So one of my oldies told me. Some old dear who lives across from her, called Yolanda, got a knock on her door and when she opened it, there was a couple standing there with a big box of gifts. He apparently said "Do you know who I am?" Which does seem the sort of thing a famous person would say. She said "No" and then he said he was David Beckham and gave her the parcel. I didn't find out what was in the parcel or why Yolanda was chosen for this outpouring of Beckham charidee. I did however make sure that 'David' didn't then ask to use Yolanda's toilet or check her gas meter or take £100 up the Co-op to get some lockdown shopping in. In separate local Beckham developments, another oldie told me that her local pub is still doing takeaway meals and delivering a nice hot lunch regularly (good on em), but the landlord told her that a special order had come in from "David Beckham's manager or trainer or something" who lives "somewhere round about". He wanted a whole barrel of beer (£70 - I enquired) and a suspiciously large number of take away meals for pick up. More than you'd expect for even the largest family in lockdown. There is definite Beckham related activity in this area and I will keep you posted. Being in on the all seeing and all knowing, net curtain twitching granny gossip network is one of the best things about my job. That and getting called things like "young feller me lad..".
To which the correct answer is, “Oh, how sad, are you in the early stages of dementia too? Have you checked to see if there’s a name tag in your jumper?”
