Mental Health

Discussion in 'Yellow Pages' started by domthehornet, Oct 8, 2020.

  1. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator Staff Member

    Hello all,

    Hope you all are keeping well.

    As everyone knows we are all in a very unusual situation with COVID-19 and it's affects on day to day life.

    I would like to extend an invite to anyone who feels that they are struggling at this moment to feel free to DM if they want a chat. It's tough out there at the moment and no one should feel like they are alone.

    Take care.

    zztop, FromDiv4, HenryHooter and 69 others like this.
  2. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator Staff Member

    Merry Christmas all.

    If anyone is feeling low today, please do not be afraid to message.

    You are not alone.

  3. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator Staff Member

    Morning all,

    Hope everyone is cooking well.

    We've decided as a team to move the thread to somewhere as to where peoe can talk about the journey in a safe place.

    I personally have struggled with my mental health over the years be it being an anxious teenager to being in a very abusive relationship with a suicidal partner. The thing I have learnt is when things look at their bleakest, it will always get better. It takes time but you will come out of it a better person.

    The first step is always the hardest but most rewarding.
  4. Davy Crockett

    Davy Crockett Reservist

    As DTH has already said . If you are struggling just reach out. Even to me . I promise I will listen .
  5. domthehornet

    domthehornet Moderator Staff Member

    Thanks Davy, very kind of you.
  6. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    I've suffered from psychotic depression for a bout 14 years. I do take medication and I generally have a stable mental health team who see me once a month. Mental illness has sort of been a fixture in my family blood line it pains me to say. My elder sister (I shall of course mention no names) has suffered from a form of Schizophrenia almost all her adult years, but like me, is coping well overall. I think whatever people may think of the NHS in general, they do an amazing job in helping people. It wound me up when the Government shafted them for their pay rise request - because Covid more or less had the NHS on their knees, and thank god the vast majority of the good people of this country did abide by the rules Bojo put in place, be it rightly or wrongly in people's minds. Health, be it mental or otherwise is the most important part of our lives - I actually hold it above Family in this regard.

    Just wanted to break the ice on this thread a little. Hope everyone takes care of themselves and each other.
  7. scummybear

    scummybear Reservist

    A very brave post, Skyla. I'm glad you're coping well and too right about the NHS, I think the underfunding in the mental health sector is even worse than in the 'traditional' sectors. Historically it was looked upon as less important than physical illness and hence is still well behind.

    I think for people to feel safe opening up in a thread like this there needs to very strict rules on the forum, such as any personal information posted on this thread is to remain in this thread only and anybody who uses it in a slanderous way gets an instant week ban, with no exceptions. That said, the more of us that tell our own stories the more likely somebody who needs help is to reach out.

    Personally I've been exposed to MH issues all my life. My auntie was sectioned when I was a child, was deemed to have recovered so was released and a week later committed suicide - the effects of which still ripple through my family now, 20 years later. Most of my family do/have suffered from depression, whilst I've dodged it myself it does mean I've become accustomed to communicating with people who are struggling. On the night we beat Fulham 5-0 away in our promotion season I spent the evening negotiating a knife from my suicidal mother, so what was an incredible night for most Watford fans was one of the worst of my life.

    As for my own health, I go to counseling once a week for an attachment issue I have, caused by childhood trauma. Basically I'm perfectly confident and comfortable in social situations, making new friends and work environments, but when it comes to romantic relationships I get PTSD and act in completely irrational ways. But I'm making progress, so it's all good.

    Anyway, that's enough about me. If anybody on here needs somebody to talk to, needs to vent or just needs a distraction then my DMs are always open. I might even give you a free structural engineering quote...
  8. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    I'll echo what you and others have said regarding what I put. It is certainly brave to open up about personal troubles. This of course is not a medical forum, neither should it be used as vital support forum. There are places people can
    get help if they are really struggling. What this thread is all about is to allow people to offer a gentle virtual "arm around the shoulder" so to speak. It's not a place to vent deep issues either and I am also sure that the members of this
    forum are mature enough to act as adults and not mention real names of people or medications etc. In regard to what you said, again thank you for sharing - and I hope you continue to improve in these difficult situations throughout
    your life.

