Warning: contains bed wetting, happy clapping, cheese, yawnmongers and flask references, plus the use of the word Entitled, and a desperate attempt to get more recognition for a previously posted Chesterfield pun Welcome to my neighbourhood, Hornets! We’re here, in Shepherds Bush on Sunday for the midday kickoff against a local team with whom I have ABSOLUTELY NO EMOTIONAL CONNECTION whatsoever. I visit Loftus Road when Watford are in town. I’ve been for pre season friendlies, cup games and league games. And each time it has left me thankful for the club that Watford is. (I missed last season’s fixture). I have lived here in the Bush since 1994 and have a number of memories from Loftus Rd. I saw Tommy Smith score his first professional goal at Loftus Road in the 90s, and chatted to him afterwards before he got on the coach. I think we won 1-2. It was the 2nd GT era. I also remember when Peter Crouch played for them in the early days of his career, and Watford fans, struck by his unusual height and narrowness, shouted FREAK! at him whenever he touched the ball. I was with my Derby supporting girlfriend at the time (now my wife), and she thought we were being mean. But we both laughed because he was an annoying threat, and it was important to put him off. (He won a penalty and then missed, I think). I also remember Joey Barton playing for them more recently in a preseason match, or a cup game (all I remember is that we were in the PL and they weren’t), and our fans sung to him about having embarrassing hair. He laughed, and I remember liking him for that. What is it about QPR that leaves me indifferent? Is it the coldness of the blue stadium, like the facade of a dated seaside construction emanating hopelessness? Is it the fact that I sense mutual indifference from my neighbourhood towards the local football team? Out of all the people I have known around this part of West London, I have only ever got to know one person who is passionate about QPR. And he’s now married and living in the States. I’ve left Facebook and I have no idea if his passion for the Hoops still burns. I have inadvertently converted more people into Watford fans from this area, than befriended QPR fans. They had no team to support, and didn’t really consider QPR, so I took them to see Watford. My next door neighbour, for example, has given his heart to Watford. I feel terrible about it. QPR do have fans. They come out of the woodwork and park outside my home on match days. I don’t know where said woodwork is. I see the stadium floodlights from my street, less than a mile away. I hear a roar, on the rare occasion that they score when I am at home and outside. And I see hapless hoops, trudging silently back to their car, forlorn (because other, marginally quieter, non-home crowd roars could be heard. And more of them). Only a few hours earlier they got out of their cars, with hope on their faces. They had successfully found free parking and considered it a win, and a good omen. How quickly and inevitably things change. Rivalry They have so many local rivals. Fulham and Brentford are both technically within walking distance, and currently doing much better. As is the most hated of them all, Chelsea. The big rival who have outshone them for many a year, even before the Russian money and entitled fans. Can I use the word Entitled here? Yes. It applies to Chelsea. QPR support in The Bush seems to suffer the same fate to all the big teams as a Hertfordshire team does, only perhaps more so. But they still have some animosity left for little old Watford, which is good of them. QPR is, after all, closer to Watford than Luton. They recognise that we don’t have any rivals within walking distance, and they don’t have any rivals in their own league. So here we are. Incidentally, Rangers also have no love for Luton. Something to unite us? Are QPR our allies against a greater scum? Not really. I think it just goes back to the 80s when they would have regular battles over who had the nicest plastic pitch. Identity We bemoan our own lack of identity. It’s understandable. Our football club isn’t what it once was. It will take a while for people to forget our high turnover of managers, if Gino’s pathological need to sack managers really is now under control. It was/is embarrassing. It’s given Watford an unwanted identity. But I look at QPR and I see a club that really has struggled for decades to have any identity. They have successfully whored themselves out to the highest bidder, spent some money, but not a huge amount. They even reached the promised land for a season or two. I remember they were reputedly the richest club in the country through some kind of shady partnership that involved Bernie Ecclestone and some billionaires. But it amounted to nothing. It’s a club in Shepherds Bush, but it’s named after Queens Park. All the other West London clubs are bigger, or, as in Brentford, better. Our form Anyway, here’s a question for you. What is the big link between Chesterfield in the FA Cup, and QPR in the league? Answer: this Chesterfield sofa Because I picked this sofa up from a hospitality suite at QPR football club in Loftus Road, about 5 years ago. It was advertised for free on a local website, with the suggestion that the taker can make a donation to the QPR Football in the Community Charity. I was gonna donate £100 for the leather Chesterfield, as advertised. But once I picked it up and got it home, and decided it wasn’t leather, I gave £40. That was more than generous