Colonel Sir Tom - Your Circuit's Dead, There's Something Wrong...

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, May 21, 2020.

  1. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Could I be the first to start the Col Sir Tom backlash?

    I've been a bit uneasy about it all the way along, but I've held my tongue. Done the decent thing. Brought a bit of a smile and some cheer to the country, didn't he eh? Good old Sir Tom. We all love the NHS. Have you seen how much he's raised now? Amazing isn't it? Have you got a rainbow in your window?

    Done alright out of it the old boy, hasn't he? Big promotion. Knighthood. Spitfire flypast. Interview on the breakfast news. Tributes from the Prime Minister. Land of hope and Glo-o-o-ry. A million virus-riddled birthday cards brought by our delivery drivers and posties who have nothing better to do at the moment anyway. Brilliant!

    All organised by his daughter apparently, Felicity Hogsworth-Piddleton, who is some sort of PR consultant. Quick call to the local press, who rushed down and broke the story, which was quickly picked up by the lazy journalism national press and since then, well it's all just gone crazy darling.

    Suspiciously big back garden he's got too, isn't it? Looks like a fair old country pile he lives in too. Not short of a few bob by the looks of it. If he wanted to give a grand to the NHS, he probably could have written out a cheque and stayed in his chair and watched Countdown. Shame it couldn't have been one of the poor ex-service people living very humbly who thought it up.

    100 laps (not even consecutive) isn't that much either. Hardly round the world in 80 days is it. If he'd swum the channel or something, I might have took a bit more notice. I was talking to one of my grannies today, Gwen, who's 99. I said to her that if only we'd got onto that stunt first, she could have done 100 trips up and down the corridor at the flats she lives on her frame and been Baronness Lady Gwen by now.
  2. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Don’t worry Clive. His state funeral with full honours and all the trimmings can’t be far off.
  3. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    I think Sir Tom seems a pretty solid kind of guy. He is not especially posh, was conscripted, did well in the Army fought with distinction, rose on merit, worked selling concrete and did well, raced motorbikes for his hobby. He probably could afford a nice gaff when he retired as not every house with a decent garden then was owned by a Russian or a hedge fund.

    I think his fundraising intentions were pretty straightforward, though his efforts have been manipulated by those desperate to deflect from the Govt’s performance and turn the NHS into a charity. I don’t know about his daughter’s role, but you have to be pretty well connected to push things that far. It was a slow burn on social media first and I think it just sync’d with the mood of people anxious and frustrated at home keen to do something.
    The Recluse, Simmos and Happy bunny like this.
  4. zztop

    zztop Eurovision Winner 2015

    The fact that he has raised £33m says more about the general public than him, He hasn't done anything spectacular, but he seems a decent old fella, and he certainly hasn't done any harm. I wish him well.

    Certainly not worth a thread of his own so Clive can have a dig at the non working class.
  5. Keighley

    Keighley First Team

    Top trolling from the Trot.
    Sahorn and Clive_ofthe_Kremlin like this.
  6. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    EDIT: This is spectacular:

    The other daughter's a quack/snakeoil salesperson:

    I think you took a wrong turn there @Clive_ofthe_Kremlin: you should have taken a different career path:

    Last edited: May 21, 2020
  7. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Haha ha - "We are utterly invested in ourselves!" she says over the inspirational music. You don't say. You look very much like the sort of person utterly invested in herself too.

    Love an amateur corporate vid - unintelligible corporate nonsense over film of one person looking quizzically at a screen and while another pretends to be typing. Not many brown faces amongst the team though is there?
    Last edited: May 22, 2020
    wfcmoog likes this.
  8. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Their careers are a good insight into what is wrong with our economy and the sort of middle class hokey that other middle class people reward.

