Bargain Hunt

BBC approved preamble:
Oswestry 7
Series 68
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001ykhx
Experts Philip Serrell and Ben Cooper are the experts guiding the teams at Oswestry Showground.
It’s Roo Irvine’s turn to find out more about one of our wonderful experts and take a peek at their personal acquisition of antiques and collectibles. The teams are shopping at Oswestry Showground. The reds, barbers Max and Jake, are paired up with expert Philip Serrell. Their challenge is to buy coloured glass, while the blues, couple Atique and Laura, with expert Ben Cooper, must find an item connected to childhood. Wrexham auctioneer Matthew Tongue is on the rostrum. Will it come down to the experts' bonus buys to seal victory?

The Translation:
It's another hasty return back to the Oswestry Showground with lovely blinged up Roo. Trouble is, if she's presenting then she's not fondling various tactile modern fertility objects and probing her fingers and rimming all manner of boxes, rings and helmet shaped creamers, which is a real pity. Joining her today is Muttley who enjoys nothing more than inserting his foot firmly into mouth and Posh Hair Bear Bunch reject Tragicooper who will do his best getting his fist stuck in a jar, his head jammed in a saucepan, and his feet expertly locating banana skins and various trip hazards to come a cropper. Meanwhile in Hampton Court Palace, Wrexham, King Henry of Tong will be ready to joust his gavel with the ensuing Auction Room hoards and shouting his catchphrase of, off with those bids.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Delightful Roo Irvine, full of Eastern Promise
[Red Team Expert] Philip Muttley Serrell avec scarf de tat et pull-over de moth
[Blue Team Expert] Ben Carloss Wispa Tragicooper, bad buys woo-woo
[Auctioneer] Matthew Henry VIII Tong, Estimated, Bidden, Died, Estimated, Bidden, Flied
[Auction Location] Tong's Auction House, Wrexham
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Barber Friends Max and Jake, they met in primary school and played cricket, one of them looks like he's modelled himself on the 70s San Francisco scene and the other a stumpier Bez.
(Challenge: Contains coloured glass)
[Blue Team] Married Couple Car Sales Manager Atique (BBC BAME Box ticked) and Nurse Laura, Ahmed Daley and Nursie.
(Challenge: Connection to childhood)

The Shopping:
Reds: 1890s Stourbridge glass satin bottle (44 Challenge) OK, Glass decanter with silver collar and sherry badge (75) maybe, 1888 Mechanical tool sharpener (14) done very well.
Blues: Andersen & Schienffling silver gilt and enamel bracelet (90) might struggle, Baby's metamorphic high chair with teddy (55) ouch, Brass and mahogany spirit level (5) can't go wrong.

The Distraction:
It’s Roo Irvine’s turn to find out more about one of our wonderful experts and take a peek at their personal acquisition of antiques and collectibles. Christina's collection of green raincoats and matching lingerie, Muttley's collection of tatty scarfs, Tubby's burst buttons, Trilly's silver, Catherine's large collection of helmet shaped creamers, The Squeak's personal skip contents, Bingo's Maritime collection, The Fool's belly fluff accumulation, Eric's collection of sausage paraphenalia. Sarky's Pansy Punishment Pit. Roo's own collection of thigh length boots. What or who can it be? Like a Camberwick Green reveal we get Trilly!!! She's the epitome of Middle Class England. Father was an Auctioneer, double-barrelled named grandfather was an RAF Squadron Leader.

​

The Auction:
Reds: 1890s Stourbridge glass satin bottle (26 loss), Glass decanter with silver collar and sherry badge (30 loss), 1888 Mechanical tool sharpener (31 profit).
Muttley's BB is a Silver snooker cue chalk holder (39), 20-30, 40. A Yorks profit, not to be sniffed at here.

​

Blues: Andersen & Schienffling silver gilt and enamel bracelet (20 profit), Baby's metamorphic high chair with teddy (31 loss), Brass and mahogany spirit level (3 profit).
The Yeti's BB is a 1908 Birmingham silver topped glass box with duck pin cushion (59), 20-30, 70, 11 note profit for Poundshop George today.

