online, you didn't want to be in the baggage hold with the chickens and by now, your £150 flights to spain are £280 each, then you get asked if you want to add £15 per person per flight to choose your seats?

**** that.

 

I'm with you on this. With these scally northerners, it's almost certainly a self inflicted whilst intoxicated 'disability.'

Breaking your metatarsal by kicking a concrete bollard when you're pissed doesn't entitle you to sympathy.

 

Urinals? Where do you work, The Vic?

 

Yeah. I'm Harriet Hornet.

 

Shocking news of Harriet’s ‘faecal stench’ if true. Presume this developed after you married Harry?

 

Fair enough, but if I’ve decided to shell out the £15 so I can get an aisle seat on the right hand side of the cabin so I can stretch my left leg out so my farked knee doesn’t lock up during the flight, there’s no way I’m swapping seats to one that does not offer that.

 

I hid it until that fateful day

 

Yeah that's also fair enough, but if you had the chance to swap to another aisle seat on the same side, so a couple or family could sit together?
Although this backs you up.

 

Fair enough. But i am guessing that those who couldn't be arsed to reserve a seat with a simple click on their phone will unlikely to be the early bird on a first come first served book-a-seat system.

 

Re seats, nothing gives me more pleasure than arriving at my place on a plane, train, theatre etc and finding someone already settled there so I can chuck them out - if they think they're actually in the right place and insist on checking their ticket I am inwardly in a state of ecstasy as they gather their belongings and f**k off

 

I said I wouldn’t swap to one that didn’t offer the same benefit; an identically positioned seat in a different row would be no problem. Unlikely to be the case though.

 

Worrying if poo.

 

Glastonbury.

Great if you want to go there and watch the generally middling acts perform below their best on a stage with 200k people in front of you waving flags or putting their Gfs on their shoulders, but I don't care about it.

If I did, I'd have gone.

As I didn't, I don't need a 24/7 running commentary on the thing on all forms of media. It's a ******* pop concert not news.

 

You have to remember that if the BBC gets broadcasting rights to anything these days they will big it up no end.

 

Plus, at the risk of sounding like Clive, it is so achingly middle class.

 

I get that continually at the 'Wood's cinema - you're given dedicated seats. Because it's a bit of a faff to use my son's CEA card I usually get our tickets in advance. It's the same procedure every time:

1. Arrive at seats to find some youths sitting in them.
2. Glare at the youths until one of them breaks eye-contact.
3. Forcefully tell them "Move!"
4. Watch as they go through the farce of checking their tickets against the seat numbers.
5. Glare at them further as the sheepishly move elsewhere.

I go through this rigmarole as I once just moved to some vacant seats - but five minutes into the film a family appeared demanding to "Sit in their seats"...

At the last match at the first lot of ProLeague matches (the 'packed' Belgium double header) we were politely asked to eat our picnic (which we were allowed to bring in for medical reasons - there's a rigorously applied ban in bringing anything other than a limited number of snacks) away from view of the large number of food concessions (which I, sort of, understand). We return to our seats, after lunch, for the afternoon match to find some bloke and a child sat in our seats. I do a double take (I'm not expecting this behaviour amongst genteel hockey supporters) and remark that there was something not quite right here. The bloke gives me a stiff ignoring. I then ask the bloke, politely and calmly, if he's certain that he's in the right seats? I'm told "A group of kids are sat in ours over there - and my son needs to be near an aisle as he's got a problem and often needs the toilet". That's it - I'm in the red zone: because 1) he had a chance to move but decided to play, what we call in the 'Wood the **** game*, and ,more importantly, 2) the disabled cobblers as I'm actually there with my disabled son... I'm off at full volume in a thick B'wood accent instructing him that all he's got to do is tell the people that they're in the wrong seats could they please move -and if he's unwilling to do that, he should point them out to me and I would tell 'em and I would now instruct them to "MOVE NOW!". The bully's been out-bullied he moves, in a fury, two rows in front of us with a parting shot of "I really hope you enjoy the game" and spends the whole of the first quarter loudly proclaiming that "I hope that bloke's got a good view in his seats" etc every so often. But karma strikes - the actual owners of the seats turn up, a group of, well pissed-up, Flemish cops/firemen/gendarmes and they attempt to sit five people in the four available seats which leads to the biggest one sitting on the mouthy bloke...