    Skyla x
    HeiaWatford and scummybear like this.
  9. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    1 in 4 people will suffer from a mental health problem every year. Whether that’s depression, anxiety, loss of a loved one, psychosis or whatever else

    So next time you sit down at the Vic a whole one of those stands worth of people probably had some sort of difficulty

    It may not be obvious to us but it is there.
    And stigma is real.

    I honestly feel if GT was still with us he would be championing this as a cause. Because he was a genuinely kind, empathic man who cared.
    Let’s be like him.
  10. HeiaWatford

    HeiaWatford Reservist

    Very well put. I often contemplate things like this on a regular basis.

    What I do think is that we have lost respect for one another. I believe respect is the most powerful word out there. My Dad was a man of very few words but he instilled in me two things in my early years. Treat people how you expect to be treated yourself and there is nobody better than you and that you're no better than anyone else. Two simple things but I still stand by those being very powerful statements that I completely agree with.

    Myself I went through I'd say 10 years of depression after failed surgeries that left me bedridden for months on end. It totally consumed me in every aspect in my life affecting everyone around me. I can honestly say I never saw this until many years later. I still reflect back on this and cant believe how bad I really was. Nothing I want to discuss here but it still amazes me how my family is still together, very dark days indeed.

    But what I will say which I believe is very difficult for men especially of my age is to try and talk about how you're feeling. There are people who want to listen and to help. Speaking about it is was the start of a very long journey personally for me to get me out of the darkness. So please don't be afraid because you will not be judged.
  11. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    Quite, although I would modify this to "of any age". Unfortunately the vast majority of world societies have their own version of the British "stiff upper lip". The upshot of this is that men are expected to push their feelings down, not express them, and suffer in silence (with suffer being the operative word).

    I had a pretty horrific experience when I was 17 (not going to go into details, it's really not appropriate for an open forum), and survived a situation which resulted in me seeing two friends die and one end up in hospital in a coma for weeks. He then carried long term brain damage into his adulthood.

    By some miracle I wasn't injured, but I did remember everything and that caused me serious PTSD and severe depression that it took me years to recover from. As a male teenager it was especially difficult to get help, and the enduring memory I have of that period is how people treat you like a leper when you're already struggling just to find a reason for living on a daily basis. I don't think it's malicious, but the impact is enormous and I think society would be well served by raising awareness of what treating people like that does to those who are already barely getting by.

    It is important to get help if need it, though. Keep asking until you find someone who will. It's the hardest thing in the world at the time, but for most it's probably the only way you can start to get your life back on track.
  12. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    Hey Dom, can you point me to where this thread has been moved to, as stated. Thanks
    cyaninternetdog likes this.
  13. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

  14. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Sister had quite a bad turn today. Some of her negative Schizophrenia symptoms were showing, I won't go into the details but if any of you know what this illness does to a person's mental state I think you understand the difference between negative and positive symptoms. She started screaming and became very erratic, but we managed to calm her down and she's currently resting. It's so scary... I haven't seen anyone act out their symptoms before, and I really feel bad for anyone who has witnessed this, or has indeed gone through such an episode.

    Got me thinking of all the kind words people give here, so I thought I would share it, it's no secret that lock down and social restrictions have had such an impact on people's everyday lifestyle. People will always deal with one aspect different from another person. Last thing I want is for myself or anyone to reach the point of no return, so having faith in what services we do have is a major factor in preventing such a situation.
    scummybear, Cthulhu, Heidar and 2 others like this.
  15. Heidar

