Bargain Hunt

Lorna flies. Quite right.

 

Enjoyable episode.
You can't go wrong with a Bingo/Steph/Dr Evil combo.
Plus we had yesterday's extensive RegReport to relish.
V happy.
I may have another glass of port.

 

My daughter has one on her desk.

 

Mrs Moog delighted to see another angle poise fail.

 

And I have two in my garage for restoration.

 

All hail WFCFCBH.
A mention of an obscure and supposedly rare object, and within minutes someone's waving two of 'em at us!

 

During the Distraction the grandmother was described as Humungous.

 

More BH Fascist shenanigans.

 

Hypothermia sets in. The Mad Hatter 's price ticket has really rocketed with inflation. Serves the Tory idiot right.

 

Phwoar says Raj as the Ballerina lifts her top up for a display of the goods on sale.

 

I think that seal's the deal.

 

What would Freud say about Steph in Red? Sigmund not Clement.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Detling 3
Series 68
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001yspx
Stephanie Connell helps the reds tackle their military challenge, while John Cameron and the blues hunt for an item with a connection to music or drama. Bargain Hunt pitches up at the Detling Showground in Kent. Stephanie Connell is with the reds, who face a military challenge, while John Cameron and the blues hunt for an item with a connection to music or drama. The rivalry leads to plenty of friendly competition around the fair and dishes up some drama at the auction! Charlie Ross visits nearby Lullingstone Castle, former site of the UK’s first silk farm, and learns about some unusual former residents.

The Translation:
Not much variety in the destinations at the moment as once again we are back at Dr Evil's/Plaidy's stomping ground of Detling in the Garden of England, Kent. Trawling around the Jumble Garden is Great T1t Charlie joined by Bingo Bull Finch and lovely Jay, Our Steph. Hopefully, turning the accumulated Tat into lovely Swoop will be Woodpecker Woodtapper Raj, rat-at-tat tatting the wood with his rapid hammer. Hopefully this time Steph will get contestants who aren't complete idiots.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Charl-eh Ross, the gurning omnifool
[Red Team Expert] Stephanie Connell, the Cockermouth Cumbrian, Our Steph
[Blue Team Expert] John Bingo Marine Boy Cameron
[Auctioneer] Raj Dr Evil Bisram
[Auction Location] Bentley's Auction Rooms, Cranbrook
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Contract manager Father and audit associate Son, they don't want tacky.
(Challenge: Connected to First or Second World War)
[Blue Team] Receptionist Mother and civil servant Daughter who love their Latin dancing.
(Challenge: Connected to dance or music)

The Shopping:
Reds: Pair of US Military ammunition cases (12), 2-Tier Herbert Terry Yellow Anglepoise lamp (94),
3 military cap badges (24 Challenge).
Blues: Ballerina figurine (14 Challenge), Lorna Bailey hand-painted vase (24), Lesley Ann Clarke wild Cornish seas studio glass vase (110).

The Distraction:
Charlie Ross visits nearby Lullingstone Castle, former site of the UK’s first silk farm, and learns about some unusual former residents. Off to Lullaby Castle, in La-la-land with The Fool where he's off to a former silk farm, that's handy as he's already touching cloth after eating a whole box of All Bran, and learns about some unusual formal residents, the Diddycoy moth who like nothing more than accumulating Red Diesel, unofficial house clearance items and unsafe or rip-off fairground attractions, before heading up to the nearest flame for a fight and an opportunity to dump 5 nests worth of moth detritus. Herts Dykes are also mentioned.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Pair of US Military ammunition cases (16 profit), 2-Tier Herbert Terry Yellow Anglepoise lamp (39 loss), 3 military cap badges (4 loss).
Steph's BB is a little cold-painter Spelter terrier (34), 20-40, 35. It's a 1 note profit for Steph. It's a profit which is always good.

