Your Ideal Season Finale

There will plenty of time for other stuff next season when we join the boredom of the Premier League.

 

It's just an odd one. I feel less passionate about football these days, yet I can't get Watford out of my head, given our situation and how close we are to the Premier League. The top tier has lots of drawbacks, but it'd be good to test ourselves against some new opponents for a change. I take it you're not very enthusiastic about us potentially getting promoted?

 

Win tomorrow playing with some proper verve and finesse. A team goal as good as the Huddersfield one and a screamer in the second half around 65 so the final half hour is a proper celebration. Norwich and Borough **** up and we are promoted in Brighton, cue huge party.

Wednesday at home we need a win to take the title. Muff are winning their game early doors and we are struggling to get the goal. Finally we make the breakthrough late. Doyley comes on as a sub, we win a pen in front of the rookery and he buries it in the top corner to make it two nil, title is ours and he and jumps into the fans.

Another massive party

 

"Here's Deeney.... DOOOOYLEEY!"

 

`trouble` the ducks?
Are you from Hull ?

 

Kind of the same to be honest, mate. I don't care about football so much nowadays, but Watford's in my blood - you can't just switch off, particularly when there is so much positivity and hope surrounding the club.

I was partly joking about the boredom thing, but there will be plenty to get fed up about in the Premier League for sure.

But I want success for the club, so I definitely do want us to get promoted.

 

Last minute 0-0 Gomes throws the ball long, the wind takes it and swoops directly into the oppo goal or maybe a bounce or too. Deeney picks the ball out of the net and swiftly boots the ball out of Hertfordshire. Game kicks off eventually, after hurrying all of the fans off the pitch, and the whistle immediately blows.

 

A 2-1 win over Sheffield Wednesday and I end up face-down in the Pond in Watford High Street. I eventually show up at home the following Wednesday with only one shoe.

 

If we're really talking ideal then we'll be promoted, I'll get ratarsed and when I wake up the next day the wife will have lost 2 stone and look about twenty years younger.

 

We are 2-0 up with 16mins left on the clock, Lloydinnio comes on as sub goes straight up for a corner and scores with a powerful header, the stadium erupts and we spend the last 15 mins chanting & celebrating, that we are the champions as that 3rd goal will finally relax us!!!

 

My ideal schedule...

Tomorrow. Beat Brighton. Boro & Narch lose. Big party.

Monday. Muff lose. Fall about laughing

Next Saturday. Beat Wednesday. Muff & Narch lose. Boro win to clinch 2nd place. Fall about laughing. Big party.



(Epilogue - Bentford Nylons win the playoffs)

 

I don't think people are getting the question. How do you want promotion? So if we don't get promotion tomorrow, we don't have a game like Leeds. We get a game like Leicester.

I missed Leicester so I just want a mental pitch invasion.

 

we do get the question

 

i am looking forward to eating a large dollop of humble pie and apologising to Joka...don't care if that's after the Brighton or Wednesday game

 

Not sure my nerves could take it but we get promoted courtesy of an absolutely shocking penalty decision given to Charlton in the last seconds of the game. The Vic goes mental with 20000 singing "Are you watching Luton Town"
No idea why but you can't beat goals from other important games filtering round to everybody in the ground

 

I like this idea. Let me expand.

We beat Brighton. But inexplicably get slaughtered 6-0 by Sheffield Wednesday. Every Watford fan is stunned. People are beside themselves with disbelief. You could hear a pin drop inside the Vic.

But then everyone else collapses. Norwich and Boro throw away leads and lose to late goals. Bournemouth are cruising at 2-0 with ten minutes to go. Charlton, with nothing to play for decide to turn it on and start attacking. Bournemouth COMPLETELY bottle it and ship 4 goals.

As the news filters through, mass celebrations at the Vic. Four individuals need oxygen from St John's Ambulance.

Charlton songs ring around Vicarage Road for a whole hour.

 

After an epic sea battle off the Dorset coast the combined forces of AFC Aqualung, the wastes of Mordor in the north and the Land of Limited Surnames are defeated. As the wrack begins to clear the Admiral Lord Joka commands the flag of victory be hoisted and a strange, mythical, Moose-like creature in red on a black and yellow background is hauled slowly to the apex of the main mast and flutters in the stiff southwesterly breeze.

"Now Austin", Admiral Joka commands the first mate, "prepare the following signal - Watford Victorious Champions". Captain Deeney, of the good ship WFC Rookery, observes the signal and celebrates by turning his guns upon the shore and blowing up the pier.

 

If we win tomorrow and are 4 nil up against Wednesday, will Joka bring on Doyley?

 

Only if he's on the bench.

 

Please let there be a comfortable Watford win tomorrow followed by points dropped by Naarcchh, and Boro. Then Jeff Stelling can tell the world on soccer saturday that we are effectively promoted whilst looking like a bulldog licking the p*ss off a thistle. One big F off to you Hartlepool w*nker! Oh yeah back on topic would love to see Layun score the goal that wins us the title next saturday whilst I leap around like a proper Joey, and maybe have far far to much to drink in celebration and wander home to a disgruntled mrs w4bs sometime on sunday/monday.

 

Close enough!

 

One year ago next weekend we all left the Vic totally dis-spirited, having just witnessed one of the most abject, soulless displays for years. We went on holiday fearing for the future, little confidence in the Head Coach to turn things around.

Now, 12 months on, we can leave there again seeing our side crowned champions of the division for the first time ever. We can go off on our holidays looking forward to life in the Premier League.

Wow!