The Official Simms Uni Thread part II

My housemate use to poo on a plate during the night then leave it outside our doors.

Good times.

 

Mike88 told me theres a brothel opposite the church on a road right by where im living next year and where he used to live when he was at cardiff.

Walked passed it today, and he's right! Just a strange black shop with tinted windows all suspicious like...

 

You know you are tempted go for it :naughty::naughty::naughty:

 

I work below what used to be a brothel. I was at work the day it got raided which was quite amusing.

 

Fight the temptation of having to pay for it.... I've been Cardiff on a Saturday night, the burdz are gagging for it, they'd shag anything! Just be a c o c k y so and so and pretend your a big time...for some reason they find this attractive.

Grow a man beard, buy a top that doesn't make you look skinny, don't douse yourself in too much aftershave and be ridiculously blunt when chatting a burd up and you'll be knee deep...

 

I have to admit I've been in Cardiff city centre on a Saturday night and reckon I might even have been able to pull, and I'm fat and sixty!!!

So is this the advice you have been waiting for Simms, NG could be right?

 

Simms is a handsome chap anyway. I can say this having met him at Ipswich. He's just a Casetti beard away from greatness.

 

Why didn't you nob him?

 

It's a suprise how they get away with it for so long.

Funnily enough I am growing a beard but it's a bit patchy and hideous at the moment.

I was growing a beard but it was patchy wasn't it. If I recall correctly you had a goatee didn't you?

 

You're quite right. Your beard showed promise but on the Cassetti scale, it needs work if you want to be a chick magnet.

 

After the on-going prank war between us and another flat, they have once again been unimaginative and egged my window along with our kitchen windows and through the kitchen windows onto our walls and floors. In my eyes, egging is pathetic and unimaginative, any ideas how we can get them back?

 

Do the same, just with ostrich eggs. You'll smash the windows and get ostrich period all over their floors.

 

Just knife them. That'll teach them.

 

That's what all the kidz [sic] do these days. It must be fun.

 

Remove all of their windows and doors. You may need to think of the logistics, but i'd give them a breeze.

 

Haha, I think egging is just a really rubbish prank but seeing as they enjoy it we were thinking of putting one in their microwave if we can get in there or also maybe filling their kitchen with soil from the Garden Centre

 

If they have ceiling tiles, fish in the ceiling.

 

Depending on how much time you have cling film everything in their flat. After a while it becomes a ***** to deal with. I miss the pranks and stuff of halls I have to say...

 

Probably won't have much time, surprised we didn't get caught Argosing their flat. We were also thinking of posting them things but can't think of anything, apart from a frozen poo.

 

YOU can buy live reptile food online and have it delivered to them.

 

Bin bag a **** load of useless crap you can find that'll be an arse to move out and empty out said bin bags over their kitchen and corridor area.

Ceiling tiles is a good shout from Im_wfc...

 

Go on Freecycle, get loads of random crap for free and pub it outside their rooms. One of my friend's got a sofa from it.

 

Something I've heard is put icing sugar under their sheets on their bed so when they swear in the night they get glazed and wake up all sticky.

Also mattresses are vulnerable because if something soaks in you can't get it out so consider that.



I went to a party last night, speaking to a hot girl for about 10mins then she just says to me "You're boring" and walks off. Why are there evil people in the world...

 

Pics?

 

Were you talking about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre again?

Don't worry pal there are some callous *****es in this world. Just be glad you found out then rather than at the end of the party.

 

It was fine just asking her where she lived and what course she was doing and stuff. She was a 1st year.

She didn't even seem that drunk. She was saying how she had a shag chart in her house. She seemed ****ty enough to be the one!

 

Well at least you avoided a few STI's then mate!

 

**** that *****. Was she even interesting herself?

 

If she has a shag chart, I think it might well be up to 10 mins chat to make your move and then feck off. I would imagine she normally gets to the 'Hi, nice ti...' and then it's off we go. She was the one to break the seal with Simms!

 

Indeed

Not really she was talking about how she felt weird being mixed race in cardiff because it's mostly white people here. She was from reading.

I felt bad because I too have a shag chart except mines invisible.

Maybe I need to rethink the beard.

Also I realized im fat so im giving cooking healthy a go and going to walk for 30mins a day minimum because f**k the gym. I'm tempted to post photos of my cooking on here. What do you guys think?

 

I need to do the same Simms. Go for it.

Spent £30 in supermarket today just on healthy stuff. Gunna be a boring week food wise.

No doubt will ruin it with copious amounts of beer!

 

It's chocolate for me. I need something to replace the snacks I eat with something healthy and filling, and to drink water instead of pepsi and cut down on ready meals. That combined with just a small amount more excersize then usual should be ok. I'm not looking to get toned or a fitness freak. Good luck.