​

The Aftermath:
Roo wearing her dressing gown covering the hidden delights with her mane of dark shag-me hair. Muttley pretending not to care with his usual mugging to camera, particularly during the tool sharpener purchase which he instigated. Carloss, a lot more restrained today, holding court with Blue Bird and treating her dodgy car salesman fella Ahmed Daley, like a 5 year old toddler, given tasks to keep him out of the way, "Off you Go", he patronisingly instructs. King Henry, with an eyebrows raised glance, describing to Roo that there's nothing better than whipping your cue out and giving the end a good chalking. What a wonderfully loaded comment. Another freezer based auction room today, the only thing missing was the rack of meet hooks for the bid pretender carcasses to hang from. In fact the only thing providing any heat in this Auction was the booming voice of Good King Henry Tong. Most of the profits were frozen out and even the assembled Zombies seemed even more inert than usual. Muttley's Reds were saved from an anti-GG, after their opening 2 losses, when the tool sharpener, which Phil pretended was rubbish, but you knew he was only bluffing, made a really good profit to give them a chance of actual money. However, the silver cue chalker, which everyone seemed to love, summed up the tight auction and only made a 1 pound profit, so the Reds end 24 notes bereft. This moribund auction, didn't bode well for BHs worst expert, Cooper de Tragi. The lovely Scandi bracelet made a profit which was then cancelled out by the metamorphic chair, yes it changed their profit into a loss. The cheap, guaranteed profit of the spirit level bought them up to minus eight. Master Wispa's BBs are often not great but he found a charming silver duck topped glass box which soared to a 11 note profit. Well that was a surprise, Carloss becomes Carwin with a 3 note overall profit which for once does not add to his enormous EU style butter mountain of debt from his appearances to date.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick in cramped conditions in poor light light so we can't see what's under or in Roo's kilt so to speak. Everyone appears to hit par, bar Muttley naturally, with the Red Bloke out of Village People showing the world his Meat and 2 Veg. Yes, YES!!

​

 

I don't remember this episode. I believe it is Wendy Richard.



An anglepoise lamp, used in the correct stting, in the correct purpose, not as an upcyclists wet dream, is perfectly acceptable, so long as they are not sold as an on-trend quirky item.



An alternate view on the talents of Jill Kerman.

 

Younger viewers may remember a much older Jill from her Nineties love triangle with Mike Baldwin and Ken Barlow. Very unfortunate hairdo; not worth googleimaging.

 

Would you buy a used car off this man?

 

I don't think that's actually an Anglepoise lamp (as manufactured by Herbert Terry in Redditch). I suspect it is a Danish draughtsmen's lamp made by HCF, similar to this one: https://kula.london/listing/681527299/rare-danish-anglepoise-draughtsman

"Anglepoise" tends to get used as a descriptor, when actually it's a trade name, rather like "Hoover" is used for vacuum cleaners.

Now, how nerdy was that?

 

When I used to work in property sales, there was a huge Caribbean scheme where the sales people all had those dark, black hole eye sockets. It was eventually revealed to be a huge scam and a scandal. People were so seduced by the marketing they never seemed to accept that they were being sold to by a pack of demons.

 

Urgh that outfit Foghorn is wearing. Now her Mini-Me is talking like The Squeak. Is this the stuff of nightmares?

Splaphead and his GP Bride. She's will love him long time.

Mother and Son-in-law. Blue Team

Is he an Aussie? Strewth.

It looks like Foghorn took one of her outfits and then sneezed over it.

Plaidy for the Reds. Wokesfuhrer for the Blues.

Outdoors/Use at a party. What sort of Party? Cough.

Shittty step ladder already.

Giggling Red Idiot.

That Dealer comes in with a 75 note bid. He obviously knows the drill.

Talking of Drills, Foghorn is narrating.

Those signs lifted from the sights of London.

Mancave mentioned. Ugh.

De-commissioned = stolen.

What's Australian for Ancestor convicts?

Slaphead used to live in Japan.

When do they change from Fleeces to Polo Shirts. Seasonal or Temperature thing?

Disco Ball ready for a Reichsparty.

You've got that little prickit there says Plaidy. Referring to Red Bloke.

Blue Bloke would be big prickit.

Weeks up to his Gaslighting best.

End of the day mentioned. Bargains ahoy.

 

They are going to leave the cheap Globe behind. Surely, Plaidy will snaffle it for his BB.

The Reds are rushing.

If that's rushing then I hate to see what dawdling is.

Those signs are directing them to a loss.

Knackered garden table and chairs, candlestick holders, and that sign. 3 items of tat. Plaidy just needs to get the globe to complete the skip related items.

Step-ladder, Japamese toy space gun, pewter cocktail shaker and siphon for the Blues.

Nasty butt plugs that come with the cocktail shaker. The booze would probably help get them in.