*The rules are simple - who can be the biggest, mouthiest, aggressive ****.

 

Proud of @Bwood_Horn for getting that **** out of his seats.

 

Teachers. My god are they boring. They do a vital job etc. But please don't make me have to spend any time with them.

Went to some sports awards thing at watersmeet in the week. Of course it's run by Teachers who managed to make a 45 minute ceremony last about 4 hours. Interesting and inspiring speech from an amazing para archer who was very erudite and well spoken, but otherwise, dull, dull, dull speeches from people who are professionals, paid to inspire our children. And the applause. Some kid did cup stacking. We clapped enthusiastically when he finished. We clapped again when the MC gave his name. Then the next speech giver comes up and asks for 'Another round of applause for little cup staking jonnny.' 3 rounds of applause for cup stacking is overkill in my book. Extrapolate all these extra rounds of applause and we're talking about 15 minutes added to the running time of this bloody thing.

 

I think what you are saying really is that school events are boring.

I went to our boy’s primary school music evening a few years ago. Two and half hours, sat on a tiny uncomfortable chair, in a stuffy assembly hall, listening to one awful dirge after another. (Ok, my son was brilliant, but that’s beside the point.)

Most of them can hardly play and therefore the pieces have to be rudimentary. The instruments were often poor quality and so that just added to the jarring nature of most every note. I had to bite my arm repeatedly just to distract myself and then, yes, you had to applaud fulsomely, like you had just witnessed some triumphant musical alchemy.

One particular girl with a violin was so bad I decided to boo, but Mrs Moose elbowed me hard in the ribs before I could get going.

 

Bedwetting at a school concert. My admiration for you is sky high.

But it's fair enough for kids to be boring. They're talentless ***** that we patronise because we don't want to hurt their feelings. My event was purely boring because of waffling, indulgent teachers who have zero aptitude for public speaking.

 

Those bloody inertia reel extending dog leads.

The idea is to wind the thing in when you're walking up narrow busy pavements - not walk along beaming while your pooch trots out a parrallel course 6 yards away and the lead takes out all comers round the ankles.

"Oh! Haha! Sorry!! Haha."

Hmmm.

 

****, and I cannot stress this enough, dogs. All ******* dogs and their ******* owners.

 

If I am reincarnated I should wish to return as a manufacturer of temporary traffic lights.

Can't move in this land without coming across them.

Six weeks or so ago I was by Chase Farm Hospital and didn't move for 45 minutes.

Transpires the water company had finished their work and left the sodding lights.

Χάος.

Last night and this morning "Road Closed and CCTV " signs up on the road to Newgate Street.

Lazy ****ers hadn't removed the works,not that they've done anything.

They're taking the wee wee.

 

And **** you too, you ******* ****er.

Glad we’ve got that straight.

 

I found a dog outside my house a few weeks ago. A neighbour gave me a lead and I took the dog for a walk to see if it knew where home was.
Within 5 minutes it had shat more than once outside peoples gates, and obviously not having a dog meaning no poo bags, I had to leave the steaming piles where they landed.

I thought "stuff this" and took the dog to Medivet where it was collected next day. I'm not ever getting a sh*tting machine.

 

Who would have thought Rick Astley would have absolutely nailed it and that Billy Idol would sound like a competition winner

 

Especially when some big pink nobody guest appears and butchers a perfectly good song

Sorry EJ, you've done nothing for me tonight so far, switching to Queens of the Stone Age.

 

Was is the dog or was it YOU SH**TING OUTSIDE YOUR (HATED) NEIGHBOURS' GATES?