Bargain Hunt

I'd even give Steph and Izzie a lookn

 

that must surely be Turtlehead's worst ever outfit.

 

Yes but would they be enough to inspire the filling of your sauceboat?
Quite the challenge.

Mind you, I suppose it depends on the timeframe...

Give me an uninterrupted week with a clothes-free Christina and I reckon I could replaster the ceiling

 

BBC approved preamble:
Newbury 25
Bargain Hunt Series 54
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000bqls
Today’s bargain-hunting battle takes place at Newbury Antiques and Collectors Fair. Natasha Raskin Sharp leads proceedings, and Charles Hanson and David Harper assist the red and blue teams as they spend £300 on items they hope will make a profit at auction. In Bristol, Natasha meets a maker of cigar box guitars.

The Translation:
Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp is back in, so normal it hurts, Newbury. I was expecting it to be from the racecourse, yet again, but it's not, it's from the usual random field minus the drunks, dogs, and bored teenagers. She is assisted by Charles Barking Mad Hanson, so beware the random sh1te or bust bonus buy, and DayGlo David Harper, the Middlesbrough Montalbano, the Teeside Tat Trouserer. Luckily, the gavel thumping is in the Wessex Auction rooms with Mr-Whippy-quiffy head himself, Treepants Weeks rather than Tubby Thomas and his cult of SOS Misers in Newbury, Scrooge's favourite Market Town.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Strict Natasha Raskin Sharp
[Red Team Expert] Charles Madness, madness they call it madness Hanson
[Blue Team Expert] DayGlo David Harper, the Middlesbrough Montelbano
[Auctioneer] Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
[Auction Location] Wessex Auction Rooms
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted



The Teams:
[Red Team] Best female friends, Graphic Designer and Business Analyst, prime Hanson gaslighting material.
(Challenge: Animal related)
[Blue Team] Self-proclaimed feral Mother and Daughter Support Workers, the Cyder Twins, who admit to being wild. Who gets them I wonder. Safer not to give then to Hanson.
(Challenge: Retro toy)

The Shopping:
Reds: Late Victorian Arts & Crafts Newlyn copper tray (120) ouch but he creams over the stylised prawns, Spelter money boxes with pigs (15 Challenge) excellent, Victorian pony Hames (30) good.
Blues: Vintage Skittle game (40 Challenge) OK, Alabaster urn (75) a chance, Boxed job lot of costume jewellery (20) guaranteed profit.

The Distraction:
Distraction is in Bristol, urban culture mentioned, so is urban vandalism going to be championed, no, a sigh of relief. Bristol described as the UKs most musical city with the highest number of musicians per head. Yeah right, having a load of buskers and wannabes in your town doesn't necessarily make you a cultural phenomenon. The main focus is on cigar box guitars which reminds me of the shoebox guitars you used to make as a kid, in the days when kid's used to make stuff from the Ladybird book of making things, in the pre-internet Dark Ages.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Late Victorian Arts & Crafts Newlyn copper tray (big loss), Spelter money boxes with pigs (small profit), Victorian pony Hames (loss).
Hanson's BB is a Chinese Green Dog of Foo roof tile (130), Treepants creams himself over it 80-120, 130. It could have gone either way.



Blues: Vintage Skittle game (nice profit), Alabaster urn (large loss), Boxed job lot of costume jewellery (decent profit).
Dayglo's BB is a 1920s Henry Brown & Sons Brass Ship's compass (100), 40-60 haha, 85. Another DayGlo dud.



The Aftermath:
Treepants really had his work cut out. The dozy audience, fanning themselves in the heat, were not in spending mood. Charles Hanson had obviously been puffing on the opium pipe again with some of his buys/direction, the overspending on the copper tray being the prime example. His BB was almost a classic folly but with Weeks battling away it broke even. Mind it was still a near 3-figure overall loss. Not his greatest day. The rough and tumble, scary Mother & Daughter Blue Team, Cyder Twins, had DayGlo as their prey and he delivered another uneven performance with a dreadful albaster urn which tanked and a Ship's compass BB that sank like the Titanic, to give us another overall loss. Luckily, it was not a Tubby Thomas auction where the losses would have been unprecedented.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard outdoor kick on grass. Decent height all round if a little uncoordinated. Yes, YES!!

​

 

A bonus BH on IPlayer which almost slipped under the radar. Watch it NOW!!!