 

Plaid overload.

 

== What's Australian for 'ancestor convicts'?

Ancestors.

 

Singing Ringing Hugo and his Magic Money Tree.

I'd be disappointed not to see 2 Golden Gavels.

Didgeridon't?

Foghorn is wearing yet another hideous outfit for the Auction Rooms.



Profit, profit, profit.

GG confirmed.

She will be loving everyone for a very long time.

Bargain Hug days Plaidy. Bargain Grope if DayGlo or Catherine is on.

Globe bought by Plaidy. End of day too. We knew he was going to buy this.

A Tenner, a bargain.

Straight in with a profit.

The money cascades like Niagara Falls.

47 for the Globe.

Reds make 78 overall, for 3 items which would bomb elsewhere.

Blues now.

Profit on item 1. Did he go Boom. The Idiot.

Well done Hugo. Milks the extra to get a profit on the Japanese cracker toy.

Another GG is on.

Surely he's having them on with the bids. I bet they went straight in as a progit.

The Aussies think they are now experts.

Dreadful glitter ball is the Wokesfuhrer's BB.

Has he overpaid? Surely not at Fort Bourne End Knox.

Another profit. 8 out of 8.

Blues end on +24.

Is that the lowest total attained for a 4 item profit haul.

There can only be one says Highlander dressed Jericho.

She slices their heads off with her voice.

 

Even Plaidy gets huggy! wtf.
Group sex imminent.

(Ha, Nick quips "bargain hug")

 

oooh blue drama. well squeezed, mr lemon.

==Disco Ball ready for a Reichsparty

And he's gone for it!

'Heil The DJ'...it's a 'National Front Disco'

 

Goosetepping final kick. You could imagine Jericho with a skinhead mullet.

 

Last April we murmured about this very episode ........

Reg:
Foghorn stalking Bekonscot. Blimey. Fee-Fi-Fo-FUM!!!!!!!!

NO PEEKING!!!!!!!!!

GP Treat you Long Time.

Red CEO lived in Japan. Wifey is Japanese?

OT78:
Me no Peking! Me from Nagasaki!

Reg:
Treepants will have that Glitterball as his BB.

Plaidy to get the Globe as his BB. Surely a bargain to be had there.

He cryptically confirms this.

Weeks is going Glitterball too it seems.

Singing Ringing Hugo.

All Foghorn does is shout what's on her cards.

Another GG for a Plaidy team.

Yup The Globe.

OT78:
aye aye

Redbloke got himself a (nipponese) Ting Tong?

Did he get her at an auction? (Televised as 'Bargain C*nt'?)

Bit racist, tbf. I should apply to be on Braverman's staff.

Reg:
Oz Nick Frost hugging Weeks like a wrong-un.

Double GGs.

Glitterball? Yup as predicted.

Everything makes a profit.

OT78:
i had that raygun!

Blimey, did well too

foghorn as awful as ever with a script. hopelessly artificial.

wow. results.

golden shower!

Reg:
Hubby John must have twin hearing aids by now.

Wow. What an episode. Only needed to have Christina as presenter for it to be perfect.

OT78:
yes, splendid.
Makes up for all that Danny we had to wade through over Easter, which was about as welcome as judas iscariot at a cross dismantling.

== All Foghorn does is shout what's on her cards

Ha. Exactly. It would be borderline hilarious were it not so painful.

She addresses the audience like a 1960s package tourist bellowing a Benidorm breakfast order. 'BEANS! Comprendo? BAKED BEANS!' (thwack)

Reg:
Foghorn is INLAND EMPIRE's Phantom.




Guess who's up next?



[Comment: Unfortunately not tomorrow. Boooo. I thought you wood, I mean would, appreciate the picture.]

 

Re-up from last April with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Detling 8
Series 64
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001l061
Caroline Hawley heads to the Antiques, Vintage and Collectors Fair in Detling, Kent. With expert help on hand from Tim Weeks and Nick Hall, the red and blue teams go head-to-head to see who can buy the most profitable three items to take to auction. Meanwhile, Caroline has that shrinking feeling as she visits Bekonscot, the oldest model village in the world.

