Somewhere at the Vic Malky - (Addresses Players) Ok! Settle doon you lot! - Now its been an upsetting week at the club and I know some of you wanted to be able to say your goodbyes to Aidy in person so.. ah here he is. (Boothroyd enters) Players - HOORAY!! DE-DE-DE-DA AIDY BOOTHROYD!! DE-DE-DE-DA AIDY BOOTHROYD!! GAFFER!! GAFFER!!! YO BOSS!!! Aidy - (Gestures to calm) Thanks, thanks so much. And thanks to Malky for letting me say a few words. You've been a smashing bunch to work with and we've had some great times. The play-off final, promotion, the Premier League, and FA Cup semi final, leading the Championship by 12 points, the list...more or less, ahem, stops there...I know that many players who started out on the journey with us have left to go onto new things, often bigger and better things, Ashley Young, Marlon King... Malky - Sietes Demerit - Martin Devaney.. Chamberlain - Matt Jackson.. Aidy - (Continues) Yes, yes!.. and I too now need to move on to pastures new. Its normal, its natural and its nothing to be upset about! I want to hear nothing about regrets from you all. I wish that it would have been under different circumstances, but I bear no ill will to anyone! Hoskins - Stuart Atwell? Aidy - (Calmly) No I've moved on.. Malky - Tamas Frisky? Aidy (Sharply) No, nor any of the so-called defenders at this club!! Tamas - (Defensively) I not get big boss tin-tack. Malky - Graham Simpson? Aidy - (Shouting) I'll tell you WHO needs a friggin' rest!! Aidy - (Expansively) But hey, hey! Forget all that..its in the past....Its been an amazing rollercoaster ride here, I want to thank you all and I leave with my head held high! In the words of my new inspiration and mentor Barrack Obama 'YES WE CAN!' Its my new motto you know! Demerit - Hmnnn, he won though didn't he?... Malky - (Clearly moist eyed) Aye boss. Aidy - C'mon give us a hug big fella!! (They hug) There there! Demerit - Where next boss? Aidy - This whole incident has given me time to assess where my strengths and weaknesses lie. Demerit - What did you conclude? Aidy - I'm at my best talking bolloiks on 'Sky Sports News'. Pundit circuit here I come!! Ker-ching, Ker-ching!! Malky - (Sniffs) The players want to say their own thanks and 'good luck' to you. Some of the younger lads have done you some drawings. Jenkins, Young and Mariappa step forward and hand Aidy some papers Young - We used lots of different coloured crayons boss. Aidy - That's..er, lovely. Thank you boys. Demerit - (Stands up) The guys, well we also had a little collection (Hands over envelope) Aidy - (Visibly moved) Ah...you shouldn't have!....Thank you!......Nice card......that's two 'O's' in 'Boothroyd' by the way.... he plays for Cardiff......(Smiles) Homebase vouchers! I love that store!!.. Demerit - Gee, we thought you would be doing alot of gardening I guess.. Aidy - I'll get a lot there with £45 - thank you all!! Malky - And did ye hear about Elton too? Aidy - Its sad Malky - So sad Aidy - So Sad. Malky - Its a sad sad situation. Aidy - And its getting more and more absurd...I told Graham Simpson that. Malky - So sad Demerit - So Sad Mariappa - (Sobbing) Why can't they just talk it over?!! Aidy - Always seems to me, that 'Sorry' seems to be the hardest.. Doyley - (Gestures) Word. Aidy - (Sighs) Well I suppose its time I went. I know you'll all be alright with Malky so all the best to you all!! - (Raises fist) And beat the Swans for me Saturday!! Players - HOORAY!! (Some sniffing and sobs) BYE!! GOD BLESS!! GOOD LUCK GAFFER!! DE-DE-DE-DA AIDY BOOTHROYD!! DE-DE-DE-DA AIDY BOOTHROYD!!... (Aidy Leaves) Malky - Bye...(Turns to players)..A great man, a great great man...Ok, but now its time to turnover a new leaf. I want to say a brief few wuds, I won't take much of ye time.. Aidy - (Pops head around the door) All the best again!! Players - Bye!! Malky - (Continues) Its a new era at the club now and for each of you a new chance. I'm not going to dwell on this too long, my philosophy is simple..(continues for 10 minutes) ...If we work hard......(another 10 minutes)....my office door is always open...(continues).. Players begin to wilt.. Eustace - Zzzzzzz...Zzzzzzz (Receives elbow from Demerit) Wha,.. Wha? Wasmarrer?...(Jolts upright) I never touched him ref!!... Malky - (Continues) So these books on yae reading lists (Points to towering pile of books) will give yae a simple grounding in wae I wannae achieve with the team.. McAnuff - Can we get these formatted for my PSP? These books have no USB port! Aidy - (Pops in again) I just wanted to say 'bye' again and Lloyd and Matt - remember what we spoke about? Application! Positioning! Ok! Good lads! Ok great, bye now!! Sorry Malky all yours!.. Malky - Bye now!..I want to emphasize that I will be looking for us to go about things in a different way - this is a new beginning and a the start of a new style of play... Aidy - (Pops in again) I forgot to say, 'stay in touch' everyone..Has everyone got my e-mail add...(Looks around) Well...Malky can give it to you..(Softly) Bye now!!.. Malky and Players - (Softly in reply) Bye!! Bye.. As I was.... Aidy - (Head around the door) 'Poke' me on 'Facebook'!...I...er..(sheepishly, whispers) bye then... Malky and Players - (Whisper in reply) Bye then!.. Malky - (Continues) Lastly an important pointer from last week - We cannot get ourselves so under pressure in our own half of the pitch!! Sorting the problem out is simple!! (Holds up a ball by way of demonstration) Doyley - (Recoils slightly) Don't be bringing that thing near me man!... Demerit - Gee I know this one! Better ball retention!! Williamson - Yes, Yes!! Better distribution!! Malky - Hell no, if in doubt lump the thing! Everyone together now...1, 2, 3.. Malky - HOOF!! Players - HOOF!! Priskin - (Sighs) Oh lordy lordy.......
:]] Excellent. I could picture Aidy's departure in the same way David Brent was sacked in The Office....keeps popping back in. Very good.
Very very funny, and I bet not a million miles from the truth. Why didn`t anyone like the long ball game anyway - we historically achieved all or success with it:]]
I never thought you would get over the loss of Hameur "berse berse" Bouazza. this is gonna run and run great stuff Moose
Top draw I found myself ROTHFLMAO people now think I am even stranger. Bubble your comparison to David Brent fantastic.
You've saved the best to last... Great read. you should post a montage of the funniest bits of your postings... or maybe your personal top five?
This is absolutely outstanding Moose... seriously pished myself reading that. Really really top draw... !!!! Hopefully some of the players will read that!!
