Covid-19 Virus

Me too, working from home from Monday. I may be able to increase my time on this forum from 5 hrs a day to 6 hrs a day. In advance, "I'm sorry".

 

Real Madrid share training facilities with a basketball team, where someone has tested positive. As a result La Liga is suspended for two weeks.

 

Gotta love Klopp.
https://twitter.com/tsf_podcast/status/1237835188144611330

 

He also has golf courses in Scotland and Ireland.

 

Tony Bennett has tested positive for Crooner Virus.

 

Ireland is in a semi shut down as and from tomorrow. Schools, creches and universities closed, public gatherings and church services curtailed, employers encouraged to allow remote access working.

 

The mass of racing fans from Ireland returning from Cheltenham are going to make the ferry crossings interesting after tomorrow.

 

I can’t see anything about universities, are you sure? The statement mentions “colleges”.

 

Jonathan Pie:
Predicted #CobraMeeting update: Boris assures the UK safety measures have ‘stepped up a level’ and that government leaflets are already being printed containing the entire lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody for people to wash their hands to.

 

Members of Queen will be rubbing their hands together with glee at the increase in royalties.

edit: there's at least 3 puns in that for you.

 

Out of interest how are the old men in silly hats that represent the various religions spinning this? Working in mysterious ways and it's a "test" are the usual ones they use.

 

We are leasing a 100 acre field outside Cheltenham and erecting deer proof fencing around the perimeter to act as a holding facility for these selfish, drunken, gambling louts attempting to return from an event that should have been cancelled. The period of detention has yet to be confirmed, but they are talking about a 2 to 3 month minimum period.

 

I am a member of a group for Greeks on social media. I've already been excommunicated by the Bishop of Limassol and am currently engaging in a slanging match with some born again nutter, who suggests that the blood of Christ will protect against the virus, just like it did in the book of Exodus, when it protected the first born of the Jews in Egypt.

The controversy is around the taking of communion, which in a Greek church involves the Host and the blood of Christ being given to the faithful from a common spoon (the greeks all also are big on kissing icons of the Saints, which is another obvious method of transmission).

The official position of the Greek Orthodox Synod is that the blood of christ is holy and cannot therefore pass on the virus. In fact, by taking communion, christians are receiving God's protection against the virus.

 

And there, in a nutshell, is just how stupid, ignorant, controlling and ridiculous religion is.

Are you very Greek? I always assumed you looked a bit like GT based on your avatar.

 

Here, enjoy this.

I'm fairly Greek. Greeker than Holebas but not as Greek as Karnezis.

 

Virus latest;
The Devil 1 God 0.

 

Now I am not a theologian, but, err, old testament / jeebus???

 

Holy sh*t...

 

Where are you supposed to get the blood of Christ from? Everyone's panic bought it.

My gran is Armenian and her sister was married to a Greek from Athens, who smoked a pipe, drank like a fish and shagged half of California behind her back. He was a very entertaining man from what I remember.

 

You should join the group. Armenians are welcome because of their mutual hatred of Turkey.

 

Does this mean we have to sacrifice Holebas ? Tough gig....

 

Government four stage strategy unveiled.

 

As I predicted, government announces barely any new measures and makes no recommendations about cancelling sporting events or closing schools etc at the moment. We're 4 weeks behind Italy apparently, so they're saving the big ticket responses for nearer then.

 

Make sure you stand 2 metres away from me, UEA.

 

I was in Tesco at lunchtime getting some aqueous lubricant (Ouzo flavoured) for "A Friend". The cashier complained that "...we're taking Xmas level money but without Xmas levels of staff..."

 

It's been said before that if we did a lock down too early, people would get bored and restless before the peak time.

 

I'll accept small gifts from you, then - but nothing too elaborate

 

So what exactly is a 'new, continuous cough'? How new is new? By continuous do they mean persistent, or is it each coughing fit is prolonged?

I've had a persistent cough for the past couple of weeks and have no idea whether that's still classed as 'new' or not?! Please don't tell me I have to go to work tomorrow...

 

All I can think about is Derek & Clive’s ‘Coughing contest’ sketch.

 

You c**t.

 

‘Ello, c**t.