    I’m getting an ‘Afterlife’ vibe about their office. Nice to see Woody Harrelson getting an HR gig though.
  9. StuBoy

    StuBoy Forum Cad and Bounder

    The thing is Clive, back in the day when he purchased his 'fair old country pile' it probably wasn't worth over a million, it was probably only about £50,000 or something. Back then, those of a certain generation seemed to have no issue in buying these bigger houses as things weren't as extortionate as they seem to be now.
  10. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

    I must say I found that BBC and the government clinging onto his coat tails uncomfortable at times
    Smudger and wfcmoog like this.
  11. Maninblack

    Maninblack Reservist

    Nothing wrong with Sir Capt Major (etc) Tom Moore that justifies any sort of backlash on him personally. His efforts, however strenuous or not they may have been for a 99yr old, were a welcome distraction from the unfolding horror of the pandemic. Yes, they were exploited by the media and the government with the latter using anything to try and distract us from their incompetent and criminal management of the lockdown and its current relaxation of the rules.

    What really gets my goat is the skills profile above. Absolutely stuffed full of the sort of management-speak b0ll0cks that means nothing to anyone but themselves. The worst part of all? Overcapitalisation. Hannah Ingram-Moore exposes her ignorance of the basics of written English, namely that capitals should only be used at the beginning of sentences and for proper nouns. She can't even do it consistently - look at the last sentence.

    Representing All that is Wrong with Britain Today. :mad:
  12. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Pretty much agree 100% with this - especially after reading the bit by the anonymous medic in yesterday's Guardian (posted elsewhere).
  13. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    "Customer Journey" - laughable.
    Smudger and Maninblack like this.
  14. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    One of my clients keeps referring to the "horse race journey", I can't help thinking, "Yes, round the f******g track."
  15. Maninblack

    Maninblack Reservist

    Ridiculous isn't it?! It's the fault of the copycat culture in the business world that almost forces customers to feedback on everything they (or even don't buy if you 'empty your cart'). One retailer has sent me FIVE emails asking for my feedback on a recent purchase "You may have forgotten...". NO, I HAVEN'T!

    What happens is that out of the customers who do give feedback, the vast majority will say "Yeah, it was great / good / fine" or whatever. But there's always a handful who gives detailed, critical feedback which makes the company think "We must change our practices and raise our prices to get 100% perfect feedback rather than 98%". NO you don't! Just understand that most people are happy and that there is a small proportion of society who have no common sense, too much time on their hands and who will never be satisfied.

    "The customer is always right" goes the business mantra. No they are not. Sometimes the customer is a complete ****.

    'Customer journey', my @rse...
  16. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Anyone who has spent any time at all dealing with complaints knows this to be absolutely true.
    Chewitt, wimbornet and Maninblack like this.
  17. Jumbolina

    Jumbolina First Team

    Not sure why customer journey can’t be used in right context. For example if you move a client from a UK entity to a German entity due to Brexit you want the “customer journey” to be as seamless as possible during the transition.
  18. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    Not really. It's a legitimate part of web development/UX design (and I suppose marketing and sales, really) with a very specific meaning. It's not something she made up.
    AndrewH63, wfcmoog and lowerrous like this.
  19. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    Or maybe Tom and his well-paid daughter pooled their resources so he could live with her family.
  20. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    I don’t care who made it up, it’s still utter piffle. As a customer I don’t go on a “journey” when I buy something.
    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  21. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    It's a metaphor. You're way overthinking it. :)

    You can hate the terminology as much or as little as you like, but it's not this lady's fault it's called what it's called. Her use of it is (likely) accurate and it has a very specific meaning inside her industry, much like "gynaecology" does in medicine.
  22. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    You do. The fact that you don't know you do means that Hortensia Bumblegrunt-Stink is doing her job well.

    Love this thread. Clive should be knighted for starting it.
    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  23. zztop

    zztop Eurovision Winner 2015

    Particularly if you buy it online and get it delivered.
  24. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    What about when you buy a train ticket?
  25. Keighley

    Keighley First Team

  26. Maninblack

    Maninblack Reservist

    It's still a pretentious ********-y name for it though! :)
  27. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    I was there at the actual 1980s moment when the BR management told us we were no longer to refer to 'passengers' but 'customers' in future.