    Heidar Squad Player

    My housemate at university suffered from this. It was very scary when these episodes came on. It is difficult to know how to respond - honestly they would scream as if they were being tortured at 4am. Best way I can put it would be they at war with themselves. Talking about football seemed to be the only way to to release him from the war going on in his head. It is so easy to keep your distance because it can be uncomfortable, but communication is everything.
    lm_wfc, scummybear and SkylaRose like this.
  16. scummybear

    scummybear Reservist

    I didn't see this last week, but how is your sister doing now? Hopefully things have calmed down, I can't begin to imagine how stressful and worrying that would be to witness. It sounds like she has good people around her though, so well done for managing to settle her down - I'm sure she appreciates it more than you know.
  17. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    Thank you for the kind words x

    Yes she is doing better now. They've upped her medication a little and she's been signed off work for a little while to get sorted out as best she can. Support is the best thing anyone can offer especially in times of crisis, and I am glad we were there for her.
  18. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Well this caught me out today. Had a dentist appointment this morning for the first time in 5 years. I don't usually do dentists due to a long and continued series of horrific experiences as a child. I remember clear as day not being able to sleep for a week before every single dentist visit as a child because of the experience I knew was coming. It was so bad that as an adult it put a wedge between me and my parents because I couldn't understand why they didn't do more to protect me at the time.

    Once I've been going for a while I sort of put up with it, but because of the long gap between now and my last visit I almost couldn't do the trip. I was literally screaming inside going in the door and like I said earlier it scared the **** out of me that I could feel like that. I always thought of myself as someone who could step into any situation with maximum confidence, but a bloke having a look inside my mouth turns me into a complete wreck.

    Showed to me how bad experiences as a child stay with you for life.
  19. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    Kanye West, never go full Kanye West people. Seriously though he needs help but I doubt anyone around him cares enough to do anything, surrounded himself with leeches and I dont know how but white supremacists also. Went on Info Wars and made Alex Jones uncomfortable.
  20. cyaninternetdog

    cyaninternetdog Forum Hippie

    Childhood experiences do **** people up, its the people that dont realise it that I worry about. Parenting is such a tough task though. I hate the dentist also.
  21. SkylaRose

    SkylaRose Administrator Staff Member

    It doesn't matter how old you get, and how hard to try to wipe certain memories from your mind - some experiences and memories (bad and good) are more or less imprinted on your mind. Nothing you can do about it - but as you said, if it's a bad experience and you have children of your own, you can at least help to prevent them from never having to experience that event themselves. It's not always easy, sometimes totally unavoidable, but if there is a chance you can steer them clear of such things, you have to take that chance, no matter how small. People think children/teens have a hard time getting over past trauma's, and while certainly true. adults also have this problem. Sure, the older you get the more you can try to "push it back" in your memory so you think about it less, but it only takes the smallest trigger to vision it again. Nothing can prevent anyone from when that will happen, surrounding yourself and your family with close friends, love and compassion is one of the best things to do when things seem dark.

    There is always something to do or a person to talk to nowadays, which helps. Social media is one of the worst for this but it's not all bad. You love your kids and would protect them at all costs, as a parent, that is all you can do - and I am sure you do that every day to the best of your ability.
    Diamond likes this.
  22. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    I have a similar problem with needles. I had convulsions as a baby (spent my first Christmas in hospital) and there were a lot of blood draws involved. I don't remember any of it, but I have a deep rooted visceral fear of needles due to the experiences I had at such a young age. Apparently it once took them over half an hour to get blood from me as I was fighting so hard due to being so terrified.

    I don't recall the experiences in the slightest, but the fear is there and it's never gone away. I can't even watch needles on TV shows/films, I have to look away.

    I also suffered a full on panic attack about 6 months ago when watching the newest Batman movie. There's a car crash scene in that which is an unfortunately excellent reconstruction of what the experience of a serious car accident is like.

    I was involved in a very, very bad one when I was 17 (passenger, not driver) and ended up with severe PTSD and depression in the wake of that incident. I'd largely put that behind me years later, but this scene brought on a full scale panic attack, on the level of what happened to me immediately after the accident when I was in shock.

    It's really quite incredible what our brains store away when it comes to trauma.
    Diamond likes this.

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