​

Blues: Ballerina figurine (6 profit), Lorna Bailey hand-painted vase (66 profit), Lesley Ann Clarke wild Cornish seas studio glass vase (40 loss).
Bingo's BB is a 1920s Georg Jenson silver spoon (45), 40-60 Raj creams all over it, 75. Excellent 30 note profit.

​

The Aftermath:
Another long shadow cold start at the Antiques Fair. John, for effs sake, take off that hat. It doesn't suit you. Steph looking nice as always. Posh Charl-eh talking about posh moths making posh silk for posh Castle inhabitants who give away posh silk garments to the Royal Family in return for a Posh by appointment crest which will be worthless when they call in the very non-Posh receivers and bailiffs. Absentee Red son. What is going on with these no shows! Decent enough Raj Auction. He did accurately value and caution about certain items. He's quite on the ball. Steph got an officious, direct pair, who knew what they liked and wanted. Was the Father ex-military? All she could really do was smile and advise. At the end of the day it was their choices. The Auction got off to a slow start but picked up enough for a profit on their knackered ammo boxes, then came their risky Herbert Terry yellow (what a great colour) anglepoise. We've all seen them fly and then some tank. It was the latter this time, which put them on the back foot. The set of cap badges, which Raj warned was slightly too rich, just fell short as he feared. It was left to Steph's BB, who bought a cold-painted terrier after hearing Red Dad used to collect Beswick figures. It just pawed itself to a profit and the Reds end down 26 quid. Will Bingo's Blues get the blues? The well-fingered Ballerina figure made a small profit, then the Lorna Bailey vase, which they got for an absolute steal, shook the magic money tree to a big profit and showed them the shining path to the Golden Gavel. Standing in the way was another risky big spend item, a studio glass vase which unfortunately smashed their profits and prevented them knabbing the GG. Can the Blues end on a high with Bingo's BB? It's a Georg Jenson silver spoon, ideal for any posh Scandi babies, or even Scandi Babes who like to pose with gleaming cutlery. Raj loves it, so do the buyers and it makes a good profit. So no blues for Bingo's Blues as they take home 62 GBP. Not too shabby at all. Another entertaining episode despite big loss misery again for both teams.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick in an echoey room. The Fool up early and high and the Blues get up to par despite entanglement. Red Dad up high and well, he's next to Steph which helps, and she has skirt restriction issues. Yes, YES!!

​

 

The place in St Ives which Ryvita visited (and got 2 cracking bargains) are advertising their Auctions. My interest has been piqued. BH in St. Ives? It's not impossible. Mind you, we's end up with The Squeak or Bawley rather than Christina or any of the girls.

 

More Legacy Shenanigans.
BBC approved preamble:
Wetherby 21
S46E10
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08frk05
Charlie Ross is in the presenting saddle as the teams race around Wetherby Racecourse with experts Paul Laidlaw and Philip Serrell. Before heading over to the auction in Darlington, Charlie stops off to find out about the fascinating history of Yorkshire regiment The Green Howards.

The Translation:
Once again the posh idiot is prancing round yet another racecourse. This time it's in Wetherby. Propping him up and working his jaw to the autocue will be Muttley and Paul Laidalot, so he keeps telling everyone, the Highland Stag. Auction this time is on the grim streets of Darlo with Auctioneer Vidda Anagram Botsel.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Charlie Ross
[Red Team Expert] Paul Laidlaw
[Blue Team Expert] Philip Serrell
[Auctioneer] David Elstob
[Auction Location] Thomas Watson Auctioneers, Darlington
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Trusty servant Patsy and her son Henry, both like silver, she likes Art Deco and Arts & Crafts while he loves Vikings. Ah, he's doing History at York. A placement on the Co-Op management training course awaits him.
[Blue Team] Philip and his daughter Zoe, he's a science technician at a secondary school, he sets fire to methane bubbles and she is a primary school teacher, so I expect she'll have a very poor standard of basic mathematics. Make sure she's not in charge of the money.