I think. I liked the Chesterfield/banana skin idea and felt VERY witty by posting on the Chesterfield match thread. Quite frankly I was expecting a few more likes from you lot. But clearly only Ilkley made the connection, whilst the rest of you were down at the DFS New Years sale looking at non-Chesterfields. And you probably ended up buying a 3 piece suite like the one Jack Grealish bought for his mum’s bungalow. I forgive you all. But I thank Ilkley. What happened against Chesterfield? We underperformed but got lucky. Or we massively underperformed and definitely don’t deserve to be in the next round. Or we came up against a team who would have given Man City a run for their money. However you see it, you can’t deny that this post Deeney era Watford team are gradually growing some cojones. Surely we didn’t expect Chesterfield to roll over like a certain team on that opening day? Turmoil QPR are rubbish. But they have got some good players. Been flirting with relegation all season. New manager bounce: over. It’s fair to say that Gareth Ainsworth cut a frustrated figure. He didn’t last that long in the job. Shame. He did bring identity. I hear he was last seen back in Wycombe doing the open mic pub gigs. And this was him in happier times with Wycombe Wanderers. Current manager Marti Cifuentes, age 41. Spanish and suave. There’s still some bounce left. In his hair. here’s how they lined up for the last 2 league games, with 4 at the back. Ipswich 0-0 QPR, Dec 29 Cardiff 2-1 QPR Jan 1 and in the cup they threw away a 2 goal lead against Muff Here’s the squad from Saturday I notice Elias Chair missed the last two games. Armstrong looks quite good. They are even worse defending set pieces than Watford. (I think we are showing improvement here). Since Ainsworth, here’s the record, including the cup game (home in blue): D D L W W W D L L L D L L What else do you need from me? Local architecture? This is my unfinished shed built from reclaimed wood. I have talked before about the satisfaction of a project, after I wet the bed and gave up my season ticket. Sorry Moose, but I like burning wood if I can’t build with it. The neighbours don’t mind. This was back in the summer and the fire stove works brilliantly for cooking cheese, and bringing people together, amongst other things. This winter I have bought a wood burner for inside the shed. N.B. @Moose, it’s Defra approved. Pubs: official away pub is Belushi’s, opposite the Central Line station. But if you’re hanging around after the match and want some lunch, my recommendation would be to try further afield. I’ll say more in the comments. An interesting fact for you: Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks was filmed a few streets down from Loftus Road. So if you are a Python freak with long legs, then go crazy and reenact a silly walk on the junction of Thorpebank Road and Dunraven Road before or after the game. This is really for I Blame Pozzo. Final thoughts Is your glass half full or half empty? It doesn’t matter, so long as what you drink makes your blood run a healthy yellow. Finish your glass, or whatever you’ve brought with you in your flask. You can urinate down the toilet, or you can hold it in and wet your bed. Who can argue that a wet bed isn’t a warm bed at first? Oh my yellow-hearted clappers, take off your yellow tinted glasses and give your head a wobble. Now is the time to unite in the inevitable relegation battle. Or is it? It’s the second half of the season. We’re ALWAYS better in the second half of a match nowadays, so it WILL be an improved second half of the season. Strap yourselves in and listen to some yawnmongers. Because the future is bright and all yellow. final, final thoughts Bayo’s unavailable, Healey’s unfit, Raj starts. QPR want revenge from that thrashing. They have some decent players. Their newish manager is quite suave. They are desperate for points. I see a shock result: QPR 1 WFC 7 If it weren’t for the kickoff time, I would suggest a meet up for a big celebration curry at The Raj on Shepherds Bush Road, after a Raj brace in a thumping victory. But that won’t happen on a Sunday afternoon, I don’t think they’ll be open.
What gives them the right to come down from Scotland and be parachuted right into the second tier, they should start from the Isthmian League or something
Nice preview Vic. QPR 3-4 Watford QPR race into 3-0 half time lead with goals from Chair, Table and Kitchen Sink. We make a trademark second half comeback.
Especially keen on the Ministry fact. Top work. We're always rubbish against them at Loftie's Road aren't we? I'll be playing a Medley v Muswell Hill Methylated Spirits or something similar so anxious of N21 from 1pm.
Great preview and thanks for the mention and, like you, I’m surprised you didn’t get more likes for the Chesterfield banana skin visual joke. Don’t let one poor audience reaction put you off. Keep up the good work.
Great preview but why are you talking about Shephard's Bush, they play in Wimbledon don't they, that's why there's always tennis balls on the pitch isn't it...
I think you mean Ilford? They've done really well to get a Championship team at home given they play in the ESL (not that one - the Essex Senior League)
I can't imagine sitting on a second hand sofa. Christ only knows how much pssing shtting and fcking has gone on on that. You're sat there eating your microwave meal and watching EastEnders, meanwhile 20 years worth of rancid fluids are osmoting into your bloodstream. Not for me, that.
