Things you hate III

Call the office as soon as it's open and I'm sure they will accommodate under the circumstances.

 

Did she go somewhere nice?

 

Who wants to live in the ticket office? Not much of a consolation for missing out on a season ticket, as you can't see the pitch from there.

 

Everyone loves a happy ending.

 

Tractors! Never an issue in Watford. Stuck behind one for 6 miles earlier with no way to get round!

Bloody north!

 

Punctures.

Meistermobile has a nail in one wheel. Covered 7000 odd miles. Gonna probably have to get 2 if not 4 as its 4wd at 100 quid a pop. No bloody spare either.

 

Great. Now you can sell it on with that 20% mark-up as you were planning !

 

Behind-closed-doors early pre-season friendly against Ipswich?

 

"You know what?", the all-purpose pointless prefix to any statement. Know what I mean? (That's the all-purpose pointless suffix, especially used by northerners.)

 

And Frank Bruno.

 

The good news. The tyre is being repaired for £18.
The bad news, both fronts need replacing at £120 a pop and then alignment & balancing done at £40.
It's MOT & service time in 2 weeks tax & insurance. If it all comes in at under a grand I'll be lucky.

 

Time to get yourself a nice little Nissan Micra

 

Learned to drive in one many moons ago. Had indicators on the wrong side so was a mk1 I think.

Given the meistermobile is chewing through it's tyres I might chop it in for something else. I fancy having a mid life crisis and getting something stupid.

 

http://www.oldbug.com/kkubel.htm

 

Nice but given the last meistermobile's issues and VW's woeful service I'm boycotting VAG cars.

 

Are you sure you can't be tempted?
https://www.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C1121865

 

Needs to be 2013 or newer so I can transfer my plate. But that would have been useful for going home last night.

 

A bit further north-west than that! In the Derbyshire vales!

 

That's a lovely penis compensator for under £10K and a 13 plate!

I can't look at these...

 

I have at no point ever been paid professionally to dress hair. I have on the other hand cut my own hair for the last 10 years so this may be doable.

In other news meistermovible v 4.0 fixed and in need of a wash £306 all in. Not great but could have been worse.

 

Extreme body positivity.

Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% behind the messaging that women (and BP only ever applies to women) should not feel ashamed or pressured by airbrushed, photoshopped photos of models representing fewer than 1% of real humans, but seeing obese women getting their guts out and being told they are 'beautiful' by sycophants on Twitter is just helping to cultivate an epidemic of obesity which is the scourge of our culture's health.

 

Is this related to the banner ad for plus size lingerie at the top of my screen? If so I’m in!

 

If that model is plus sized, I might need plus plus plus for my missus.

 

Scrotes who throw things on to railway tracks.

A bike was thrown on the line at Queens Park earlier and a train went over it damaging the track.
Thankfully that was the only damage done.

My evening at the theatre turned out to be a late afternoon/early evening surrounded by fellow angry, frustrated and slowly simmering commuters.

********

 

Completely agree. Take "model" Tess Holliday, who "celebrates" her size, despite being in the bracket where organ failure is just a matter of time.

The new Boots advert is on trend - two chubby birds go on holiday and go for a swim, but along the way a slim girl gets focussed on for essentially not being bigger than average.

 

What about that Tu advert?

 

People who cough everywhere on public transport without putting their hand over their mouth should face death by firing squad.

 

The army of kids that seem to spend all their time wheeling up and down my local roads and purposely cycling at cars to make them swerve out the way or cycle slowly down the middel of the road blocking it on purpose.

It won't be funny when one of them is knocked off their bike.

 

But it won't be the kid's fault when it happens.

It's the same as people who walk in the road and then glare or shout at you for having the nerve to want to drive down the road.

At the risk of sounding like Clive, forcing a social conscience on people by the threat of a Gulag would be a great idea.

 

Blindfold or no?

 

Gemma Collins. I’ve never watched her on the telly box because I don’t watch the **** she appears on, though my lad once showed me a you tube clip of her falling off a stage ( funny as **** ) anyhow, I had the misfortune of watching her on Crystal maze the other night, I literally had to turn the volume switch down because the fat **** shouted her way through the show. Vile creature.

 

Without. It's a bit too ****ing late to teach them how a ****ing handkerchief can be used.

 

Blindfolding the shooters is the way to go. It’ll give the accused a sporting chance and make for good TV.

 

Things you hate IV