Record collecting themed BH.
BBC approved preamble:
Newmarket & Sawbridgeworth
Bargain Hunt Series 49-52 (Extended Versions) Episode 15 of 15
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000h4gx
Anita Manning looks after proceedings at two antiques centres in the Hertfordshire town of Sawbridgeworth, where two teams of grandmothers and granddaughters go head to head. John Cameron leads the reds, while Caroline Hawley takes charge of the blues. Our bargain hunters have to spend £300 on three items within an hour in the hope that they will make a profit at the auction in Suffolk. Meanwhile, Anita gets into the groove and has a go at record collecting.

The Translation:
The cheeky farkers. Unbeknown to me until now, last Saturday (13th May), while I was nursing my hangover and the after-effects of a Friday Phal, while enjoying Christina in Leominster 3, the BBC sneeked out a different episode for BBC Wales. Instead, they got a McWitch Double Detention Special. To be fair, her demented Sylvester McCoy Doctor Who demented sister garb and persona would not have only aggravated my symptoms and not soothed them like Christina. The pre-credits sequence has the Old Hag sorting through some second hand vinyl, perhaps she'll find something by An@l C-u-n-t, or perhaps Screaming Lord Sutch, or the False Laughing Policeman. A-her-her-her-her-her-her-her-her-a-her. Marine Boy (so at least it's not a Southsea auction) and Foghorn Jericho Hawley replete in her Middle Age American Dupe Tartan outfit as part of her Weeping Sore collection, are her day carers. The Auctions will be with Geoffrey Barfoot. Can't remember him. Must have been one of the bad ones that get trialed and then quietly dropped. So standby for a super slurry forced her-her-her-her special by the nightmarish scary clown with special needs.

​

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Anita McWitch Manning
[Red Team Expert] John Marine Boy Cameron
[Blue Team Expert] Caroline Psychotronic Hawley, wearing her Charley Chunder designed outfit.
[Auctioneer] Geoffrey Clubfoot
[Auction Location] Clarke & Simpson Auction House, Campsea Ashe, Suffolk
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams 1:
[Red Team] Grandmother and former Trolly Dolly and now PA Granddaughter.
[Blue Team] Grandmother and Beth Twaddle, Toothy Fashion Company owning Granddaughter, she mentions crop tops and skirts, McWitch will try to squeeze into them later will her special XSpandeX Spell. They are also into Formula 1.

The Shopping 1:
Reds: Waterford crystal clock (18) good, Marcasite dolphin brooch (40) struggle, Wooden horse, to tunnel out and escape from McWitch (45) struggle.
Blues: London 1827 silver berry spoon (25) struggle, Chess set (20) guaranteed profit, Arts & Crafts brass spirit kettle and stand (45) OK.

The Auction 1:
Reds: Waterford crystal clock (good profit), Marcasite dolphin brooch (small profit) GG time??, Wooden horse (loss) neigh it wasn't.
MBs BB is a Waterford crystal gavel (40), 20-30, 22. Oh dear their dreams, like the gavel, are shattered.
Blues: London 1827 silver berry spoon (small loss), Chess set (small profit), Arts & Crafts brass spirit kettle and stand (small loss).
Foghorn's BB is a Copeland China tea set (35), 40-60, 40. It sneaks a profit. Foghorn scores.

​

The Aftermath 1:
Antique Centre Holocaust setting. Clubfoot likes his 20-30 estimate. He has a decent enough patter but when the misers are in town your powers of persuasion need to come to the fore. Opening bid for the clock of 50 notes sent out good vibes for this Auction House. Perhaps, Suffolk really does have more money than Norfolk, which wouldn't be difficult. Then it went downhill with a smaller profit, then losses and ends up with a small overall loss. Blues don't fair much better. They don't have the excitement of an early profit, so remain in the Red the whole Auction. 2 small profits and 2 small losses result in 1 small overall loss. This means they're slightly less crap than the Reds. Blue granddaughter, Beth Twaddle, gives us a gummy smile in pyrrhic victory.



The Hi-Kick:
Not shown. Booooooooooooo.

The Distraction:
McWitch gets into the groove and has a go at record collecting. She sets the records for worst false laugh, worst speech delivery, and worst dressed person in Scotland, beating some stiff competition. Meanwhile, in the vinyl section Martin Treebeard Terrorist Hughes gives us his Top 10 IED making hits.

​

The Teams 2:
[Red Team] Mixed sex couple who met on an online dating app.
[Blue Team] Mixed sex couple who met working at a wedding. They are into owning race horses. More Peaky Blinders than the Aga Khan.

