Anyone want an MC Battle?

This had the potential to be a great thread until people started bickering, so I'm going to get it back on track with my lyrics:

Yo MVP you say you got connections,
Your rumours about Welbeck give our fans erections,
Your rhymes are whack and your beats are lame,
But you come on here and now you feelin' my game.

Your keepnet is full and your bait is workin'
Your rod is pulled and you get to jerkin'
I don't know enough about you to make up any insults,
So you're making me faint and I need smelling salts.

Wooooooord.

(I was the inspiration for Eminem's character in 8 mile)

This message is intended for MVP only. If you have received this message and are offended by any of the dope rhymes, please discard. The spelling and grammar in this message may be incorrect, but this deliberate in an attempt to simulate urban coolness.

 

Let yourself down towards the end I feel Moogy. Pfft. Amateur.

 

If you can't respond in rhyme,
Then don't waste my time.

 

You got time on your hands old man, enough to waste,
Your posts have no quality, it's all copy and paste.

 

Time is abundant, geniuses are few,
Your rhymes are redundant, so just take a pew,
In the cathedral of Moog where I'll preach the gospel of lyric.
I'll rhyme in latin, greek and cyrillic.

 

You think you're Genius? That's a Myth,
In the cathedral of Moog lies Delia Smith,
You're recipes are shyte, you know it's true.
Now come on son, 'let's be 'avin you!'

 

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello - it's Dixon of Dock Green,
Your lack of talent is completely obscene,
So pack up your mic with your tail between your legs,
'Cos you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs.

 

Why talk about an omlette when you can have boiled?
I'm like a new rapping machine, I'm so well oiled,
I spit rhymes like tobacco in a bucket,
if you don't like my lines then you'll just have to ___ it.

 

Woah, up steps a resident Bookie,
Leave the rap scene alone son, you're a rookie.
In the day, you're lonesome in Ladbrokes with your Jammy Dodgers,
At night you're pitching tents over Brendan R*dgers!

 

I'll leave you kids to fight it out for 2nd place.
First is my position and you're both saving face.
Your rhymes are horrendous with no saving grace
So I'll leave you in peace as I'm outta this place.

 

Go hide yourself and lay down low,
Cos you can't handle how deep my lyrics go,
I'm like Anne Robinson, saying you're the weakest link,
my lyrics are so so sick you'll be hurling in the sink.

 

You're the Nathan Ellington of the Rapping game,
You believe you're the real deal, but seriously you're lame.
You title yourself WFCMoog The Forum Snitch,
Reality check time fella, you're a waste man who lives in a ditch.

Repping from Larrdarrnn Town, You think you're in this scene,
In truth you're a big softie, so stop trying to be mean.
Heed my advice Moog, you're a kn*b
Please don't give up you're day job.

 

Sick, you think you're a gangsta,
but in reality you're just a little wan*sta,
Your lines are juvenile, they belong in year 3,
You'll never have the power to battle rap me!

 

Dissing is missing and you're far too lost,
you'll lose this rap battle but at what cost?
When we're on the mic it's I who am boss,
I'm like a new coat of pint, with an extra shiny gloss.

 

You two continue to bicker like Ant and Dec, like flaming heck, your a total train wreck.
You gots no talents and you gots no style,
You both in my face, but just for a short while,
You gonna get beats from the words that I throw down.
You both on a train to Loserz Town

So put down you mics, before you get hurt, before you eat dirt and your blood starts to spurt.
It's time to give up, you're hearts won't take it.
You're both out of your league and trying to fake it.
Believe what I say that you're never gon' make it.

 

Battle rap you? Make sense son you're acting a ****.
Pasties to your right, sausage rolls on your left, you wonder why you're so fat?
Cut down on your pork life mate, get some exercise.
cuz in the end this rap battle will see your demise.

 

Hush now guys, here enters the master,
Relax though, I don't wanna cause a disaster,
For it is I, Mr wfcmatt
But I don't wanna start some mortal combat

 

go **** brendan rodgers and reading scum,
oh, and pull the gum out of your bum,
you're 'lyrics' are worse than wfc_dudey,
so jog along and lick out judge judie

 

Theres more of me to love, I'm a lover not a fighter,
My lyrics will set fire to you, like a 50p lighter.
So go, sit behind your desk and act like a cyber warrior,
I'm the bone collecter, kid, and you're just the borrower.

 

This session has been like Titanic hitting the iceberg,
So I've been sitting back in my throne so as to just observe
These second rate rhymes lads its a bloody disaster,
I'm the leader of the pack that all the dogs be chasing after.

 

MVP, shouldnt you be spending more time on the reading forum?

Everytime im on i see you online, do you have any type of footwear because it doesnt seem that you go out much?

 

Yo, no need to get lemon.
You're sounding like a bystander from Yemen.
Hush now, and be quiet.
I'm like slimfast, you're on an enforced diet.

WHAT?

 

i'm the gangsta equivalent of oscar wilde
my rhymes are so fresh but the content is mild
like a cup of tea i take my time to brew
i needs a few minutes to let these ideas accrue

but when i get that rush it all spews out my beak
there's nothing more magnificent than watching me peak
i'll peak on your friends and all over your face
in cockney rhyming slang they call that a soggy boat race