Simon Cowell Is A

What a waste of a shirt.

Felt sorry for those lads last night, it's half time, it's bloody freezing and we are 3-0 down.....nobody was in the least bit interested.

 

The printing on the shirt was finished shortly after this photo was taken. It now reads Cowell 1 big ****

 

Truly this is the end of days.

 

No one else knows what you're talking about

 

Simon couldn't understand the huge cheers from outside.

 

The red coat worn by the admirer sitting down was obviously manufactured by the same people who made our bathroom rug 'n' toilet set.

 

You've got a carpet on the lid?

 

No, just the mat and the thing that goes around the base of the throne.

Those lid covers aren't for the likes of us. They're only for proper toffs.

 

Well......Just so long as you know your place.

 

Probably better than Gray

 

Music is dead.

 

As much as it pains me to say it, he is a local to Watford having been brought up in Elstree.

His first job was apparently working on as a runner on Stanley Kubrick's The Shining. One of his tasks was to polish the "Here's Johnny" axe. This is the one and only thing ive ever found interesting about Simon Cowell.

 

They're not even watching the game! T0ssers!!

 

So he is responsible for those four lads and the odd noise they produced on Tuesday.
That explains quite a lot.
Ranieri asked Andrea Bocelli to perform Nessun Dorma and somehow we were given this.
Oh well!

 

I'm not sure that the 20,000 or so miserable old bast@rds in Vicarage Road on Tuesday really represented those lads' target market so they probably shouldn't be too downhearted by the total lack of interest/open hostility that their performance generated. That said, they were sh!te

 

Have you got a lady doll cover thingy for your toilet roll?

 

I would rather listen to nails down a blackboard than to listen to Bocelli. Like Alfie Boe, Katherine Jenkins, Russell Watson, the most overrated "classical" singer around. Sadly all are millionaires.....

 

Gotta say, neither Cowell nor ITV nor the band give a **** how appropriate they were or how they were actually received, it's purely a PR exercise that's filmed for the VT segment of the semi-final or final or whatever is it to contribute to their narrative as hometown boys on the cusp of stardom.

Entirely coincidental that SC also happens to have grown up around here, and possibly be in some way a Watford sympathiser, although on a personal level I do find it kind of enjoyable as an addition to a list of celeb fans. We have few by comparison to most other teams, but the ones that we do, instead of the likes of Palace's Nigel Farage and Neil Morrissey, include one of the Spice Girls, one of the most famous and successful musical artists of all time as our life chairman etc, and now apparently one of Time's 100 most influential people in the world. Not to forget the CEO of Mcdonalds. We're taking over.

 

The pisss catcher. That’s all it’s good for unless all men in the house do ‘lady wees’

Proper toffs fold the end of the toilet roll into a triangle, I beleive this has been covered previously on these forums.

 

Got one of the lady doll thingy's but I don't cover it with toilet roll, might clean it out with it every now and again.

 

Stop your feet getting cold on a tiled floor when pinching a loaf, unless you are posh enough to have underfloor heating in the khazi, times moved on I think proper toffs prefer a moist wipe these days. Moist, great word. Wipes are terrible for the drains though.

 

Sarah Brightman.

Berko girl.

Anyone recall Hot Gossip?

Now massive classical-style singer.

 

Exactly what kind of lady doll is under discussion?

 

Sphagnum moss. Moist. Al fresco. Lovely ...

 

Don’t forget Bradley Walsh.

 

He follows The Arse, doesn’t he?

 

An ex-squeeze of mine was part of the horticulture team at Windsor Castle. She actually had a sphagnum moss "carpet" (fnarrr, fanaar!) in her bathroom. It was a really odd, comforting(?), feeling to step out of the shower onto it.

 

Possibly so but oh never mind!
I don't want to prolong such talk of that buffoon and his meal tickets.
Reminds me of Peter Sellers,Cyril Rumbold/Twit Conway and Nancy Lisbon!

 

Yes, saw them at Bailey's, 1984 I think.