'If I leave at 4PM that will give me enough time to get to Manchester right?' 'Yes Dave' sighed my mate Jenny, 'Bloody football' Well, 3 hours and 40 minutes later I'm still on the A56 (or whatever road it was) and still no signs for Old Trafford, or where to park!!! So I text my other lady friend (back in Leicester) to ask for directions, to get a text back saying 'I don't bloody know, I've only been to OT 3 times!' Great! Lost in Manchester and only 15 minutes to go! SUDDENLY a sign! OT parking! Rushing now as there are no queues, 5 minutes later and there’s a car park! I dive in, narrowly missing some fat Manure fan in the process. ‘That will be £10 please’ ‘Sorry, how much!? £10?!’ ‘Yes’ £10! What a mug, it’s bad enough that clip of me at The Vic in my jesters hat, but £10! Begrudgingly I paid, I must have been desperate to see the game, or was that I was pretty sure I was going to wet myself in the next 30 seconds? I followed the crowd to see the massive stadium that is OT. Very impressive, looks bigger than last time? I was amazed how many fans were around for a Wednesday night game, but then, this is Manure, and half of them were probably Chinese tourists?! From there the game was ok, the score line was to be expected, but the highlights for me were the drunk guys in front of me, cheering great songs such as (To the tune of Artful Dodger Rewind) Ron-Al-Do, When the girl says no, Molester, and then our constant abuse of Jun Si-Park and his sale of DVD’s. One of the lads got chucked out for taunting the Manure fans (I was far over on the right side, the right side, the right side over here, [Row 11 Seat 6]) A bit stupid by the stewards as it was them who started it, but then, its easier to pick on the away fans isn’t it? Besides, he was wasted, which provided more comedy as the stewards and police tried to get him out of his seat. The loyal Manure supporter down the front deserves a mention, as well as Tommy Mooney, who I didn’t actually see, that’s a shame… From there, the drive home, I didn’t actually leave the car park until 2230, and I wasn’t on the M6 until 2330, stuck in traffic and getting overtaken by the Cantibrica coaches! Not only that, but some psychopathic Manure skinheads in a Fiat van would have kicked my head in if I hadn’t let them in front of me in the queue! At least the journey from here is easy right? M6 J16, A500, A50, M1 J21, well… no I got off at junction 16, but I must have gone wrong somewhere, as I ended up going towards Preston, not only that, I’m on a road I’ve never heard of! The time is now 0000 and I’m horribly lost, somewhere presumably around Stoke?! Ok, I’ll follow this sign for the A34, hang on, isn’t that in Oxford or Northampton? Ok, don’t panic Dave, turn around, and go the way you came… Why is there a country lane in the middle of…. Where am I?! Ok, pull over, read your map, I’m so tired, I should just sleep here… no! The map really wasn’t any help, why didn’t I get a TomTom when I had the chance, now I’m never going to get home, and I’m all alone, and we’re playing against Bolton on Saturday, that’s 3 easy points, am I crying?! Get a hold of yourself! Pick a road and drive, you will find a motorway soon right? (At this point I ripped off my rear mud flaps in a poor 3 point turn, done under the influence of panic) Another hour later and I’m back on the A500 (HOW! Damn it how!?) ok, this time, I’m going to make it up, suddenly, as I’m overtaking a lorry, A50 Stoke, damn! Turn off, and from there it was a safe journey home… So from this, my match day wasn’t about watching the Golden boys in our biggest game of the season so far, this match day was more about the journey there and back, the moral of this story is, if your planning a journey you have never done before, NEVER ASK A LADY!
been there done that, but not for many years thank christ. i borrowed a tom tom and whilst moving at 1 mph down the dual carriageway from the M62 it kept telling me i'd arrive in 5 mins. It kept telling me that for 40 mins. I arrived at 5pm. Got home at 2am.
I must also apologise to the guy in the seat next to me (Row 11 Seat 4) as I farted on your head whilst I was looking for Tommy Mooney... ;D
Very, very drunken away day, starting in The Moons at 11, left for Manc land at 12.30 with several cans on board. Arrived at a boozer in Sale at 5.30ish continued to neck more in there til around 7.30. Found our way to the tram station and off to Old Trafford, getting there with 10 minutes to spare til kick off(unusually early). Saw Sir Thomas Mooney and had a picture with him, legend and a top man sitting 2 seats behind. United made it 3-0 and i had enough, they scored the 4th while i was walking into The Trafford pub opposite the away end where the were showing the game on TV. Few in there then back off to the boozer in Sale and some take outs from the pub, back we trundled 'darn sarf' All in all another away day, roll on Wesh 'tam
That was a great night. And instead of singing 'man eater' by nelly furtado we sung 'dog eater' to Park Ji! That was hilarious!
