The Official Simms Uni Thread part II

I would check her first for man parts.

 

Has simms been writing to newspapers for advice?

 

I'm in for a tenner. Is that £80 now?

 

Simms, ignore the article.

The chances of you bring prosecuted for sexual harassment are none to slim. It's definitely worth the risk.

 

Just send a willy off the internet. Then you can say its obviously not yours so you can't be prosecuted. You do have to whip it out in a courtroom though so be prepared for that risk.

 

You seem to know a lot of my tricks....

 

Send her a ****pic. If the worst happens and you do end up in court, go and get a circumcision beforehand. There's no way they'd be able to link you to that photo.

 

I'm pretty sure Simms is already circumcised.

 

come on simms, this is the only thread i really come on here for

 

Almost slipped off the first page.

How are the best mates doing Simms?

 

Not much is happening really. On wednesday I walked round the local park with a friend and she almost got knocked over by a rugby ball. It was Varsity and there was thousands of Cardiff and Swansea students all over the place, most of them pissed at 2pm and singing "Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be, you're getting a **** degree, Que Sera Sera". It was weird hearing pissed girls chanting footballesc songs in high pitched voices. Cardiff til I die was another one too. We lost the main rugby match in the millenium stadium, i think over 15,000 people went to it.

 

It's getting dangerously close to the end here, Simms have you ****ed yet? If you need any motivation, opportunities become a lot harder to come by outside of the student lifestyle. We had a friend in a very, very similar position at Uni until recently, we got him incredibly drunk, did the talking for him and it worked like poetry in motion.

 

I know. Of course I haven't. That's paralyzing motivation, putting too much pressure on. But you're right, what will I do finishing uni coming back here with no friends and no job. I wish I had friends like that.

 

Has anyone ever met Simms?

I think he's having you all on. I bet he's been bashing around willy nilly!

 

It shouldn't be, if it's more a thing for you where you just want to get it out the way (that's the position he was in), let most (all) standards go out the window, it's a waiting game, you'll find most girls still at the club past 3/3.30 have no intention of going home alone. Do relatively little talking if that's not your strong point, and most important don't be scared or rejection, very often there is no need to be. Your friends at Uni not as helpful? Feel free to come to Birmingham we'll sort you out.

To be fair to to your mates, I live in in a house of 5 boys in long term relationships, we had nothing better to do with our nights out.

 

Your virginity is like pringles....

 

And how many of those pissed girls did you talk to?

 

I have never seen Simms and Batman in the same room together, thus one can only assume that Simms and Batman are the same person.

 

A few on the forum have.

I've never really managed to stay in a club past about 3. Most people I go with are usually gone by then. I have a free house for 2 weeks in the summer over my 21st. Trouble is there's no clubs in harrow. I live in a house of 1 **** and 2 guys who keep themselves to themselves and don't massively like going on nights out or drinking.

 

None, I was already with a girl.

Robin is better than batman.

 

Sorry I thought she was just a friend etc.

 

How did you end up living with people you don't get on with? Go out in Watford, although it's pretty hard to pull there unless your over 6 foot and pretty well built, sadly that's where my religion let's me down. Thank god for the Jew Corner.

 

She was.

I don't know. I get on with the quiet two, but the other one I didn't realise would be so annoying to live with. I'm not either of those things. How much is a taxi from Watford to Hatch End? Probably more than the actual night out would cost. Is there an awkward caucasian corner?

 

I wish I could do a welsh accent.

 

Picking up girls in clubs doesn't really work in my opinion. Only people I know that do are the ones that either look like male models or ones that find girls who are so drunk they don't know what they're doing. Rarely does anyone I know pick up a complete stranger and bang them. Anyone who claims to do this is probably lying/one of the Pervy guys who gets the stupidly drunk girls.

In my experiences anyway.

 

I know. Best place is house parties and things but the last house party I went to I passed out in my mates garden.

 

Picking up girls with a Welsh accent does not work.

 

I shouted drunken ramblings at Simms at reading away. He definitely hates me

 

Hmmm, not sure what to say to this but I feel like I need to say something...

 

But not anymore?!

 

Knew you'd disagree haha...

 

We can take some money out of the simms hooker fund for your taxi?

 

I forgot about that. That was when I was with domthehornet and daft row. You almost knocked me over jumping on me in the rookery once, rubbing my head. I'd meet you for a drink if you offered. Maybe dinner, some wine see where things lead...

Still is. Shes the 26 yr old former flatmate with a new bf.

It should be a justgiving cause.

 

I really want to convince you that...

A) you can pick up birds in clubs
B) you can do it without being a bell about it
C) you don't need to ply them with drinks all night
D) you don't have to be a perv

Unfortunately, I can't give you any personal experiences where I'm not in breach of at least one of the above, although B and D tend to go hand in hand, especially when your opening line is "do you have a webcam?".