The Shopping 2:
Reds: Modern Scandinavian chair (25) OK, Pair of silver animal pincushions (50) ouch, Mouseman oak ashtray (65) topend.
Blues: Pair of brass boot bookends (20) OK, Birmingham silver inkwell (45) good, Royal Doulton Lambeth bowl with greyhound handles (60) topend.

The Auction 2:
Reds: Modern Scandinavian chair (small loss), Pair of silver animal pincushions (loss), Mouseman oak ashtray (evens stevens).
MBs BB is a Royal Doulton stoneware bachelor's tea set with 1915 Chester silver mounts (50), 30-50, 30. Unlucky it was a decent item.
Blues: Pair of brass boot bookends (nice profit), Birmingham silver inkwell (loss), Royal Doulton Lambeth bowl with greyhound handles (loss).
Jericho's BB is a 1815 Birmingham George III silver vinaigrette with sponge (130), 60-80 he thinks that's too much, 60, it was too much. Disaster bellows Foghorn. Yes it was, just like your general experting, gavelling and presenting.

​

The Aftermath 2:
Antique Centre Holocaust setting part 2. Once again the Suffolk Flinty Skins are in evidence. The portents of doom were much in evidence for the Reds with 2 losses with the nice Mouseman ashtray breaking the losing streak. However, the Miser Manor went into full swing when Marine Boy lost 20 notes on his bachelor's tea set which went for the price of a Bachelor's Pot Noodle. Poor John, on his day off from the Southsea Steptoes he meets up with the Suffolk Scrooges. Jericho didn't fare much better. Apart from the brass bookends, everything else made a loss. As the programme ticked by, the constant Dutch Auction progression became more apparent. Another sh1te yokel infested Miser Manor. Another place for bargains to be had @wfcmoog and @OldTraff78 (wink, wink) . No wonder this place was dropped in favour of Auntie Liz in Norfolk. Do they have the internet in Suffolk yet?



It does look like Red Bird above has had a lobotomy.

The Hi-Kick 2:
Standard outside kick on uneven grass. McWitch casts her usual befuddle spell and barely lifts her foot. Generally, a decent kick with coordination a bit awry thanks to Red Bird being too quick out the traps. Unfortunately, Jericho gives us a fully exposed Tartan Growler which will haunt my nightmares for years.

​

 

Either that or just loosely wearing the BH green raincoat.

 

New Series and New Auctioneer by the look of it. However, it is the same old Muttley and Trilly for comfort.

Haggled a 3 note item to a pound. LOL. Muttley must love them.

Compacts and hatpins, Trilly in her element.

 

I like the way the reds are approaching this. 1 quid for a **** glass. Guaranteed profit.

 

A quid ??? Cheeky bar-stewards !

And if we have to be subjected to Trilly, she MUST be in a figure hugging dress, it's compulsory.

 

Mahogany spider hotel.

Good old Muttley. Some excellent railway tat.

Some classic items today.

Trevanion Auction Rooms. Nice boy Ashley, he obviously went to the local comp.

Boo we want Christina.

 

I spoke too soon. Overspent on the other two items.

 

Little hairless gay auction assistant has grown up. He's toned down the camp to be a mini Jacob Reed Mogg wannabe.

 

Poor Muttley.

A stool gamble too.

Dreadful auction.

Ashley has as much gravitas as a t1t feather.

 

Omg mini mogg is useless. Losses all over the place.

 

Rabbit in the headlights terrible.

 

Has Eric had his eyes done?
Hairless gayboy looks rather handsome without his specs.
Feel swizzed that we are in Christina's house but no Princess.
Like doing the Buck House tour when Brenda was actually at Balmoral.

 

Trilly really in her comfort zone with another butterfly wing pendant.

 

blimey. that compact went cheaply.

Muttley correct to boast about 600% profit on glass.

really, BH should operate on %age profit/loss, rather than raw cash terms

But it'd confuse audience, i suppose

 

500% profit, 5 pound profit on a 1 pound item.

 

his error, not mine! i was quoting him.
Check the tape, Reg! i am innocent, i tells ya, innocent!

 

RIP Andy Rourke

BBC approved preamble:
Leominster 5
Bargain Hunt Series 65
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001m0nk
The market town of Leominster is the destination for today’s show. Guiding the teams around an antiques centre in the Herefordshire town are Kate Bliss and Philip Serrell, but which team will make the biggest profit or the smallest loss at auction? Meanwhile, presenter Eric Knowles visits Hereford Cathedral’s 17th-century library, where the books are kept under lock and key.

