Joke

The Liverpool manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play
football and is suitably impressed and arranges him to come over to
Anfield. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man United with
only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the
nod and on he goes.







The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the
game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches
are delighted and the media love the new star.





When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her
about his first day in English football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he
says in an Iraqi accent. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0
down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the
media, they all love me."






"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father
got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed,
gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters,
and all while you were having such great time."






The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."





"Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved
to Liverpool in the first place!"

 

heard it before but forgot the punchline, lol

 

Quality, call me stupid but I didn't see that coming!

 

lolol

 

good one

 

heard that before too

 

good like it

 

Old Joke

This is an old joke but I stumbled across it again this morning. One to get Friday off to a start!

A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following items:

1 Bar of Soap
1 Toothbrush
1 Tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 apple
1 banana
1 orange
1 plum
1 grapefruit
1 tomato
1 lettuce
1 cabbage
1 baking potato
1 Kraft single
1 samosa
1 vegetable pakora
1 muesli bar
1 pie
1 frozen pizza
1 single frozen dinner
The bloke behind her in the queue taps her on the shoulder. He is carrying a basket with a six pack of Stella, a pizza and some Wagon Wheels.

As she turns he smiles at her and says, "Single, eh?"

The girl smiles sheepishly and replies, "How did you guess?"

He looks at her - straight in the eyes and gently says, "Because you're ugly."

 

:]] :]] :]] :]]

 

Guilty laugh :]] :]]

 

I know this wanders off the subject of Berko's original, but I heard this one last night;

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pishing on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog. A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a nasty deed. The blind man replied "Oh I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his ucking ass."

 

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

















A carrot :]]

 

:]] :]] :]]

 

i dont get it???

 

seriously?

 

Be careful he might be setting you up for a whoosh!

 

haha i hope not! Not that i am entirely sure what one of them is!

 

even i got it :]]

 

whoosh started of on the old boards when a sarcastic comment went way over someones head.
hence 'whoosh'

they have been overused and not everyone understancds that something must go over your head to get one. he could not whoosh you by lying then changni his mind

 

I wish everyone understood the rules of whooshing as you describe them. Unfortunately they don't and they attempt to set people up. :dismay:

 

I think we need to hold a convention of Whoosing, where the rules would be clearly and simply laid out and all would become clear.

 

yep, admin?
chez and the original whooshers can join and we will come to a decision.

it will be a convention like none ever before.
it will go down alongside the magna carte, the treayty of versailles, and the human rights act

 

Good Idea, Why don't you start a Thread to discuss it, as it your idea (don't want to take the credit away from you) and once all the rules have been agreed and ironed out I'll put a sticky with the rules.

 

Um, has The Hornet been whooshed there? Or will I be whooshed for thinking that?

We definitely need a WHOOSHING SYMPOSIUM.

 

If I have then maybe we do need a guidline for whats a Whoosh and whats not a whoosh.

 

a whoosh smillie too.

 

Go on then UEA, start the rules of whooshing thread and claim your 'orns otherwise we'll do it on here.

 

Who said anything about earning 'orns?

 

That would be a good idea!

Here's one


I'll ask admin to add it.

 

thats a good one

 

I thought you got 'orns for starting threads?

 

At this point I would like to resign at chairman of the 2007 Whooshing Rules Convention. I will of course claim all the expenses due to me before leaving office, having led such a fine campaign to establish a set of rules for whoosing on WFC Forums. I thank you all. In my place I wish to recommend the appointment afanof as a suitable (but inferior) successor to myself

 

A Joke...

Sorry if this has been posted recently...





One day a women was walking down the road and man appeared in front of her. he said "I'll give you 1 wish, and I'll come back next week for your husband"

so the women thought to herself, and decided what she wanted, and she said "i wish i won the lottery"

2 days later, the women won the lottery, and went to tell her husband, and explained what happened

the week later when the man came back to give the man one wish, and the man thought to himself what he wanted, and said "make my p*enis so long it will touch the ground"

The man gave him a funny look and said "if you wish sir"

and BOOOOM, it happened, and the mans legs had disappeared
:]]:]]

 

bump:]]:]]

 

Let me pass the buck to lm_wfc who has already demonstrated an understanding of the finer points of whooshing and would do an excellent job as Chairman of the Whooshing Rules Convention.