Superb preview, Vic. Several points I need to make... Our local Co-op is currently selling bottles of Taylor's Select Reserve Port @ £5.13 a bottle I can't help myself, but I drink it (in a fine crystal glass designed for Portalcoholics, obvs) like pop I hate this shower of hooped shyte ten times more than I hate the Scum. And I really, really hate the Scum. Nothing to do with geographical nearness; everything to do with personal experiences and thoughts: El Veg, and how he slagged off GT; El Veg was a media darling charlatan. I bailed out a couple of their scarfers who were being attacked post-match when I randomly happened to be at a QPR v Leeds game. The home fans were just hurrying on by, as if nothing was going on. The first home game in the season after the cheating Toffee scum beat us in the FA Cup Final. A night match. I travelled down from Sheffield to show support. Spaghetti hoop scum all over town mocking our defeat. El Veg. Let's stuff the cnuts!!! Love and Peace SCG
Lose this, I hope the manger will do the decent thing and resign. Most important away match if the season. Don’t ruin 2024 boys!
As long as our young fullbacks stop their dangerous winger Mark Lazarus banging over crosses to that Rodney Marsh fella, we should be fine. 1-2 First double of the season as we click into gear…
Amazing preview Vic and thank you for taking the time to write it all up. Some very funny verses in that and I loved the Sofa image. My main memories of QPR away (other than last season's pathetic effort) was the crazy 2-1 win where they thought they had won the game (ball didn't cross the line), we lumped it up field then scored. I do not think that is completely correct but I know it was under Boothroyd in our promotion season. Never really thought of QPR as our rivals but in the context on this season it's probably the closest to a "derby" game we are going to get until next season when that lot up the road get relegated (hopefully). Despite destroying them on day one and they have picked up a bit of form as of late, however their last three results have been losses. Never an easy game at their place, but the fact we are getting a bit too lucky at coming back very, very late in games I have no doubt they will score first - then we will be waiting till the last twenty minutes for Watford to wake up as per usual. Saying all that, I think we can nick a pont and a clean sheet. 0-0
Excellent preview and a gold medal with oak leaves for the sterling work done recruiting new hornets. I always liked Shepherd's Bush as an area. Tatty chic. One question though. What the flippety heck is that stuck to the wall of the shed? The bottoms of cut off bottles? Why?
Great preview and I feel guilty for not liking the Chesterfield sofa at the time. I used to live up that way too off Barlby Road and my local pub the Pavilion, which was normally quite good, got taken over by hooped locals on Matchdays. For some unfathomable reason I've always found that black cab drivers late at night, as well as being invariably racist, also tend to support QPR. Nice to read people's memories of past games there as they jog my own that would otherwise be lost forever in the haze of my head. I remember the crouch freak game too and the 2-1 skyla mentions although I slightly get this memory confused with a similar goal that Luther scored during an epic fa cup quarter final win at arsenal. I've always liked away days at Loftus road and appreciate the subutteo style of their ground with the closeness to the pitch. In these blessed days of wokery I do occasionally wonder how their hood can continue to be called White City given all the South Africa apartheid era connections. I hope we play poorly and go behind but come back to get a lucky win at the death which unites us all in our love of Watford and joy of good fortune.
Chief structural engineer I work with is a QPR fan who's a good bloke with questionable football club taste. As was a former colleague who was the infamous pitch invader when we drew 1-1 to Sheffield Wednesday the absolute ******* and left the company shortly after. Based on the latter I hope we get a comfortable win because I'm going to this one and we've lost every away game I've attended so far.
Tremendous preview Vic, hats off to you. But given the Python silly walk reference, it's a shame there's no footage of Peter Crouch attempting to recreate a John Cleese moment at Loftus Road!
Where are people going for a drink on Sunday before the game? No trains direct from Watford junction to Shepherds Bush so having to go via Harlesden or into Euston? Any ideas?
That's a bit round the houses. Go to Euston then hop down to Euston Square and get Circle/ H&C to Wood Lane. Or Met to Baker Street and Circle/H&C.
Our defence has been concerningly leaky of late with no clean sheets in ten games (eleven counting an FA Cup game against a non-league side, albeit one well clear at the top of the National League) after a reasonable 7 in 16 at the start. These comebacks and much improved away form (one defeat in 8 at runaway leaders Leicester) are great, but I’d like us to be solid for once and more in control throughout. QPR are the joint lowest scorers in the Championship, and if we can’t keep a clean sheet at them, we can expect to concede (often first) in every away game until the end of the season. We’ve done very well against the bottom half sides, but I suspect we’ll have trouble breaking them down to get a result if they score first, like in the same fixture last season, but at least this side has more effort and spirit.
I do not think we can sink any lower than last season's defeat at Loftus Road. Not only did we play like a bunch of strangers who just couldn't be arsed, but we gave QPR their first home win in over a year. Embarasssing doesn't even come close to it. I do agree wtih our leaky defence as of late and it is a concern, but most goals we have conceded as of late have been due to defensive howlers from players who normally are more switched on the game in front of them. Porteous still terrifies me when he's on the ball and Hoedt hasn't been his usual stable self since his wonder goal at Hull. Serrialta needs to reclaim his spot back in the line infront of Hamer but with Sema out and Keyembe, we are going to be short in the middle. Play Andrews at RB and move TDB to a #8 role and we should be alright as long as everyone clicks.