The Translation:
NOW HERE THIS, NOW HERE THIS, THIS THE FOGHORN WHISPERING QUIETLY. ARE YOUR EARS STILL BLEEDING? Yup, it's the card reading charisma killer waxing the ears of experts Plaidy and Wokesfuhrer Treepants, despite the latter wearing his special Stalingrad grade Himmler ear protectors. Will the profits wane? Auction with Harmonising Hammerer Hugo Lemon in moneyed Bucks the complete antithesis to Eldred's Undead Auction Rooms. I think you can all predict the result for today.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Caroline Town Crier Bawley with her exclusive Carpet Bombed Tartan as part of the Scoville Scale Max Rectal Prolapse Pain collection
[Red Team Expert] Nick Plaid All Over Hall
[Blue Team Expert] Tim Wokesfuhrer Reichstag Weeks
[Auctioneer] Prince Harry Hugo Singing Ringing Lemon Tree
[Auction Location] Bourne End Auction Rooms, Bucks.
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Married Charity CEO Hubby and wifey GP (BBC BAME Box Tick).
(Challenge: Outdoors)
[Blue Team] Mother and Oz Nick Frost Son-In-Law who obviously like their food. Strewth.
(Challenge: Use at a party)

The Shopping:
Reds: Cast-iron garden table and chairs (55 Challenge) good, Pair of large oak candlestick holders (75) topend, Decommissioned (=lifted?) Tower of London sign (19) good.
Blues: Knackered step-ladder (15) good, Vintage Japanese toy space gun (28) OK, Pewter cocktail shaker and soda siphon (75 Challenge) topend.

The Distraction:
Giant ogre Foghorn goes stomping around a model village. Fee-fi-fo-fum everything I bawl comes out my bum, she roars, scaring even a wild pack of Excel Bully Dogs, these are canines who are a whizz at spreadsheets. The models in the village have to abandon their saucy photoshoot and flee in terror. They wouldn't be seen dead in that outfit she's festooned in. One of them collapses in terror. The Tartan Death Shawl comes out. Jericho consumes her steaming entrails. It gives her an idea for a new outfit.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Cast-iron garden table and chairs (decent profit), Pair of large oak candlestick holders (nice profit), Decommissioned (=lifted?) Tower of London sign (good profit). GG well earned by Nick.
Plaidy's BB is a Latin-text globe (10), 30-40, 47. Well down Plaidster. He shoots and scores.

​

Blues: Knackered step-ladder (profit), Vintage Japanese toy space gun (2 note profit), Pewter cocktail shaker and soda siphon (small profit). Blimey another GG. Golden Gavel heaven.
Weeks BB is that earlier Glitterball (35), 25-35, 42. Another Grand Slam profit. Hugo confesses to having a couple at home. Really? Hugo the Disco Demon!! If he is as productive on the dancefloor as he is in the saleroom, he will beat off the Disco babes with a stick or a prize fruit wood gavel.

​

The Aftermath:
Urgh. Foghorn Bawley blinds us with not 1, not two, but 3 revolting outfits. A Tartan Gavel. Pass the Tartan Sick Bag. We'll need a picture of Princess Christina in her mesmerising green raincoat to settle us down while raising our spirits and errrrr other things. It didn't really matter what was bought today. Any old tat, which was what was bought, would be making very nice profits, as the Auction is in the El Dorado, as in mythically good fabled place of richness, and not some risible discarded BBC soap, Auction Rooms with 1-man Barber Shop quartet Hugo Harmonising Hammerer. So, singing ringing Hugo harmonises an all profit bidding session. Another Plaidy masterclass ending with a GG and a sizeable 2-figure profit. Weeks follows suit with riskier items just about making a profit, but they all squeak over in the end. Both BBs were items that both teams really wanted but didn't buy. Both made profits. Replace Foghorn with Christina and you would have had a perfect episode.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Conventional indoor kick at a weird camera angle. Once again Foghorn's Tartan straitjacket limits her upward elevation. Good kicking from everyone else. Red Bird produces a martial arts special. Yes, YES!!

​

 

on another lustful subject, I'm suffering withdrawal symptoms. Please help.

 

Uncle Eric's been caught with his chopper out. No wonder he doesn't look to enamoured. Mind it could be that today he's with Bawley and The Squeak at a Rickets Central Beardy Blackmore. With that deadly (to profit) trio then the prospects look bleak, like Stockport. If that doesn't put some someone in a bad mood nothing else will.

 

Or perhaps you'd like to see Bingo in a threesome with Bawley and Dizzie where there's full frontal Koch and Balls on display. Is it resting on Dizzie's head? Head on head action.

 

Eric skulking in the dark and ends up with a Macclesfield Mummy. Pass the pram.

Loads of groaning and that's before they've met their experts.