The Translation:
After last weekend's sizzling Christina in Leominster 3, we today have Uncle Eric in Leominster, which doesn't quite have the same ring to it. It conjures up images of a wet weekend in Feb. Today, he's joined by 2 of the shows stalwarts, Trilly and Muttley, the latter in particular will be casting his cynical eye over proceedings. Like an old pullover they provide us with our much needed comfort blanket. It's a new Series so new combos and this time it looks like we're back to a familiar Auction location. It's Trevanion Auction Rooms. Christina? No, it's her little helper, Ashley Jones. Such a disappointment.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, he loves a sausage
[Red Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat et pullover de moth
[Blue Team Expert] Posh Kate Trilly Bliss
[Auctioneer] Aimless Ashley Hairless G1mp Jones
[Auction Location] Trevanion Auctioneers & Valuers, Whitchurch, Shropshire
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted



The Teams:
[Red Team] Barber Mother and Media Manager daughter who've been waiting to go on BH since 1993, must have not ticked enough BBC boxes until now.
(Challenge: Decorative piece of glassware)
[Blue Team] Married Plod and Enablement Officer, whatever that is.
(Challenge: Transport related)

The Shopping:
Reds: Coronation commemorative liqueur glass (1) bargain, Edwardian metamorphic mahogany high chair (75) OK, Cast-iron railway sleeper holder (38) good.
Blues: George VI silver powder compact (45) topend, Vintage Charles Horner silver hatpin (20) good, Pair of Vintage coach lamps (75 Challenge) ouch.

The Distraction:
Uncle Eric visits Hereford Cathedral's 17th-century chained library. Books on chains to stop them being lifted no doubt. Uncle Eric goes in search of a 17th Century copy of Fleming's Physician Knowe. He also looks at a Cider Bible, and finds his favourites Scrumpy Jack and Woodpecker Dry, which has probably never seen a real apple in its life.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Coronation commemorative liqueur glass (500% profit), Edwardian metamorphic mahogany high chair (loss), Cast-iron railway sleeper holder (largish loss).
Muttley's BB is an Arts and Crafts pokerwork stool (60), 40-60, 35. Oh dear the stool is ripe for ducking Muttley.



Blues: George VI silver powder compact (loss), Vintage Charles Horner silver hatpin (nice profit), Pair of Vintage coach lamps (loss).
Trilly's BB is a Silver butterfly wing pendant (25), 10-20, 35. A tenner profit. Well down Trills.



The Aftermath:
Hopes were held high when we heard it was at Trevanion Auctions. Then our hearts sank when it wasn't Christina valuing or gavelling but her hairless g1mp Ashley Jones. There's one thing valuing but another getting up there, manipulating and squeezing the extra pennies out of the audience, as per Hanson and Treepants, where these standard items would have had the profits wrung out. It was pretty dreadful, a classic lot of Trilly and Muttley items, real comfort zone stuff, and we end up with 3 profits out of 8 (including a 1 GBP item that was guaranteed a profit). Hopeless stuff. Remarkably, Trilly turned up a small overall profit. Confirming her status as one of the better experts. Felt sorry for Muttley. Some days he's good and others not so.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard cramped indoor kick. Everyone more or less par with good coordination. Yes, YES!!

​

 

Blue team looked fresh from an appearance in an ITV3 afternoon 'drama'.
You don't often see double-hatting on BH.
(Oh dear, that sounds suggestive. Am going to hazard it might mean two condoms for backdoor safety. Ashley?)
Heaven knows it was a miserable auction but exciting to see new season unveiled.
Fresh meat for Reg to murder, too.

 

We go again.

Francis Rossi and Linda Robson for the Reds.

Blue couple met online during the ASCII download era.

No Challenges.

Extreme sports mentioned.

Necklace found in a cracker.

The Brass cheek of the Reds.

 

Charles loves his cherubs.

He opens a cribbage board face down with the intended results.

Big clock gamble.

Welsh love seat. Snigger.

We're admiring your love seat says Charles.

Good natured entertaining episode so far.

 

Good grief, a Dully Auction. She's smiling. Have you been round recently @wfcmoog ?

Hanson folly time.

Some rum buggers in the sale room.

70 pounds 70 pounds she repeats like a parrot.

Awful patter.

Hanson follytastic. Brilliant

Excellent episode.

