[REPORTED] Samuel Kalu

Discussion in 'The Transfer List' started by Hogg-DEENEY!!!, Aug 19, 2022.

  1. Carpster

    Carpster Squad Player

    By us mainly but his former clubs too if true
     
  2. Teide1

    Teide1 Squad Player

  3. WatfordTalk

    WatfordTalk First Team

    How so if it's never been proven?
     
  4. Carpster

    Carpster Squad Player

    That's why I said if true.
     
  5. WatfordTalk

    WatfordTalk First Team

    Um...no you didn't

     
  6. wingco

    wingco Reservist

    So a player that bases his game on pace waited till his mid 20's to play professional football?
     
  7. Carpster

    Carpster Squad Player

    Ok you win :eek:
     
  8. Moosegasm

    Moosegasm Reservist

    Best way to check someone's age is ask them what their favourite tv shows were when they were a kid. I got rumbled with thst one on a date a few years ago. I had no clue about the shows she was talking about!
     
    CaveManHornet and Hogg-DEENEY!!! like this.
  9. Hogg-DEENEY!!!

    Hogg-DEENEY!!! Squad Player

    'Oi, Samuel, ever heard of Postman Pat?'
     
  10. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

    People used to complain that "The Flowerpot Men " affected children's speech and language.

    It never did me any schobalob,flobalob.
     
  11. Moosegasm

    Moosegasm Reservist

    Yeah Samuel, you know that song postman pat and his black and white cat? what were the words again?....oh u know them? You bought the single after u left high school? riiiiiiight.........
     
  12. Moosegasm

    Moosegasm Reservist

    The one I never got was The Flumps. WTF was that all about? I never had a clue. I think Id go as far as to say Id sleep with any girl who could make me understand and appreciate The Flumps from a purely intellectual perspective.
     
    Happy bunny likes this.
  13. Burnsy

    Burnsy First Team

    Always relating it to sleeping with women (or ‘girls’). Bizarre.
     
    Chumlax and Robert Peel like this.
  14. Smudger

    Smudger Messi's Mad Coach Staff Member

    MRI was introduced by FIFA to combat age cheating particularly from CAF teams in the u17 tournament. But after that age it's not as accurate allowing late bloomers to falsify certificates.

    With Fuxbury and Gino's bum chum Mogi at the wheel I hardly suspect due diligence has been done and that attempt at humour picturing Kalu in the OAP's home may be truer than we suspected. And once again funds squandered.
     
  15. folkestone orn

    folkestone orn Squad Player

    Our very own version of Jay from the Inbetweeners?
     
  16. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    I think it might explain the somewhat senile looking posts on here to be honest.
     
  17. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    You need to get out more Henry.
     
  18. lowerrous

    lowerrous First Team

    Who's Henry?!
     
  19. I Blame Pozzo

    I Blame Pozzo First Team

    After Henry?
    Prunella Scales I think.
     
  20. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    Portable phones? Don't you trip over the wires when you go out?
     
  21. lowerrous

    lowerrous First Team

    Never heard of the show before, but given that the character of Henry was dead in it I can't envisage how that line would have possibly been in the script?
     
  22. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

    Or maybe someone more sinister.
     
  23. Smudger

    Smudger Messi's Mad Coach Staff Member

    You'd think the smug sanctimony that emanates from LR and WT means they must be related.
     
  24. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

    I thought they might both be from @wfcmoog's account farm (and some of his best work), but I don't think he'd have to enough hours in the day to churn out all that condescending, self satisfied, sitcom character style drivel.
     
    Smudger, wfcmoog and folkestone orn like this.
  25. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    Head canon established.
     
  26. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Can we stuff this walking cadaver into a Pedro shirt and bundle him into a taxi to Newcastle?
     
  27. WatfordTalk

    WatfordTalk First Team

    Blimey, a post where you haven't mocked up a cringey image of Gino, or invented an embarrassing nickname for Duxbury? Are you feeling okay, you absolute oddball?
     
    lowerrous likes this.
  28. WatfordTalk

    WatfordTalk First Team

    Who are you, pr1ck?
     
  29. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

    0_JS256264453.jpg
     
  30. AndrewH63

    AndrewH63 Reservist

    It didn’t work with in the Sarr shirt to Aston Villa. The poor old fella fell asleep on the bus and missed the medical.
     
  31. WatfordTalk

    WatfordTalk First Team

  32. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    Can we please keep this thread on track - stick to debating the issue, please, and let’s keep the character bashing out before the thread derails completely. Thanks.
     
  33. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Absolutely, this thread is here to enable us to bash Kalu's character and question his whole life story, not each other.
     
  34. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

    Back on topic - Kalu’s age is a higher number than Moeesgasms body count.
     
  35. folkestone orn

    folkestone orn Squad Player

    So he may only be 16 years old?
     
    a19tgg likes this.

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