stella scandal

The other 10% are black or jews.

 

No they are illegal aliens.

 

I don't know...shockingly I've never been over the Atlantic.

 

They're the samething....

 

Not really that shocking, I went to America for the first time last year on my way to Peru, had a 12 hours stopover at Atlanta but couldn't be bothered to leave the airport, does that count as having visited the US?

Stella = BAD

 

Count it. People watching in an airport, especially Atlanta, is downhome Americana at its finest.

I wouldn't leave either, not as a non-American for less than a day. Immigration, Customs and Security would be a huge hassle eating up about 3 of those hours. Getting to and from anywhere interesting near an airport would eat up another 2+ hours. Then you have to find a place to put your bag, and you'd need wither a rental car or a taxi since US public transit sucks ass. By the time you got all that sorted, you'd want to get the back to the little cramped seat and have that styrofoam food. I say you, but I mean 'one'.

 

Is that you under there?

 

Atlanta airport is VERY VERY big

 

Would we all like a mini-blog? Well...

It's about seven o'clock, and the rays from the sun wake me, and I'm stretching and yawning, but in a bed that doesn't belong to me. Right, then a voice yells 'good morning darling' from the bathroom (en suite - swish), then she comes out and kisses me, and to my surprise she ain't my wifey. Now, it's at this point that I had this look on my face, as if I were trying to get across an expression of 'what have I done?', and I wondered how I could have been so stupid as to have laid here until the morning sun. From the pub I went to her home, and didn't plan to stay that long; but I guess I just lost track of time, I didn't know what was on my mind. ALthough that may well have happened before my previous musings.

So there I am just trying to put on my clothes, searching for my oyster card and trying to get up out the door, but then she stuck her arms in front of me, and told me that I couldn't go that way! I looked at her like she was crazy, and said, regrettably 'woman move out of my way' (I now apologise for my mysongeny). I said I got a wifey at home, she said 'please don't go out there', I said '***** I've got to go home', but then she said 'BUT MY BF'S COMING UP THE STAIRS'. She continued '****, **** quiet- hurry up and get in the closet, don't you make a sound or some **** is going down'.

I said, 'well why don't I just go out the window?' She replied, rather amusingly, 'Yeah, except for one thing... we're on the fifth floor!' ****, think, ****, think I think, before saying 'quick put me in the closet'.

So now I'm in this closet trying to figure out, how I was going to get my crazy ass up out of that house. And then, he walks in and yells that he's home, and she exclaims that she's in her room, he walks in smiling and claims to have been missing her. She then informs him that she has cooked and run a bath. Lads, I'll tell you, this bird deserved an oscar. The they start going at it on the bed, and I'm thinking 'WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?'

But things get worse. A call comes through on my mobile phone. I very quickly tried to put it on viiiibraaate. But from the way he was acting I could just tell that my actions were coming too late. He hopped up and said that there was a mystery and that he was going to solve it, and I was in there praying that he wouldn't open the closet. He walked in the bathroom and looked behind the door, she tried to coax him back to bed but he said '*****, say no more!' He looked behind the shower curtain while she was biting her nails, then he walks back into the room, and ,as you can imagine, at this point I was sweating like hell. He looked behind the dresser, he looked at the closet, and then I pulled out my beretta replica, he walked up to the closet, and, eventually, opened it.

Anyway turns out he was a reverend and a gayer. I then found out my wifey was having an affair with a bobby who has a fat wife who was getting it on with a midget. We also all turned out to have aids.

And it's all down to stella.

 

drama queen

 

ALL OF MY ORNS TO HE WHO CAN TELL ME TO WHAT MY BLOG REFERS.

Go!

 

I thought from the start of that story that it was going to be funny, but it really wasn't. The ending was terry bull.

I recognise it from somewhere, but i can't put my finger on it.

 

r.kelly would be turning in his cell bed if he could read what you did (and indeed if he had actually been convicted of paedo-nes)

 

51 orns to Fanley!

And in response to Luke, I am honoured that, at least momentarily, it was presumed that something I wrote could be funny

 

and paedo-ness is spelt with two esses, durr brain

 

And, finally, if you were after a true slaughtering of the man's work, I vaguely remember seeing a Weird AL remake of the thing, which wasn't very good

 

I think thats where i recognised the tale from.

 

This sounds like it's from Slick Rick's Lawdy Dawdy.

 

quick question, do i have beans on toast for dinner, or soup and toast?

 

Soup and toast, every time. But no stella

 

too late on the last count. does it make a difference that my only soup is oxtail?

 

NOthing wrong with oxtail, nothing at all. In fact that makes me recommend it more

 

hopefully i'll be fully loaded before the beginning of corrie. loads of soup and toast and habenero and stella and the crushing wall of silence in the house devoid of traditional and indeed human warmth

 

Why watch Corrie when you can watch a couple of slack handers buy a Place In The Sun in Cambridge?

 

because corrie is the shiznaz!

 

It's tedious to the max! Although I did notice an almost Hollyoaksian quality of female on there the other day, several in fact. I only hope that it is not an accurate representation of Manc life.

 

woaaaah! there are a fair few hotties here and if they go to man met or are local then they have the magical quality of being pretty stupid too. and as for corrie, well, to say its tedious suggests you don't watch it that much. i rate it as a top ten all time comedy for me.

 

When I had the pleasure of having my grandparents to stay for a week I was watching corrie and emmerdale every night. emmerdale was embarassing. when watching corrie you are instantly made depressed by the music. awful, awful stuff. but then there was a bird in a robe, which made it good. and david! what a mischiefous one!

 

my signature comes from a very funny scene in todays earlier episode, which is the line used just before that mischiefous(sic) david gets laid!

 

He gets 'laid' you say? I must perfect my impression of the mischievous one's stare.

 

6 bottles for a fiver in tesco down here, had me a bit of that, incidentally whilst watching corrie.

 

i went for 8 of the massive tins. cheapish, but not cheap

 

reassuringly expensive as they say.

 

and they do. they say it all the time. its what makes hobos kind of patronising.

 

Can't they just stick to special brew and let us have our own tax-free niche.