The Shopping:
Reds: 1930s Art Deco-style jewelled Bakelite compact (40) 40-60 promising, Prosthetic aluminium nose (28) 20-30 Bullish says Anagram, Bullshiiit says The Tool, 1915 Birmingham silver Swiss movement travel clock (20) 30-50 Good. Total spend 88.
Blues: Patinated steel safe box with key (32) 30-50 done well, En-Tout-Cas tennis set (75) 60-100 OK, Large concrete dog (150) 100-200 OK. Total spend 257.

The Distraction:
Charlie stops off to find out about the fascinating history of Yorkshire regiment The Green Howards. Charl-eh slopes off to find out the fascinating history of the campest of Camp regiments, The Frankie Howerds, regimental motto, T1tter Ye Not, Oooooooooo Missus.

​

The Auction:
Reds: 1930s Art Deco-style jewelled Bakelite compact (10 loss), Prosthetic aluminium nose (3 loss), 1915 Birmingham silver Swiss movement travel clock (15 profit).
Laidalot's BB are 5 Late-19th/early-20th-century Vienna silver knife rests (20), 40-60 very good guaranteed profit, 45. A very tidy 25 GBP profit for some very stylish knife rests.
Blues: Patinated steel safe box with key (13 profit), En-Tout-Cas tennis set (15 profit) GG on?, Large concrete dog (70) GG smashed.
Muttley's BB is a 1904 London Royal Arch Chapter Masonic silver gilt medal (10), 20-40 he did very well, 25, a juicy 15 note profit for Philip.

Reds +27, not bad for Darlo
Blues +113, superb for Darlo and a GG for Muttley to boot.

The Aftermath:
These Botprobe Darlington Auctions are usually a barren wasteland and so are robust proving grounds for the would-be expert. Laidkilts Reds got off to a shaky start with losses albeit small on their Bakelite compact and weird Prosthetic aluminium nose, bought by a female of the species no less. Unfortunately, we don't get a visual clue as to whether the item was a replacement for herself or for some other poor unfortunate. The lovingly described travel clock reversed those losses to produce a small suplus which was then heavily cemented, in a way only Jimmy Saville's coffin knows, with a tidy 25 note profit on the 10 quid Vienna knife rests. A resulting 27 GBP profit in this place is definitely not to be sniffed at. OK then Phil, show us what you've got? Quite a bit, it seems, and we're not talking about his non-svelte physique. He chanced his team's arm with a 257 overall spend with a truly eclectic set of items. Decent profits on the safe box and the risky Tennis set, gambling on the maker's name, left them just with a large concrete dog standing in their way to big profit glory and a Golden Gavel. Well they needn't have worried, the dog woofed it's way to a 220 note sale, a 70 note profit and a GG, and a 98 overall profit. Could his BB force them into 3-figures of profit. His 10 note Funny Handshakers medal easily made a 15 quid profit to seal the 113 GBP overall takeaway. A 3-figure profit at Darlo, fantastic work Phil. Two experts showing their prowess in a grotty Northern Auction room not known for it's generous profits. This is another demonstration that shows why Muttley is top of the pile.

The Hi-Kick:
Perhaps Phil will get close to par after today's masterclass. Perhaps not, somehow I expect he does not give a flying fark.

 

Urgh, mixed colour schemes.

 

Showing up the shoddy workmanship on that Eagle like a starchy languages teacher picking apart an imperfect translation while humiliating the pupil.

 

​

its Compo from last of the summer wine

 

Squeak, Bawley and Pratt, Probable: Princess, Tash and Dizzie, ( dreamteam Aka Regs Angels) not a snowflakes hope in hell. Well thank-you BBC.

 

One for the Reds one for the blues.

 

Looks like Alec Baldwin had Oxtail Soup for his lunch.

 

Missed this cracking salute from the same part of the sale.

 

Daylight robbery at 24 notes.

