Bargain Hunt

Jon Ronson and his Dad making another guest appearance.

 

Trilly's Reds may have overbaked their cake.

Trilly's double ender might save the day.

Oh dear the Anal Beads bomb.

That's more like it Cardiff. Proper losses incoming.

Almost a 3-figure Grand Slam. Impressive Trills.

Cooper misses a mythical, for him, GG by 3 notes. LOL.

Cooper finds a metal box that cleans up. Big profit for Carloss.

Something in the air. Quick buy those lottery tickets now.

 

This was last shown last September, so it's a time saving copy and paste job.

BBC approved preamble:
Carmarthen
Bargain HuntSeries 49-52 (Extended Versions) Episode 6 of 15
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000rvsv
Eric Knowles oversees today’s Bargain Hunt which comes from The National Botanic Garden of Wales in Carmarthen. Kate Bliss and Ben Cooper are guiding the reds and blues, who have three hundred pounds to spend on three items that will hopefully make them a profit at the auction in Cardiff. Eric also chats to ceramic artist Jonathan Cox, whose work is inspired by the Welsh countryside.

The Translation:
The weekend double-header is from The National Botanic Garden of Wales in Carmarthen, Uncle Eric is joined for this tatfest by Trilly and Useless Carlos Wispa. Cardiff appears to be the destination for the Auction which will mean a visit to the Cardiff Misers Profits Anonymous Meeting hosted by Ben Misery Rogers Jones, he of the Dour-Jones index. Get ready to salute the South Wales Hoarderers collective with their anthem Den of Shylock. Profits will be as rare as John Redwood's Welsh vocabulary.



The Staff:
[Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, safe pair of hands, not posh.
[Red Team Expert] Kate Shrilly Trilly Bliss, yup she's posh.
[Blue Team Expert] Posh Useless Ben Cooper, the Butlins George Michael Tribute Act
[Auctioneer] Unposh Ben Misery Rogers Jones, John Hartson's waxwork.
[Auction Location] Rogers Jones & Co Fine Art Auctioneers, Cardiff.
(Miserlin Rating: One Star)



The Teams 1:
[Red Team] Mother & Daughter, Mother is a learning disability teacher her daughter is autistic, let's hope they come good.
(Blue Team] Auntie & Niece, who are both close in age, both come across as modest, which makes a change, Auntie has knitted little blue hearts for the team. Cooper for once in your measly life, play a blinder today.

The Shopping 1:
Reds: Vintage wheel barrow (29) OK, Brass pig piggy bank (10) OK, Silver butterfly wing pendant necklace (30) fine.
Blues: Chester silver pepperette (50) struggle, Wooden cuttlery tray (17) might struggle, Silver gilt scent bottle (20) OK.

The Auction 1:
Reds: Vintage wheel barrow (loss), Brass pig piggy bank (good profit), Silver butterfly wing pendant necklace (small profit).
Trilly's BB is a Steiff tortoise, ahh nice, (14) Bargain, 20-30, Misery says we might get there, yep, it depends if the Miser's wallets can be prised open, 32, nice profit. Nice one Trilly.
Blues: Chester silver pepperette (loss), Wooden cuttlery tray (small profit), Silver gilt scent bottle (profit).
Cooper's BB is a Dillwyn Swansea pottery plate (50), a bit of damage to it, seems a bit steep, 20-30, another Cooper masterclass?, 55, squeaks a profit. That's about as good as it gets.





The Aftermath 1:
Nice profit for the Reds, well directed by Trilly. 2 squid profit for the Blues which is about the upper limit you come to expect from the Poundshop George Michael.



The Hi-Kick:
Not shown. Booooooooooooo.

The Distraction:
Uncle Eric gets to grips with Cox and also some Welsh pottery. Ceramic appreciation comes to the fore. It's actually quite interesting and worth a few minutes of your time.



The Teams 2:
[Red Team] Mother & Son Combo 1, she has just bought a small holding.
[Blue Team] Mother & Son Combo 2, she is an Am Dram director.

The Shopping 2:
Reds: Amber-style necklace (80) overspent as might not be Amber, Vintage Welsh blanket (80) OK, Wooden pine trunk (56) might struggle.
Blues: Model wooden yacht (15) good, Poole pottery vase (13) OK, Marcasite Welsh 3-feather sweetheart brooch (45) might be OK.