Red couple, BAME Box ticked. He's a acouser by the sound, or screech of it.

Engaged Blue cople. She's a catring manager. He doesn't mind losing. Well that's a first.

Hawley in her Giallo killer hat. BOOOOOO!!!!! She gives them a heart attack.

Use at a dinner part/Treen as in The Squeak's head.

That effing feather in his bloody bowler.

Blue Bloke has a tattoo like the one David Carradine had in Kung Fu.



I can see that in a sports bar bawls Jericho. A bar for avoiding then.

Scouse Bob Marley, eeeeeeeeehhhhhhhh No Woman ehhhhhh No Crrryyyyyyy.

Blue Bird, a Human League fan?

We'll come back later says Red Scouser, with a van when you're away in the bog.

Danny Squeakier than usual.

 

More bloody chairs. Is this a chair special?

More Scouse unofficial office clearance item like that desk.

I'll give you a huge discount if you just stop effing Squeaking says the Dealer.

Horse racing game, pair of Elm dining chairs, Leather Gun case for the gun you'll use to silence that loud Bawling noise.

Shelf units, wooden pestle and mortar, plan top chest for the Blues.

Losses all round then.

Gender equality in Ancient Egypt.

 

This Auction is murder.

 

Blimey a profit in Stockport!!!!

Bawley gets that Kung Fu tattooing item.



All that effort for zero profit/loss.

The slowwwwest ever bidding. It still makes a loss.

Smug looking Squeak. Smug over an enormous loss.

Diamante necklace glistenin and glowin. 12 notes worth of paste.

It actually makes a profit.

Still end 19 down. Not the usual disaster.

 

Hawley picks a witch's cauldron!

 

am looking forward to seeing that 'wtf' third blue item going under the hammer...

=="Danny Squeakier than usual. "

Viewing Partner just asked "what animal makes that noise?" as Danny started speaking

 

'Gender equality in Ancient Egypt.'

subtle BBC Lesbo propaganda

 

Ooo, a BH book...very tempted.
Is there a centrefold?

hmmm
Imagine the Illustrated BH Comic Annual this thread could generate

 

Ah, the secret stash. That explains why the Plan Top Desk was so expensive.

 

Indeed there this and at some point I will provide tasty titbits from it.

 

Chinwag, chinwag, chinwag from last June, we then revealed .............

Reg:
It's an older one but not in the database so it shoots and scores.

Squeak squeak squeak and Jericho. Should be a glorious disaster.

King Tuts tomb job lot, 50, 40 then, 10 pouuunnndssss. Thump.

Tr-eeeee-eak-eak-eeennn.

Squeak-squeak chest.

If you could find a revolting green, then Foghorn would find it. She has with that raincoat. Headache inducing.

Gender equality is mentioned in Egyptology. Big BBC tick,

What is that monstrous shirt Beardy Blackmore is wearing.

What the gun case is missing is the gun.

Disasters incoming LOL.

Horseless horse game. What were they thinking. Hahahaha.

75 notes down the drain with Foghorn.

OT78:
*rubbing hands in glee*

Moog:
World's dullest auctioneer in action. Zzzzzzz

OT78:
i do like foghorn's tarty straight 80s hair today.
Beats the medusa snakes look.

Reg:
Covid DIY kit job no doubt.

OT78:
wtf!
Only lost a fiver on that danny tat?!

Reg:
Here we go. Standby. 2o pounds on commission. LOL

Play Box jewellery.

Some real rubbish today.

Moog:
Even the drawers' meteoric rise is boring with this guy

OT78:
never thought that last thing would make 3 figs.
humbling episode.

omg.
He has done it again!

Umble pie, second helping

tbf, good surprising contest, despite the need for earmuffs

Reg:
A break even and a -19 loss. It will linger in the memory as long as Beardy Blackmore's charisma.

Giallo Killer Hawley. So Sweet, So Dreadful. A Lizard in a Woman's Skin indeed.



Uncle Eric shows us his meaty Chopper.



Beardy Blackmore's ancestors have been in the Auction profession for centuries.



Great to see Uncle Eric make his debut on The Repair Shop this evening. I'm sure there will be "Just room for one inside, Sir".



OT78:
="Uncle Eric discovers the story of 2 extraordinary Victorian ladies who brought ancient Egypt to Macclesfield, by creating a pyramid of tripe, so-called Lancashire calamari. They also came up with King Tuts faggots"

Enterprising self-employment, instead of demanding 'Giza job'.



"Why aren't you laughin'?"

