Welcome to the West Ham preview, also known as “how many ******* goals will Antonio score? Or “what weird and wonderful ways will our defence **** up today!” or hopefully “That’s the Dawson I remember” or likely all three. First game back after the mid season break, an odd season to introduce the concept with the world cup next winter, but many have been calling for it for a few years. I have no idea what line up we will produce for this, given the outbreak. At least in the gap between the Wolves game and this fixture, we have players returning from isolation (or this would have gone too). So I guess it’s not going to be 14 players including u23 keepers and Doris from the cleaning company at centre back. Although she’s out of contract so might do a better job until new signings appear in Jan [that’s the most in depth this preview gets tbh]. I’m not a season ticket holder any more, in fact I don’t get to the Vic that much at all these days… “Stuff” gets in the way when you grow up, and I live an hour and a half from Watford. One “stuff” that got in the way was my first child who is now nearly old enough to hear swearing. For Xmas he’s getting a ticket to the Rookery for the first time and I’m staying at home for a quiet break. That was the plan, but turns out I have to go with him, child welfare and safeguarding and all that. That’s why I put my name down for this match preview, my first ever preview - but what a dumb idea that was, 3 days after Christmas. That’s also why you’re getting an early preview because I’m not writing this on Christmas day. West Ham Fans/Culture Never has there been a more stereotypical fanbase, aside from scousers with frizzy hair saying “calm down” a lot. Imagine Danny Dyer speaking more nonsense than usual with a few “You Irons!” or “You ‘Ammers!” chucked in among the rhyming slang. Why do they have 2 nicknames? I don’t know, do your own research. They also had Upton Park and The Boleyn Ground which turns out was the same place! It was a whole lot better than the soul free stadium they now call home. But since they’re doing OK in the league they’ve forgotten about trying to throw plastic chairs and bottles of piss at Karen Brady. They also have the bubble thing, my 9 year old is too old now for bubbles which tells you a lot, their fans are a dangerous combination of toddler and Ape. Even though people thought he supported Fulham, in fact Michael Jackson was a West Ham fan and could often be found blowing bubbles everywhere.. A recent survey found on average, West Ham fans know as many as 134 different words, which sounds a lot, but is the lowest in the league by some distance. That’s why everything is prefixed or suffixed by one of the following; Boozer, Geezer, Bloke, Slag, Knees Up or Mother Brown. The TEAM West Ham have surprised many this season and last season, but actually there are signs that it's not a fluke. You have got to admire them in a way, they could easily be as messed up as Newcastle Utd, Before Moyes arrived it’s arguable that they were - Expensive players not performing, spent a fortune and dangerously close to relegation a couple of years back Only cementing their premier league position with a win against us in “one of those games we didn’t turn up in” that were aplenty that season, Maybe we had Covid then too? Since Moyes they’ve been more organised, have a plan and seem to work well for each other. They have been well and truly on the up, and continue to be on the up, flirting with the top 4 and getting to Europe. Isn’t it odd they don’t get called “David Moyes West Ham”, despite the success, yet Aston Villa have folded and been replaced with “Stevie Gerrard’s Aston Villa” You’ve got to wonder if Man Utd actually had the right man after Ferguson - but screwed it up in other ways as they have ever since. Moyes has compiled a team with pace, a spine, solidity and a good work rate, he also seems meticulous in his planning what they do each week. They’re very good from set pieces, scoring the most from set plays last season (16) and joint 6th best this season (6). We are joint 3rd worst at conceding from set pieces, but I’m sure that we’ll be fine, absolutely fine… Exciting past meetings. click for links, go on click them. When Deeney was good Good start to the season When Igahlo was good Amazing high scoring game West Ham-ageddon Unique Facts about West Ham They are the only club team in England to have won the World Cup. Michael Antonio first played at the olympic stadium in the 110m hurdles. Karen Brady was never in one of Gold and Sullivans Adult entertainment magazines. She appeared in a different publishers. Alan Devonshire was NOT from Devon. Jarrod Bowen is the nephew of Bullseye presenter and Bus driver Jim Bowen. Stuart Slater is actually terrible at fitting roof tiles. West Ham have had 93% of their players vaccinated. Exactly 91% more than Watford. Callum Davenport is not an actual port. There is a restaurant in Bangkok that serves number 41, Declan Rice. Their reserve keeper Alphonse Areola is a bit of a ***. What do Watford need to do to win this? We need to hope the covid issue has not had a massive impact. Then 2 options; Go for it. Attack and try and score the three goals we need to draw or win the game with our defensive problems. Shut up shop. Defend and not look like scoring the three goals we need to draw or win the game with our defensive problems. Prediction; Watford 3 West Ham 2.