The Auction 2:
Reds: Amber-style necklace (big loss) not a good start, Vintage Welsh blanket (loss), Wooden pine trunk (loss)
Trilly's BB is a Double-ended silver gilt scent bottle (40), non hallmarks, yellow metal, 15-20, a Trilly mistake?, 35. A small loss. Hmmmm.
Blues: Model wooden yacht (nice profit), Poole pottery vase (nice profit), Marcasite Welsh 3-feather sweetheart brooch (small loss). Almost a GG.
Poundshop's BB is Hong Kong silver cigarette box (25), 40-50, swoon, Cooper may have sourced a bargain, 95, stone the crows, Useless comes up Trumps this one time.



The Aftermath 2:
Oh dear, The Miser's were out in force today. Sexual overtones to the fore with Trilly's Reds with the Anal Beads and Double Ender. All that was missing for the other 2 items was a little Doggy and a large Pearl necklace to finish off. Did Trilly forget her specs with the non-Amber pieces in the necklace and the lack of hallmarks on the scent bottle meant overpaying on those 2 items. Trilly head spin. On the other hand Poundshop George had a very good day with the Blues. Missing out on a Golden Gavel by 3 quid and finding a real bargain with that Oriental designed cigarette box.



The Hi-Kick 2:
Standard indoor kick. A real mixed bag. Nothing to write home about.

 

Carlos beaming with surprised pleasure, like he has just discovered that at Club Tropicana, the drinks really are free.

 

Either that or he was the purchaser of the Anal Beads.

 

2 sides of Trilly today. Good first half but appalling second.

 

"Den of Shylock"

 

Christina, Roo, and Dreamblazer on the tasty menu today. Oh yeah, and Muttley as the unwanted Semolina pudding.

Christina wearing her boots with a large rod between her thighs.

Red Bloke loves his Dinky toys and his other half loves necklace. Perhaps after a suitable exciting die-cast purchase he can indulge her whim later.

Muttley looks like he's going to pop.

Blue Bloke has Roo and his Blue Bird at hand. Lucky fella.

Dealer desperate to get rid of that Jacobite glass.

 

Roo wearing that racey lacey outfit again.

 

Snigger. Advert for the Gay Hostess.

 

What is the one item you would take home coos Christina. Hmm I wonder.

 

Bloody hell. 80 notes for a tenner pepper grinder.

 

redbloke quite sweet. obvs experienced BH watcher, as he gasped "blimey...i'd have been happy just to make one pound"

 

hoohoo, Christina just said 'knobbly'

 

Roo BB very stylish.

btw Is Christina packing extra hip and waist weight?
Slowly turning into Penny Mordaunt?

 

oh, ffs. Ukraine even encroaches onto BH.

 

Christina loves fly fishing and the warm weather

 

Lovely Roo and a heavily pregnant Muttley

 

Christina is an expression kaleidoscope.
Imagine having her at home, sat in the armchair, just as an ornament.
You'd never tire of looking at her ever-changing moods.
*wistful sigh*

 

BBC approved preamble:
Southwell 4
Bargain Hunt Series 64
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001krp5
Christina Trevanion and the teams shop for antiques in Nottinghamshire with experts Philip Serrell and Roo Irvine before heading to Bishton Hall in Staffordshire for today’s auction. Christina also learns about the author of The Compleat Angler and how his views on sustainability were ahead of his time.

The Translation:
Sothall/Southwell, lets hope it's not Sod-All for another tatfest in Notts with the always fabulous Christina. Joining her today is the ever lovely Roo and lovable rogue Muttley, the Christian Dior of the bins. He's always so up for the challenge, I dread to thing what would happen if he decided not to be arsed. Dreamblazer, The Galloping Gavellier is today's Auction endpoint so hopefully he can cast his spell and weave his magic to profits galore, no matter what tripe is served up.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Steamstress Christina Trevanion
[Red Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat, pullover de moth et gillet piq*re de puce
[Blue Team Expert] Delightful Roo Irvine, full of Eastern Promise
[Auctioneer] Charles Manson Hanson, The Phineas T Barking of the Auction World, Bring on The Clown
[Auction Location] Bishton Hall, Staffs
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Retired partners, he's into Dinky toys and she loves a necklace, perhaps the 2 can be combined later on.
(Challenge: Mechanism)
[Blue Team] Young married couple, she's easy on the eye
(Challenge: Mid 20th Century)

The Shopping:
Reds: French wooden pepper grinder (10 Challenge) guaranteed profit, Jacobite-style glass (75) OK, Antique sewing machine(60) topend.
Blues: Holmegaard Danish glass vase (75 Challenge) maybe, Czech amber art class vase (75) maybe, Edwardian 9ct gold and garnet ring (40) good.

