How Good Are YOU At Football?

Discussion in 'General Football & Other Sport' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Jun 20, 2018.

  1. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Of course, everyone here is an esteemed expert on exactly where these professional players are going wrong and what they ought to be doing (even though every single one of them could no doubt do keepyups whilst running rings around the whole lot of us and texting on their phone at the same time) but how good a footballer are you?

    On a rating of 1 to 10, where 10 is Pele and 1 is the specciest, cowering, skinny legged bookworm, who's only playing football at all because the games teacher made him.

    I hung up my boots a couple of decades ago after a Sunday morning pub match spent fruitlessly chasing the rapidly disappearing back of some 18 year old up and down the pitch, which near enough killed me. But to be honest, I was never that good.

    Although I sometimes tell people (truthfully) that I twice represented England at the European Championships, I leave out the bit about it being the European Championships for railway workers. And we came 9th out of 12 one year and stone bonk last the other.

    My only advantage was being tall and quite strong, so I often played as a full back or sometimes in goal. Specialist in clattering last ditch tackles and big old hoofs up the pitch as far as I could kick it.

    I would rate myself as only 3.5 out of 10.

    What about others?
    Jossy and foxywfc like this.
  2. fan

    fan slow toaster

    playing in Canada I was a 9. playing on Brazil I'd say a 0.5.
  3. GoingDown

    GoingDown Pizza & Figs

    Completed it m8
  4. hornetgags

    hornetgags McMuff's lovechild

    I was on West Ham's books 30 odd years ago, and had trials with Lazio, but injury ended my hopes of a professional career.

    6.5-7 out of 10 (in my head 8).
  5. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    I'm **** and I know I am.
  6. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    Yeah yeah yeah - sounds like Lazio journalism to me.

    I was "The rock", the Tony Adams of my Uni team. I did score our goal of the season one year. A 30 yard own goal (i was fouled while making a long back pass !).
    hornetgags likes this.
  7. The Voice of Reason

    The Voice of Reason The One and Only

    Never good enough to be a pro, but it always stuck in my craw that I went to a trial for my local district school boy team. I was on the pitch for only 20 mins, during which time I played 10 mins for each side and scored 2 goals for each side, but never got a sniff of getting in the team.

    I found out afterwards that the guy who ran the trials selected a lad who was not even at the trials, who played for his own shcool team. What made it worse was that about 4 or 5 lads that I played with in a Sunday league team got in and told me the guy he had selected was pants.
  8. Meh!

    Meh! Pre-Dictator

    Between 1-10 is too small for such a vast spectrum.

    Between 1-100 I'd say I'm a 17!
  9. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard Squad Player

    0.5/10 and I still know more about football than most of you
  10. Harrow Orn

    Harrow Orn Squad Player

    Used to be arlight. Played in the harrow youth league and my team were in the top division. Got a few players player awards along the way.

    Now? ****. No fitness and definitely lost my touch!
  11. NemoNemo

    NemoNemo First Year Pro

    I play power league football for work and we have a couple of foreign ex professionals and 1 guy who is professional with a non-league side. They are really good, skilful and have great technique but can’t pass the ball for s h i t and always try to take everyone on. Based on this I think I’m a better player then then based on effort, team ethic and the actual ability to play football as part of a team. I’d put them around the 6-7 mark so does this mean I’m an 8? I’d say I’m a 4 but just shows it’s not just about how skilful you are
  12. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    About -1
  13. Stevohorn

    Stevohorn Watching Grass Grow


    On Meh's scale :(
  14. foxywfc

    foxywfc First Year Pro

    I was payed to play for Port Talbot reserves £15 per game + petrol money, £10 if you were on the bench. That was at the end of my military career, moved over to Canada thinking I’d be a 8/10 and couldn’t keep up with them so hung up my boots put on 3 stone and now like shouting at 7/8 year olds as I’m English I know everything about soccer

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  15. Knight GT

    Knight GT Predictor extraordinaire 2013/14

    Played a little bit of decent standard non league but I'd got the bug for going to Watford by then so didn't carry on. Was once told by a former Aston Villa captain that I was good enough to make it but not sure if scouts were ever sent but if they were they clearly thought I was bobbins. Played a lot of Sunday League with mates after that. Was never a "run up and down all day" kind of player, more of Craig Ramage/Jan Molby type. Still play occasional 7 a side but buggered my knee up a few years ago so am even more limited now. I would say I would be a 5 or 6, my mates would say 1 and my mum would say 10!
  16. Hornpete

    Hornpete Reservist

    10 - pele.
    9 - top top international player harry.
    8 - premiership or decent international
    7 - average international for scotland
    6 - championship / belgium league
    5 -lower league
    4 -non league
    3.5- got paid once in the equivalent of division 11
    3 - saturday club level
    2.5 - sunday pub level
    2 - joined a club/pub once but never got a game as they saw through me.
    1 - can play football but cant kick a ball 30 yards or straight, ever
    0 - played 100 games for luton.

