The Offical Simms Uni Thread

Scrap that, I've found the one for me. Real Ale Society. Where do I sign up?

 

No. I think its just an excuse for fat people to go on nights out together and to fein some personality.

There is a pole dancing society my flatmate almost joined up but she has a bad back.

 

If you want to get with girls then go to clubs that play the sh*ttest music imaginable.

 

I see. Check my earlier post. There are a few links on there.

 

Join the christian union. They have a ratio of about 4-1 girls to boys, and half of them have no morals. Plus they do loads of free meals.

 

Is that a price worth paying?

I'd not want to be ostracized for not speaking a word of italian or spanish. Also I have no interest in snowsports at all. you really dont see that as a problem to join the snowsports society?

 

Last year my flatmate was in the CU and he organized pub quizes and things, and I went to one and it is full of fit girls but they're all no sex before marriage and things, and you have to sit through a mind numblingly idiotic speach about how a girl had a sore throat and anxiety problems and one day a neighbor told her to pray so she did on the off chance and magically the next day she was better after having a dream about God. I sat there thinking this is a textbook case of the placebo effect and an episode of sleep paralysis. Not sure i could bring myself to sit through such nonsense again. Also morally the CU are hideous.

 

You know what, that's not a bad shout actually. Simms - you should check this out.

Fair enough. If I were you, I'd go along to one of their socials anyway. See what they are like and if they are any fun. If they are anything like the society at my uni, you will have the best Wednesday nights of your life!

You could just be honest though. If they ask, maybe tell them you aren't specifically interested on going on the ski trip, but you'd like to meet more people at university nonetheless. That's an honest and very fair answer in my opinion.

 

I remember once being in the SU pub and seeing the spanish society watching el classico drinking.

Also if im ever on a night out with them their foreign accents would attract girls just like that french **** who ruined my chance slast time i went out.

Would people not pity you for being lonely and assume theres something wrong with you that you needed to join and therefore put them off?

 

I'm going out to dinner tonight with the guy i met who is from northwood.

 

It sounds good, but the Real Ale Society I know where all overweight, older students who wore Gothic-esque black t-shirts and didn't have much to say other than dull atheist assertions.

SIMMS as for the snowboarders society - they are hardcore, I went to one of their socials and they got banned from the pub, I had never seen anything like it in a pub. However, once I got to know a few of them they were very interesting and I never did snowboarding. The advice about societies is true, they are a great way of meeting people, but choose one you're interested in rather than the best girl to boy ratio because they're going to think you're pretty dull if you don't have the same interests.

 

Yeh I know 1 person in the ale one and he's a mature student with a big ginger beared that goes down to his nips.

There are no societies im interested in though.

 

If the foreign blokes attract the Cardiff blokes with their accents, then that leaves the girls for you?

I wouldn't. I think it's perfectly acceptable to join a society to meet other people. Apart from having a big interest in snowsports myself, that's why I joined the society at my uni. Just say you want to meet more people outside of your coursemates and flatmates/housemates.

True. We absolutely destroyed Wednesday nights last year. Skiers and boarders are up there with rugby when it comes to drinking.

 

Just had a phone call from Nando's where I applied, they loved my application and phone interview then all the shifts they wanted me to work clashed with my timetable. Don't really know how to feel about it tbh, just furstrated!

 

Attract girls I said meaning there would be none left.

I think I would be naturally suspicious.

Not necessarily more people outside of coursemates just increase my general turnover of meeting girls rather then go out of my way to do it do it specifically to meet people.

 

Simms all the girls in the CU society who are there and attractive are there because they probably went off the rails and have now seen the light. They probably had to have their stomach pumped at some point and enjoyed a good ******* but are now trying to be a better person through the good old JC. Get in there now and enlighten them that they can't redeem themselves and they might as well just accept that they are ****s. The CU girls were a good source whilst at Uni. Don't join the Catholic society though as I never trust the withdrawal method personally

What about hockey, can you play that? I always found hockey girls to be the worst, with loose morals and even looser you know what. They are a great source of fun and they tend to posh girls on top which means they were broken in nice and early from all the horse riding and learnt mucky stuff in the stables. Also a nice hockey is likely to take charge and show you the ropes.

How tall are you? If you are a relatively tall fellow, try Japanese. They like big fellows, another good source and like the 'hipster' style fashion as well, Right up your street.