 

Re-up from last June with additions.
BBC approved preamble:
Cheshire 8
Series 58
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000tqls
Eric Knowles and experts Caroline Hawley and Danny Sebastian go antiques hunting at the Royal Cheshire Showground, before heading to Stockport for today’s auction. Eric discovers the story of two extraordinary Victorian ladies who brought ancient Egypt to Macclesfield.

The Translation:
Royal Cheshire Showground is the destination for today's tat fondlers, Goblet loving Uncle Eric, Giblet wearing Hawley, and Gibbet rescuing Squeak. Beardy Blackmore at the Auction in the centre of Rickets will try and sell the guaranteed tat courtesy of Foghorn and Dustbin Dan.

​

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Uncle Eric Knowles, Steady Eddy with Sausage Ready
[Red Team Expert] Caroline Banshee Hawley, sporting her new Phal-Tsunami Tartan collection
[Blue Team Expert] Squeak squeak squeak Sebastian avec chapeau stupide et gilet shabbie
[Auctioneer] Tom Bournvita Blackmore, he's more potent than a warm mug of Horlicks
[Auction Location] Maxwell's, Stockport, Rickets Central
[Miserlin Rating] Approved

The Teams:
[Red Team] Yoga Teacher and BAME male teacher (BBC box ticked) couple, some vague sexual references, so not just friends. Traces of Scouse heard so make sure everything is nailed down.
(Challenge: Use at a dinner party)
[Blue Team] Catering Manager and Male Electrician couple, very loosely defined couple status again. BH swinging episode?
(Challenge: Treen)

The Shopping:
Reds: Vintage Horseless Horse racing game (60) struggle, Georgian dining chairs (50 Challenge) topend, 19th Century leather Gun Case (85) topend.
Blues: 3 Upcycleable metal shelf units/crates (45) oof ha ha ha, Wooden Pestle and Mortar (7 Challenge) OK, Marble-topped pine Plan chest (190) oooooooffffff LOL.

The Distraction:
Uncle Eric discovers the story of 2 extraordinary Victorian ladies who brought ancient Egypt to Macclesfield, by creating a pyramid of tripe, so-called Lancs calamari. They also came up with King Tuts faggots. No wonder they were buried alive. Gender Equality in Ancient Egypt is discussed. I Sphinx this is clutching at straws and is a Pharaoh load of tripe, so should go well with the aforementioned pyramid.. The Boy King Tuts his disapproval.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Vintage Horseless Horse racing game (loss), Georgian dining chairs (good profit), 19th Century leather Gun Case (loss).
Foghorn's BB is a Late 19th/Early 20th century brass cauldron/bucket (75), 35-50, 70, yup it's a heavy dud.

​

Blues: 3 Upcycleable metal shelf units/crates (small loss), Wooden Pestle and Mortar (nice profit), Marble-topped pine Plan chest (large loss).
Squeak's BB is a Boxed Diamante necklace costume jewellery (12), 5-10, 25. A profit for some real tat. Awful.

​

The Aftermath:
Dreadful lacklustre Auction with the Charisma machine Barry Beardy Blackmore White. His valuation room looks like a funeral parlour (see above) and this vibe descended over the bidding room. Jericho and Helium Man Dan produce some real tat which actually does better than expected despite only the 2 cheapest items on both teams making profits. Hawley's BB was an item that nobody could accurately describe, a genuine dust gatherer/foot stubber. Only the heavily overpriced Plan Chest from the Blues severely tanked, the others ran out of steam just like the punctured Auction bidding. Special mention must go to some awful Play Box paste jewellery found by The Squeak, which made a profit. Some people were desperate to part with their cash like a randy mechanical engineering student in a Berlin brothel. So the Reds win with a break even score against a -19 loss for the Blues. Still decent entertainment though.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Outdoor Covid diagonal on uneven grass. A kick of 2 halves. Reds up on time with Hawley giving us a close call full exposed Growler kick, and late Blues, with the Squeaking obviously muffling Uncle Eric's commands. Yes, YES!!

​

 

"no ,no ,no and thrice no" to paraphrase Frankie Howard. There isn't a button to respond in the manner I would like. Maybe an emoji?... (couldnt find the vomit emoji!)

 

lose bingo and bawley and we're there! well almost. (couldnt find the "eggplant" emoji)

 

Just catching up on yesterday's. My god Hawley is annoying. Thank God Nick Hall and Treepants are there to give some support along with talking dog, Hugo Lemon.