The Distraction:
Christina learns that's nothing like a fine male specimen getting his rod out, making the tip enticing for a nibble and then plunging it into a fishy pool causing various changes of facial expression and a hearty dirty laugh as we have come to expect. After this piscine intercourse there is later discourse about the old habits of fly fishing with The Compleat Angler. The Olde England Grammar militia go into a mania of apoplexy.

​

The Auction:
Reds: French wooden pepper grinder (70 note profit), Jacobite-style glass (loss), Antique sewing machine (small loss).
Muttley's BB is an Octagonal Arts & Crafts dish (10), 20-30, 32. Decent find Muttley.



Blues: Holmegaard Danish glass vase (largish loss), Czech amber art class vase (largish loss), Edwardian 9ct gold and garnet ring (good profit)
Roo's BB is a Bird/Tulip-like glass vase (12), 10-20, 25. Nice item Roo.



The Aftermath:
Charles In Charge, Charles smelling profit blood in the air, gives a masterclass into squeezing every drop of profit in that 10 quid pepper grinder. Decent profit for Muttley's Reds mostly from that pepper grinder which went through the roof. That coupled with a decent BB meant the Reds finished with a very tidy 2 figure profit which they kindly donate to Ukranian refugees in the UK. Good on them. Blues spent far too long in actually buying something and so ended up with some very rushed buys. The classic case of dithering. Roo knows her glass, as evidenced by her quirky BB, but had to rush and overspend on a risky purchase of 2 pieces of glass which both bombed. Roo also directed them to a nice ring which made a good profit. To paraphrase Tommy Steele, My old man said follow the plan, and don't dilly dally on the way.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard outdoor kick on grass. Decent kick all-round with Blue Team slightly late but, particularly Blue Bird, with head kicks. Blue Bird and Christina give full and partial Growler kicks respectively. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Very expressive face. Conveys the emotion of fondling a large orb to perfection.

 

Great kick from the Bluebird.
And nice t-bars on Roo.

 

If only she would also stroke our sceptres....

 

That blurred photo for the Distraction was weird. This was the only view when Christina and the expert were in shot together. Reminds me of those disguised shots when a victim is interviewed after an incident.

 

ha, yes.
Court case pending?
Christina sued for being 'distressingly gorgeous' and 'causing temporary blindness'.

 

Char-eh ponders what comes first in a creampie.

Somebody says butter. Last Tango In Paris?

I sincerely hope it's not Mumbling Mary at the Auction.

Looks like someone with a tie so no. Thank God.

Jeez, Foghorn.

Better get some Art Nouveux ear protectors.

These gorgeous pussies says Foghorn.

 

Wear and tear/ damage = character

Planet--arium (South Park reference).

Oh dear 75 notes for a knackered case.

Wasn't that a bit tight, says The Fool. Before or after the butter?

 

The Auction Room looks like it's on a 1970s council estate.

He's very enthusiastic. Punchy estimates. Even Foghorn's items are OK for him.

The pendant makes an excellent profit.

WMF tastic.

Oh dear Foghorn flops.

 

Redbird is rather f*ckable but gobbily annoying.
Gah. Common combo these days.
Foghorn, wtf is that outfit/hair...looks like a near-forgotten 80s pop act going on a reunion tour.
Even Martin Fry would be dubious about that material.

Like all that deco stuff.
well merited result on the pendant

 

heh

'The Auction Room looks like it's on a 1970s council estate'

EAST Bristol, said the sign.
does any city in the world have an east that isn't a sh*thole?

Seem to recall 19th century prevailing wind/pollution is the explanation

 

Oh dear. Grim 70s Council Estate Auction Rooms. Decent Auctioneer though.

 

It's like a 1976 Sex Pistols Bum Flap turned into an outfit. Truly hideous.

 

pleasing auctioneer. not seen him before. keen and positive. has he graduated from same BH Charm School as that Wrexham ginger?

Auctionhouse whiffs of probation office/Young Offenders re-education centre.
Windows look like they are barred - bizarrely, given worthlessness of most of contents.

 

Foghorn outdoes Blue Velvet's Frank Booth in the scary stare department.