I see you as a bit of a Harry Potter society person. Perhaps you could join that and learn to play Quidditch? Then again. I have a feeling the film possibly made you cry when you were a kid, perhaps not the best idea!

 

When I went last year to the pub quiz they weren't like that at all. And I don't think i could morally bring myself to support such a society financially.

No I hate hockey. Remember getting my shins smashed in my a chav in high school who swung it above his shoulder and almost took my head off. And one time in football i thought **** it and tackled him hard and almost broke his leg and he was on the verge of tears and threatened to beat me up. Good times.

I'm 5"11. Not attracted to japanese people really and I think theres lots of nerds there who like anime and manga and those japanesey geeky style things.. There isn't a hipster society unfortunately :/

I hate harry potty. I remember in year 2 i won a contest dressing up as willy wonka and won a book token I used to buy harry potter. But I hate it so no.

 

Are you too indie for Harry Potter?

 

Not to worry them Simms. I think you will have to face up to things and that a life of internet pornography and masturbation will be most likely. At least you have the internet, us oldies had to put up with old crusty, stuck together copies of Razzle and Mayfair that had been dumped in bushes by dirty old men.

I honestly think the day you pop your cherry will be a greater event on here than us winning promotion!

 

Ah hedge porn. Is it just me or does everyone have a moment in their early teens when they found a bit of hedge porn on the way to school? I certainly did. Rarely see it around anymore though.

Hah!

 

Bloody love this thread.

 

I've never seen hedge porn!? Is that what spring watch is like? I've always wondered why people watch that.

 

What is hedge porn?

 

Yes, WTF is hedge porn?

 

If you have never seen hedge porn, you have missed out.

 

Forgot to say about the amount of times the security pick on me at SU, I'm the tallest of my group of mates and most people so when anything happens at all they just grap me straight away thinking I'm a trouble maker, such as the time when I grabbed someone away from someone who started on my friend and he tried to chuck me out for inciting him and threatening him despite trying to stop a fight kicking off. 'Bouncers' are ****ing rubbish

 

My mate got banned from all clubs that scan ID in portsmouth for taking a fosters can into a club because of one bouncer. How harsh is that!

 

I usually get on fine with most bouncers but at the SU they're just short bald blokes in high vis jackets who have gone crazy with power. Hate being the tallest in the group means they spot me from a ****ing mile off

 

My wife thought I was making it up when I told her about hedge porn.

That glimmer of glossy pages in the sunlight and the hope that it inspires. Don't get too hopeful though, it could easily be a discarded Hello magazine or the You supplement from the Mail on Sunday, scant maturbation material in those. It could be a Kays Catalogue though. Underwear pages with enough see through bras showing areolae and even a shadow of bush. You approach with baited breath and see some skin! Jackpot you think, but hold yourself back, for fear it's just swimwear or worse still, a man. But no! It's there! A near mint copy of Club! Jenny is dressed in wedding gear (and undressing it), Suzi is going on army manouvres and has camouflage paint all over her skin, Becci and Honey are playing with water and each other! It's ****topia! What's more, there are only 2 pages stuck together and neither are "money shot" material. The previous owner was a great gentleman to leave such a treasure so that you could find it.

You promise the gods of the hedge that you will treasure this article. You will enjoy 100 ****s and then, as honour decrees, you will replace it in some other bush for some other lucky adolescent to share. And the world keeps turning.

 

**** it simms ill come to cardiff

if you can go out with men so easily then why do u have a problem talking to girls? forget u wanna **** them for a second and forget how hot they may be and just think to yourself shes a friend so you can talk to her normally. if you convince yourself every girl you meet in 100% a friend you'll be impressing them in no time and they will probably fancy you before you remember how hot they are

 

I've just finished 4 years at university and I've never had any problems with bouncers. I've always been the tallest of my friends (6"5). It must be something about you!

 

Literally don't even understand, my friend gets started on so I stand in his way and get the guy starting on him away and they threaten to ban me for the year...makes sense

 

One of the most beautiful and awe inspiring posts this site has ever seen. Magical.

 

A man is not a man until he experiences hedge porn.

Not as common now a days but you still get some mainly in alleys and things.

Post of the year? :sign15:

Do it bro! I dont have a problem talking to girls once im in, its just the transition of getting from a stranger to talking to them.

Good advice thanks. So friend-zone them before they get a chance to friend-zone you into oblivion!