 

Charles Hanson would pick up a discarded toilet roll and wax lyrical about it before purchasing for 150 notes.

 

What is going on here? Is Charl-eh pulling someone's leg?

 

Just for you @wfcmoog , the lovely Catherine.

 

However, it does appear you might have to fight Hanson for her affections and her fascist allegiance.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Ardingly 11
Bargain Hunt Series 52 Episode 8 of 32
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0c3gs71
Charlie Ross joins experts Tim Weeks and Charles Hanson at The Ardingly Antiques and Collectors fair. The reds and blues compete to find some bargains, hoping to make a profit at auction. Charlie learns about one of the bravest British heroines of the 20th century.

The Translation:
Once again it's time for the unfruitful fruit fool Charl-eh as he once again charges into something he knows nothing about like a senile old bull in a Royal Worcester porcelain shop. This time he's talking about Heroin. His mind drifts back to his Notting Hill flat in the 60s, Lou Reed on the record player, and the young fool shooting up slumped in a corner. That's about all he remembers of the decade. He's jogged out of his daydream by the arrival of his 2 companions, Treepants Weeks and Dreamblazer Barnum, who needs drugs when you're Charles Hanson. Oh dear, the auction will be with Dully Southon, who's as wooden as her gavel. Losses all round it is then.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Omnifool Charlie The Tool Ross
[Red Team Expert] Timpole Tudor Wunderbar Weeks
[Blue Team Expert] Charles Madness, madness they call it madness Manson Hanson, the Galloping Gavellier
[Auctioneer] Catherine Southon, super posh, super dull, super useless, super grumpy, super randy
[Auction Location] Catherine Southon Auctioneers
(Miserlin Rating: Unlisted)



The Teams:
[Red Team] Bother Digital Forensics Brother Francis Rossi and Mail Delivery Company Sister Linda Robson
[Blue Team] Married couple who met online in the dial-up age, ASCII gen couple. He loves boxing.

The Shopping:
Reds: Bus stop sign (45) OK, Fisherman's weather vane (25) OK, Nectar Tea Oak-cased clock (229) Dully orgasms over it but it will probably struggle.
Blues: Art Deco-style silver necklace out of a Xmas cracker (9) a steal, Wooden Welsh love seat spinning chair (48) topend Dully very critical, Bohemian silver topped glass decanter and glasses (70) struggle but it's charming.

The Distraction:
Charlie learns about one of the bravest British heroines of the 20th century. Who is it? Edwina Curry, who was very brave to be a right-wing Tory in Scouseland and to became the recipient of John Major's grey member lust. No. Barbara Woodhouse, who would march into a pack of rabid pitbulls armed only with her arm in the fascist vertical scout salute pose shrilly hissing Sit!!!! No, it's Amy Johnson, one of Bumbling Boris' early wives. Ian Walker, former Spurs goalkeeper, now Croydon Aircraft Trust spokesperson, entertains Charl-eh with ball juggling, followed by post kicking, and ending with teabagging. It's too much for the tool and he has to have a long lie down.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Bus stop sign (nice profit), Fisherman's weather vane (decent profit), Nectar Tea Oak-cased clock (huge loss).
Treepants 1 note BB are 6 GWR luggage labels (1), 5-10, 5, a 400% profit.



Blues: Art Deco-style silver necklace out of a Xmas cracker (big profit), Wooden Welsh love seat spinning chair (2 note profit), Bohemian silver topped glass decanter and glasses (largish loss).
Hanson's BB is a Norwegian silver gilt brooch (115) FOLLY ALERT!!!!, 20-30 they LOL, we LOL, REJECTED, everyone LOL, 15. A ton loss, more LOL.



The Aftermath:
2 huge losses, some nice profits, Weeks and Hanson on good form, and even Dully at the Auction was in a sweet (for her) mood. Despite her bonhomie, her auctioning style leaves a lot to be desired. Just parroting does a patter not make, and the bidding falls flat rather than building up to a satisfying climax. The Birds of a Status Quo Rossi/Robson Reds, with his enormous back burner back pocket was trundling on nicely until the clock was spotted. What they really needed was an alarm clock to wake them up and move them onto something else. Naturally, it sank like a Liz Truss budget. Once again, give the expert a quid and they will come up trumps. This time it was Treepants and his luggage labels. Hanson's Blues also had a good start with a big profit on the Kinder Surprise toy necklace, and even made a small profit on the love seat that Dully hated (@wfcmoog take note), but it all started to unravel with the decanter and glasses before the brilliance of the Hanson folly BB of a brooch, rescued from the knick-knack drawer of a house clearance, made of Hanson's special Fool's Gold. A ton loss on that but they still win with a small profit because of the Reds clock disaster and their wise rejection of Charles reckless gamble. Such a good entertaining episode. Heartily recommended.



