Things you hate IV

Misread this and thought you'd stumbled upon a secret way to get a 3some with anal.

 

His wife's managed it in respect of WFC for years....

 

And watching relatives who don't follow sport get really worked up about it once a year. The *****.

 

I used to work in an office obsessed with it.

I'd come in on a Monday to a load of banter from apparently Welsh or Irish colleagues who were rubbing in a defeat I didn't even know I'd suffered. 'Aaaah boyo, lost the Calcutta cup again!'

 

But they shall inherit the earth

 

Aw that’s nice, I’m glad they’re getting something because they’ve had a hell of a time.

 

I thought it was blessed is the Greek. Fml.

 

Appliances that beep at you when they've finished their job. Think dishwasher, washing machine etc.

Beep. Long beeeeeeep. Beeeep beep beep long beeeeeeeeeeep. Then 60 seconds later another set of beeps. Just beep once FFS. I know you're ******* done.

The worst washing machine I ever owned beeped twice every 2 minutes to say it was finished. Made it impossible to do a wash at night as it always finished by waking us up by constantly beeping. ****.

 

My dishwasher opens when it's done - very theatrical, especially with the cloud of steam that accompanies the click and opening door. None of this beeping pleb nonsense.

 

Our washing machine plays a little song when it’s done, it’s utterly joyous.

 

"Washing the detectives" E Costello
"Easy lather" P Collins / P Bailey
"Rinse charming" A Ant
"You spin me right round" Dead or Alive ?

 

Run me out in the Cold Fairy Snow?

 

My dishwasher has asked me to stop calling her that.

 

Delivery service, "pick a day for your 3 hour timeslot".

Me. Picks Thursday. Wife's at home all afternoon.

Delivery service, "we'll let you know a 3 hour timeslot 2 hour in advance".

Me. Oh. I thought I could select a time, we're out in the morning but delivery 9am-9pm. Try to cancel and reschedule for Mon.

Delivery service. Can't reschedule. Need to contact supplier.

Me. Supplier is offline. Let's leave it. Hope we get 12pm - 9pm delivery time.

Delivery service last night. "Your parcel will be delivered between 9am and 12pm".

 

Organisations that are STILL hiding behind COVID 19 in order to provide ***** levels of service.

 

You say that, but it can't be true because 'your call is important to them.'

 

It's so important to them that they record all calls "for training purposes" just to make sure they did get everything 100% right in case you do actually manage to get through.

 

Waking up in a bad mood for no apparent reason and then getting annoyed by tiny irrational things, that sour my mood further.

This morning's minor irritations so far....

The prune faced old woman that always carries shopping bags looped over her elbows so she walks down the road like a velociraptor.
People moaning about the cost of living crisis whilst sipping 5 quids worth of tasteless coffee from the local chain coffee shop.
Those same people that justify parking their massive SUV on the yellow lines outside said coffee shop because they are "just nipping in for a coffee" and have turned their hazzards on
The arse that reversed out of their drive into a busy main road without first looking and simply expected both lanes to just stop and wait for them.
The schoolgirl at the bus stop using her phone on speaker and pointing the edge at her mouth rather than holding it properly.
The lack of Evening Standards left over from last night in the supermarket so I can't do my tea break battleship, codeword & crosswords later.
The lingering cold that is just bad enough to make we not want to go out for a few drinks and a curry tonight, but not bad enough to give me a valid excuse to not turn up for work.

 

Time of the month?

 

You can feel the passion in that post from the number of typos...esp point 3

 

Fat fingers small phone.
Autocorrect.

Add those both to the list.

 

"Always believe in your soul." What the **** does that mean? It's been annoying me for years.

Or maybe I've misunderstood, and it's actually "always believe in your sole." That would make a lot more sense.

 

I think it's something to do with the rock solid gut instint of this detective:

 

You've got the power to know.
You're indestructible.

 

In fact every single line from that chorus is sh*te when you write it down.
Except Igalooooh, oh.

 

I think it probably means buy the best shoes you can and they will never wear out.

 

Or maybe it's advice never to question the quality of the fish you've bought.

 

Don't give up on him.

 

People that don't check their posts for mistakes. This was like reading The Guardian

 

Still worth one more try ?

 

I'm lost and alone, chilled to the bone.
Silver lady.

 

I used to think he sang ‘Don’t give up on us Arnold, we can still pull through.’

Always wondered who the aforementioned ‘Arnold’ was.

It’s like when Sean played the mean pinball.

 

I thought a subsequent lyric in the Soul-ful song was 'It's written in the stars we catch in jars'

Which is lovely and poetic and so much better than 'We can't change ours'. IMO.