War Against Christmas - Recruits Needed

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Sep 25, 2021.

  1. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Hornets and Hornettas will be only too well aware of my tireless efforts to radicalise the WFC supporter base.

    With Christmas produce already appearing in the shops, I'd like to recruit some converts to join the annual effort to BAN the celebration, which is always given such exhaustive coverage by our national press. Brexmas means Brexmas! We need to go cold turkey!

    We can't have some foreigner flying in here with his strange robes and long beard, without even a visa, completely unchecked.

    BAN the lot of it I say! Offensive to minorities. Chopping down trees which are needed to combat climate change. Plastic waste galore.

    BAN advent calendars. Instead we should only allow Ramadan calendars, which have nothing behind each door. BAN Christmas songs, especially those played over loudspeakers in shops. BAN Christmas films, most especially those prominently featuring pudgy, squeaky USA children - let's face it, ONLY other USA people think USA children are 'cute'.

    BAN the lot of it. Who's with me?
    Moose likes this.
  2. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    I’m well up for banning the bits I don’t like, but have to confess I like quite a lot of the rest of it.

    So ban,

    Mass Turkey slaughter,
    Songs played at Xmas, as Xmas songs, that are only tangentially related to Xmas, like Stay another day
    Warm wet weather
    Xmas poverty
    Awful Xmas versions of TV shows
    People showing off at Xmas with their wonderful families, exhaustive preparations, perfect Good Housekeeping/Kirstie Allsopp type smugness.

    I can think of more I’m sure.
    Happy bunny likes this.
  3. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    It was a Xmas No.1. See also the Flying Pickets.
    It’s the fact it is dark for c.18 hours that bugs me.
  4. Rvjgd

    Rvjgd Academy Graduate

    Stay another day is the best christmas song
  5. MIlton Dammers

    MIlton Dammers Reservist

    The whole Christmas thing drives me mad, but there ain’t no sanity clause
    Happy bunny likes this.
  6. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Apart from the poverty part, I like all those things.
    miked2006 and Moose like this.
  7. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Bwood_Horn and Moose like this.
  8. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Ok, I’m going to let you know, without any shadow of a doubt, that it’s not.

    It’s a maudlin warble that is only Xmassy through the gratuitous addition of a few sleigh bells.
  9. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Ok. See also Bohemian Rhapsody and the Hamster Song.

    If you have a point, please make it. :)
  10. a19tgg

    a19tgg Squad Player

    I like xmas but only from December 1st. All talk of it should be banned before that date, including this thread.

    I did actually see an Xmas advert on TV the other day, it was self aware in that some of the people in it were celebrating Xmas early to the surprise of the other people in the advert. Clearly the only way they thought they could even attempt to get away with it so early.
  11. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    As you say, it has bells in it. It was clearly aimed at the Christmas charts. Bohemian Rhapsody wasn’t (sfaik) and is an infinitely superior piece of work, justifying year-round airplay. Would you rather East 17 got the same treatment? At least you only have to put up with it for a month or so.
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2021
  12. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    No, I simply feel it and the band should be nuked from orbit. Is that so wrong?
  13. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    I quite like it.

    There’s been far worse Xmas No.1s.
    HappyHornet24 likes this.
  14. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    No 1 at Xmas doesn’t make it a Xmas song.

    By that measure ‘Rubber Bullets’ by 10cc is a Ramadan song, because it was number one in 1973 during Ramadan.
  15. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    No, the bells make it a Christmas(sy) song.
  16. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Much the same as Jonah Louie's anti-war anthem (originally).

    Isn't that E17 song about the death of his brother (the bells were supposed to be suggestive of the burial)?
  17. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    Yes, the JL was a hit in France in the preceding summer but does of course contain the line “Wish I was at home for Christmas”.

    I think you are right about the E17 although it must be said the bells sound more celebratory than mournful.
  18. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    So Holiday in Cambodia could be a ‘Xmas song’ with a few sleigh bells?
  19. HeiaWatford

    HeiaWatford First Year Pro

    We've got a Christmas shop open all year round where I live. Anyways the best song over Christmas for me was the Human League.
    Keighley likes this.
  20. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    Hurrah! Absolutely. Three and a bit weeks is plenty long enough to prepare for a one or two-day celebration.
  21. HeiaWatford

    HeiaWatford First Year Pro

    A celebration of what though? A fictitious character that has been instilled into us ever since we were born.
  22. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

  23. a19tgg

    a19tgg Squad Player

    I agree, I’m an atheist so have no belief or interest in the religious side of it. But, it goes beyond that doesn’t it? Father Xmas is magical for kids and part of growing up, for me it’s just something that brightens up a pretty cold miserable part of the year.
    HappyHornet24 likes this.
  24. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    A midwinter festival existed long before Christianity hijacked it and assigned 25th December as Christ’s ‘birthday’.
    La_tempesta_cielo_68 likes this.
  25. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

  26. Happy bunny

    Happy bunny Cheered up a bit

    Quoting Marx, eh? Clive will be pleased
  27. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Next you’ll be suggesting that a tuneless beery shoutathon wasn’t Neil Diamond’s intention when he wrote Sweet Caroline.
  28. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Correct. I believe the Christians first of all said that Jesus' birthday was in August, but when nobody celebrated they decided to hijack the long established pagan winter solstice festival for themselves.

    Still some hangovers from the old solstice days - holly, misteltoe, yule log etc.
  29. AndrewH63

    AndrewH63 Reservist

    As a Marxist Leninist your aim should be to raise class consciousness not to radicalise the working class to the point that they challenge the transitional phase of the dictatorship of the proletariat.

    Any knowledge of the working class would acknowledge the importance of Christmas. A pagan festival in mid winter when work ceased until plough Monday. Traditional Christmas included both father and mother Christmas. English Fairies who gave power to the rural proletariat to challenge the landed class.

    it was the landed classes who wanted to ban Christmas. Including the ultra right wing Oliver Cromwell.

    All in all Christmas is a festival of the people, based upon the traditions of the northern hemisphere festivals around the winter equinox.
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2021
  30. Christmas songs should be about Our Dear Lord. I recommend this.
    Bwood_Horn likes this.
  31. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Yeah but how did they do Amazon wishlists back then?
  32. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    Plus the Mithraism brought over here by Roman squaddies that was very popular with indigenous male populations.
  33. If Jesus was real, he would have been born around September, 25th of Dec was a roman pagan festival

    Therefore on 'xmas day' we should watch Ant and Dec hacking at each other with swords in a gladiatorial ring in the true spirit of xmas, jmho
  34. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Jesus was real, but the mystery is how he got a Mexican name.
    La_tempesta_cielo_68 likes this.
  35. Davy Crockett

    Davy Crockett Reservist

    (The) Damned if you do and Damned if you don't
    Smudger, Moose and Maninblack like this.

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