The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. Like her jokes, Linda Robson is very late, you dozy caaaaaaaw. Everyone else is on par on time. Yes, YES!!

​

 

indeed:
'Such a good entertaining episode. Heartily recommended.'
Cracking stuff.
Stunned by art deco style necklace success.
Manson's Norway campaign a worse disaster than 1940's.
Dully saying she'd be "on the floor in seconds" (with that stool)....moog feels faint; Charlie tells Dully she'll have to "work her socks off"...moog bids fifty for them.

 

@OldTraff78 and @wfcmoog Finally, here it is.

From the end of Jan 2022 to 21st May 2023, profits and losses according to experts and auctioneers have been processed and totted up. Some of the resuslts just confirm what we already new, others are surprising and it's amazing how hoodwinked you can be when you start to make assumptions. You really can't beat cold hard facts and proper data.

Let's get going, we have 6 awards in total: Best and worst expert; Best and worst auctioneer; Best Bargain Buyer; and Best Golden Gaveller. At the end I'll also publish the Tables of data for you all to mull over.

Obviously, there will be some caveats. For Auctioneering, only those with 10 appearances or more will be considered. The averaged profits will be the ultimate deciding factor.

First up. Worst Auctioneer. Honourable mentions to David Pessimistic Palmer and Adam Aha Partridge who actually had a worse average than the winner, or should that be loser, but they only appeared 4 times in the active time frame and average a total loss of 200 notes an episode. Outstanding work.

The winner is:

Spoiler

Not really a surprise. Their Auction Houses are real Miser Mausoleums.

While we're on the subject. Let's do Best Auctioneer. Once again, there were 3 others with a better average but they'd only gavelled 4 times, promising signs though.

The winner is:

Spoiler

Yet again. Not a massive surprise. Now we come to the good stuff, the 4 experting awards.

First, let's do Worst Expert. I chose third place for said person as their average was only slightly less worse than the person below but they had appeared only half the number of times and to carry through that appalling loss average for a further 25 appearances would be truly difficult unless you were really that bad.

The winner is:

Spoiler

Once again, absolutely no surprises.

Now to the expert with the Midas Touch. Who has won the most Golden Gavels for his team? There are only 3 experts never to have won a Golden Gavel: JP, Chuko, and Carloss Tragicooper. Poor Chuko, he's been close and I'm sure, like a shy bloke's cherry, it'll be popped pretty soon.

The winner is:

Spoiler

Not really surprising. They are some of the better ones.

Now it's Best Bonus Buyer. Who has made the most profit when left up to their own devices?

The winner is:

Spoiler

Pleasantly surprised by this. Certainly flew under the radar.

Finally, it's the big one. The one everybody has been waiting for, Best Expert. Out of all the experts, there are only 3 who have kept an overall profit resulting from all their appearances. They are the ones who top the leader board. Everyone else has a net loss. Never mind, it's only other people's money.

The winner is:

Spoiler

Yup, that's right. Well fark me sideways with a side-order of coleslaw.

As I mentioned earlier I'll also publish the full tables.

Happy head scratching.

As an extra I've also included the current Bargain Hunt team and item records.

Expert Table

Spoiler

Auctioneer Table

Spoiler

Golden Gavel Table

Spoiler

Bonus Buy Table

Spoiler

Notes:
Profit is the sum of all the profits (and losses) for each expert from each episode.

GG refers to number of GG awarded to an expert's team i.e. on the first 3 items

BB is the sum total of all Expert Bonus Buys
Points Total is an attempt to weight the profit with more influence from the BB as this is chosen solely by the expert. It's like the It's a Knockout Joker. Each pound made on the first 3 items is 1 point, a pound for the BB is 2 points.

Items rejected by the teams are still added to the experts and auctioneers point score.

A disqualified item with its penalty score will be the value used for expert and auctioneer rather than the actual price it was sold for.

In the Auctioneer Table, any person with 3 or less appearances isn't included in the Table.

Awards can only be awarded for experts or auctioneers with more 10 or more appearances.

 

Evidently, this is an ice-cream/choc-ice on a stick which was eaten whole by a dog and this is what eventually came out the other end. A fitting trophy for the Worst Expert.