    Me 3.1, could have been higher but never got a chance and preferred cricket.
  17. Jossy

    Jossy Reservist

    I mentioned in the thread about what players you've played against that I was in the same under 13/14/15's team as (now ex) QPR coach Marc Bircham. He was better - but not by miles - yet he only went on to be a limited, lower division player. Therefore I'd say I was probably at best a 4 or a very, very generous 5. Bear in mind that's based on back then - I don't think I've kicked a ball in over ten years now, so despite keeping fit(ish), I'd barely scrape a 2 now:(.
  18. I Blame Bassett

    I Blame Bassett Squad Player

    I'm afraid my football ended with the heroic 1975 title winning season for Mount Pleasant Lane JMI!
    Although,having said that I was prevented from playing the last two matches as a head master thought I would...oh you know this tale!
    I still play keepy uppy/three touch minimum over the net with the players as a warm up but that's about it.
    Johnny Haynes did say hello to me though,does that help?
  19. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth Squad Player

    After giving up 5 aside 10 years ago after 2 knee ops I'm seriously tempted to start playing again.
    Anyone know a team or works group in the Tring/Berko/HH area who meet up for a weekly not-too-serious kick about an evening after work who deperately need a 55 year old with one working leg and an irritating sense of humour ?
    References to WFC injuries/WFC medical team are explicitly blocked from replies.
  20. Bwood_Horn

    Bwood_Horn Squad Player

    This. I was too-short sighted and a ball in the face (smashing most of my front teeth) during trials for my Middle School's team gave me severe "ball fright".
  21. Diamond

    Diamond Squad Player

    If it was down to fitness and ability to run for 90 minutes then 9/10.
    Technically 1/10, and that's being generous.
  22. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    Played for my College at university, in the third team, at a practice, once.

    I’ll say 2.5
  23. PowerJugs

    PowerJugs Doyley Fanatic

    No worse than Scott Loach in goal.

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  24. I could smash a buffet faster than Troy

    I’m a 9
  25. Burnsy

    Burnsy Reservist

    It depends on what level of professional footballer is adjudged as a 10.

    If 10 is Messi, I’m a 1 at best - likely less.
    If 10 is Marvin Zeegelaar, I’m a comfortable 25.
  26. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    I played for the College second team, in a competitive match, in goal.

    We lost 0-5, and I conceded the first in the second minute. I was never picked again.
  27. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    Did you last til the second half. I didn’t
  28. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    I did. I don't think we had any subs. You obviously had a well-stocked third team!
  29. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    I think they played on with 10 men
    Keighley likes this.
  30. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

    Had a trial for Palarse. Might have gone further if I'd gone to a school that actively encouraged/played football.

    Played No.10. Killer passes. Maybe a bit lazy. Where that puts me on Moh's scale of hardness I'll leave for others to judge.
  31. Moosedog

    Moosedog Reservist

    Played 6 seasons for probably the top non league team of that time, in the squad of a winning FA amatuer cup team at the Old Wembley (only one sub in those days) played in the first leg of the European amatuer cup final. Never played youth football or Sunday league so not qualified to comment on this forum
  32. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Reservist


    Without the ball I'm brilliant - expert at tackling, marking, positioning, organisation...

    With the ball I'm Joey Deacon meets Stephen Hawking.
    KelsoOrn and Clive_ofthe_Kremlin like this.
  33. goldenstate-goldenboy

    goldenstate-goldenboy First Year Pro

    2.5? 3? Never had any coaching/training as a kid as I preferred baseball. Have played intramurals at uni and have been told that I've got a bit of natural talent as a defender. Can hold my own against some of the lads who play for the real club, though they're much fitter than me. I'm proper poor with the ball at my feet though.
  34. PhilippineOrn

    PhilippineOrn First Team

    I've forgotten more than Messi knows.
  35. KelsoOrn

    KelsoOrn Squad Player

    About succeeding in tax avoidance.

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