[NOT HAPPENING] Bernard

We are one of four Premier League clubs who are apparently interested in Brazilian winger Bernard, who is available on a free having left Shakhtar Donetsk.

https://twitter.com/brunoandrd/status/1023224994170658816

Translated:

"Chelsea, Everton, West Ham, Watford... Several are the options for Bernard in the Premier League. Kia Joorbachian has morals in all of them. Before, however, the Iranian agent wants to solve other businesses to, then yes, choose the best destination for the Brazilian. Window Closes Day 9"


We've already signed a Ken, makes sense that we sign a Bernard too I suppose.

 

Nursie!

 

Brilliant in Westworld, its a yes from me.

 

Kia Joorbachian and Scott Duxbury have an established business relationship too...

 

A bit more info:

- Scored 10 in 29 games (all comps.) with 3 assists last season, playing pretty much exclusively as a left winger
- Stands at the mighty height of 5' 5"
- Netted against Man City in the Champions League last season in a 2-1 win
- Chelsea are hot favourites to sign him, thus leaving us no chance and I've got no idea why I'm bothering really

 

We will need to sign a Matthews to play alongside him up front.

 

I like the fact the agent picks his new club and player seemingly has no input.

 

That would be bootfull.

 

Does Kia really have morals?

 

Keeping up with the Joorbachians

 

You could call it that. 7 year warrantee

 

Brazilian Don Cowie

 

More chance of Bernard Breslaw turning out for us.

 

Does he have Holebas on his books?

 

He's a football agent so I doubt they are required.

 

Self-driving cars aren't that advanced yet.

 

That would be some payment to the agent to get this sorted.

 

A Bernard fits well with the Pozzo model which has already attracted a Kenneth this summer.

 

5'5"

The Brazilian Anthony MacNamee

 

Brazilians always used to be called cool sounding names like 'Jairzinho', 'Zico' or 'Socrates'. Now they called 'Fred', or 'Malcolm' or 'Bernard'.

Was there a phase 20 odd years ago when 'UK Gold' was the only cable channel in Brazil?

 

I'm laughing in a Sid James style!

 

Named after Bernie Winters, surely?

Dead, so already fitter than most of the current ‘group’.

 

All these old names become trendy. The next one will be Nigel (no babies named Nigel in the UK in 2017...none), the next Brian, the next Clive -)).....etc

 

Was the WFC medical team implicated ?

 

Nigel will only return in some poncified form, pronounced Neejell or something. I'm already making plans for it.

 

Senses working overtime tonight, @Moose?

 

Generals & majors aha ?

 

I liked the historical period, with Julio Cesar and Bismarck. Pity that Hitler and Stalin never got called up.

But why is the new Liverpool keeper always referred to by his girls' first name when he has "A Becker" on the back of his shirt?

 

Because it is funny maybe?

 

He's no saint, but at least we can be sure he won't make a dog's breakfast of things.

 

Ha, I have always wondered with a number of these latin types, most have a female name in amongst their actual 17 birth names somewhere, assume it's a bit of an opposite skandi thing with the fathers name, yet to be cool always known as only one name.

I wonder with the Brazilians resorting to call centre names, Fred, Malcom, Bernard etc.... if they like the UK are reverting back to more traditional names like Harry and George rather than fancy dan Colin, Kevin, and Gary over times gone by, just doesn't sit right though if you have a Brazilian player he needs a cool name.

 

Far too clever for this forum.