    It's fascinating how important language is to the people at the top. As someone else said, the fashions spread like wildfire amongst 'em. We used to all have Staff Offices and Personnel Managers, but then all of a sudden you had to be 'Human Resources' or you were presumably laughed out of the CBI. Why the universal change and was it coincidental that the name change coincided with a conversion from a more or less friendly place where you were on first name terms with the staff and could easily get problems sorted out with your pay or holidays, to a bunch of remote, power-dressing, rule stickling, form filling bastards?
  28. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    Surely it’s the van driver that goes on the journey?
  29. Smudger

    Smudger Messi's Mad Coach Staff Member

    As I have remarked several times before on the forum all these titles are meaningless. There are as many titled fools whose actions are deplorable but have because of the money they have accrued (and passed onto their favourite party for possible favours) been deemed worthy of these three silly letters. To reinforce the words of William Channing what an individual does with regard to others in terms of their actions, compassion and kindness are what counts. Or what they leave us behind in the words in essays, plays and books, sculpture, painting, a great concerto or the acquisition of yet another piece of scientific knowledge.

    The actions displayed by the captain are carried out regularly by thousands of individuals every week for causes close to their heart. Do they not merit an award too ? If one can cast the mind back to the Penlee disaster in 1981 where lifeboatment sacrificed their lives trying to rescue the crew and passengers of the Union Star, the coxswain received a RNLI Gold Medal and the rest of the crew Bronze medals. Why the difference ? None of the people of Mousehole saw the need for it. They were all equally brave. I am sure the captain is as surprised by the attention he has received and given the generation he is from and his background even a little embarrassed on the inside by it.

    That is where the salient point lies though. The grubby section of the media love to turn stories into what they thinks suits the public mood or turn individuals into heroes as they choose fit. For example the way Princess Diana was turned into some mythological saintly Mary Magdalene of the twentieth century when she was a rather grubby character. Who supplies the media with the information ? PR companies and their heads which is where Clive your suggestion of the daughter comes in. A name almost out of the pages of a PG Wodehouse farce.

    A truly despicable business as shown by the much lamented I am sure Max Clifford. Promoting the dim, the nauseous and desperate to be in the limelight. Or quite happy to try through brainwashing defend the indefensible practices of companies, governments and ruthless people so long as they get paid. A business that is in the business of constantly selling the Emperors new clothes.

    All said and one Mr.Moore deserves no opprobrium for the way politicians, celebrities and the like jumped on the bandwagon and the BBC are included that. To excuse themselves of searching questions and the lack of financial support from those who can most afford it. Just leave it to the good old British taxpayer to dip their hands once more into their pocket to provide funds that should be as in the case of the RNLI from centralized government funds. The people who deserve our opprobrium are those clueless jackanapes in power and those who while lauding the NHS, social care workers and those in the lowest pay grades are quite happy to carry on tax evading and dodging their responsibility so society while being labelled for no reason whatsover as great Britons. They and you know who they are.

    They will be some of the first walking into the dark wood.
  30. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

  31. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Every time this thread bounces back to life I’m going to think the worst has happened.
  32. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

    Andre Gray is staying?
  33. Relegation Certs

    Relegation Certs Squad Player

    Got to agree with Clive here. Seems like a nice enough chap I suppose, in a bewildered kind of way, but the rest of the family are clearly scheming wrong 'uns.

    I bet they are absolutely fuming he hasn't carked it yet.
  34. Smudger

    Smudger Messi's Mad Coach Staff Member

    Don't give them ideas. I still have squeamish dreams remembering the maudlin mawkishness surrounding the patron saint of life itself Diana Spencer. Apparently one of the greatest Britons to have ever lived. Says more about the general public than anything else and their stupid tiny brains.
  35. Maninblack

    Maninblack Reservist

    Victim of the British media's age-old strategy of 'Build 'em up then knock 'em down and build 'em up again when they die', with particularly extreme peaks & troughs reserved for outsiders to their dahling Royal Family. As currently being practiced with Meghan Markle - I'm sure the obsequious obits have already been written, ready to print after a tragic accident cuts short her life as well.

    Now they've elevated Captain Tom to a high pedestal I'm sure The Scum are rooting around for the skeletons in his closet. They'll have to be quick though.....

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