 

Steph mud-wrestling. Get that image out of your head if you can.

 

I can't - and I don't want to.

 

tbf, in this case, whoever codged that up deserved humiliating.

And having their fingers broken too, in order to protect future generations.

Did you see the hangdog expression on the eagle's face?
Poor beast had obviously seen what had been done to him in a mirror.

No Eagle has been so bespoiled since Bernie Leadon

 

Fraud and descendants = worst things to come out of Vienna since the viennetta.

Sigmund - damaging unsubstantiated bullsh1t and misogyny
Matthew - disgusting shill and sh1tbag-enabler
Clement - nonce, LibDem ( which is worse?)
Emma - unforgiveably allowed Richard Curtis to spawn

 

It's another Uncle Eric The Longhair edition.

Kings Lynn. Arrrrrrrrrrr Norfolk.

Foghorn and Sarky.

Auntie Liz then.

Married couple met at the Gym. Zzzzzzzzzzz. That's the Reds.

Another pair of marrie numpties for the Blues.

Scent related/Makes a Noise. Not for Bawley's team though. Oh the irony.

Few more dents to that bottle as Mr Clumsy gives it a good knock.

45 reduced to 35. Wooo hoooo.

We can sit on it. Yes, painful.

Brass gavel not Gold.

Stingy discounts. Didn't even knock a couple of quid off the 9 note gavel.

Auntie Liz doing the Distraction.

Paper knives for paper stabbing. Good job the youth don't read letters.

Paper machetes by the look of some of them.

Is that a beaver-handled paper knife?



We're not buying for YOU, Sarky icily points out

Oh dear. They half-reject. That won't go down well. Standby for a put-down.

 

We've now reached 300 pages of pure rubbish. Well Done everyone. Crack open the Pomagne ..... again.

 

Terrible discounting.

He quite likes it.

Far too rich 115. Art Deco-like. Maybe French. Sarky likes.

 

What a sight to make your eyes very sore.



Tactile, another BH buzzword.

Anglepoise spotted. Luckily, they are oblivious.



Panic buy for the Reds big spend. This will not end well.

Reds: Murano vase, silver-topped scent bottle (Bawley special), David Andersen Enamel bracelet.

Blues: Brass gavel, Golden pheasant sculpture, Brass p1ss-pot.

BEWARE: Eric's hair in almost full view.

Auntie Liz for the Auction. Good stuff.

Murano repro. Oh dear. They got stung on that one. Poor experting from Jericho.

She loves the scent bottle. Good price too.

Nice Andersen bracelet. 140 is far too rich. Once again useless Bawley.

She's happy with that Gavel.

That pheasant will be shot down.

Anglo-Persian p1ss pot. Will it be p1ssing in the wind?

 

"He's not very forceful," glums grotesque ungrateful Bluebird about her bloke the minute his back is turned.
Would laugh if he gave her a slap when he sees this broadcast.

 

His lack of thrust means she has a roving eye.

 

Pheasant is fab.
But £95 fab?

 

Auction time. Here we go.

Repro vase loses 1 GBP.

Nice profit on the scent bottle.

The Andersen silver was too rich.

Silver menu holders are Foghorn's BB. 80 notes. Hmmmm.

Hawley has a vacant brain to go with the cartouche.

Oh dear. Foghorn fail on her BB. Useless.

Reds end 46 down. Not great.

Blues on.

Gavel makes a profit like we knew it wood I mean brass.

Pheasant shot down 35 short.

Cutaway to Sarky, my favourite item.

Is p1ss-pot p1ss-poor. Yes, 14 loss.

BH answer to John Wayne, Mark Stacey, says Eric,.

His BB is a Boxed brass topped scent bottle.

It shouts quality says Liz. QUALITY bawls Bawley.

It makes a profit. He shoots and he scores.

Superb work Sarky. Risky gamble that paid off. Superb work.

He turns their overall loss into a 7 note profit. Excellent.