I enjoyed that. Thanks. I never knew that about Alan Devonshire. Wow, what a charlatan. I just hope Trevor Brooking isn’t fit for this one. Happy Christmas everyone. Let’s hope it’s a good one, and this game gets called off too.
Why? I tested positive for Covid yesterday but I don't feel too bad so I'll still be going. I'm sure thousands of others won't be put off by a few sniffles too
Knowing our luck the reduction to 7 days self isolation will make him eligible for the game whereas had it been left at 10 he would have missed it. MERRY CHRISTMAS
On the bench? Christmas family events catch some people. Some won't come because of the fear of covid. Some will have covid. Some will not be vaccinated and feel unwelcome. It's on Amazon. It's only West Ham. Not sure theres ever been more chance of empty seats since we played in the anglo Italian.
Really enjoyable preview, thanks for doing, nice early Xmas cheer. I know our squad is going to down on fatigue and lack of fitness, but if the game goes ahead we need to show the 10 or so fans who do turn up that we are still up for the fight. We haven't played since the WTE fart against Brentford - that's a while. We are the underdogs despite us being at home, and we can get a point minimum. Since the month of death, we have lost and had the next three postponed (out of our control). Since the backlog of games is going to start over the next month or so, we could use these three extra games (or more?) to pull away from trouble. Rotherham showed last season how to totally mess that up, and we are Watford after all. Who is going to be back? God knows, although I think he might even be stumped on that one. I'll pluck for an unlikely point, and a platform to begin a generous points tally going into 2022. Watford 1 West Ham Sandwiches 1
Happy Christmas to all on the forum. And to whichever players are fit enough to read the thread. Both of them.
I’ll be going to this in hope rather than expectation. But without the hope part. The enforced break definitely is well timed for us and our injuries, but who knows who will be available and how fit they will be? If some of our players are unvaccinated (likely) they may still be suffering by the 28th. West Ham are a strong side and will be too good for us. Prediction Watford 6-0 West Ham Dennis (23, 45), Doris the Cleaner (52), Big Bazzler (78, 82, 90+3 pen)
Am I being whooshed? You're not really this much of a kunt are you, Lloyd? I'd be surprised, but then again that's probably a ludicrous statement to make in the context of an internet football forum.
Pretty sure Lloyd has morphed into a parody/wind up account of late, or perhaps he always was and I just missed the subtleties.
Kuckas pocket would be one of those big ones on the front of a pair of worn grimy dungarees that psychopathic mechanics from Alabama might wear .
Spam were pretty poor today, Southampton deserved it overall but I think that is the result we didn't need today. They will be fired up to get back on track and it's going to be a tough game for us. What is the most concerning is we have no idea who is fit for Saturday, and whoever plays are not going to be match fit. However, we have had a prolonged rest in regards to injuries, but that matters little if half of our squad in the starting eleven still have lingering illness side effects.
And I thought you would have known of all people what day of the week we play West Ham, not sure I can believe a word you say in the future haha!
I don’t think it’s always the case that when a team loses they’ll be fired up, as you say, to get back on track. In the Spammers’ case, they’ve overachieved so far this season, they know they’re safe from relegation, and they’re having a bit of a mid season dip of form. Long may that continue. Can’t imagine they’ll come to the Vic 2 days after that with all guns blazing, especially if Declan Rice is missing. But I agree there’s no reason to believe we’ll get anything from this game, partly for the reasons you’ve outlined about illness. But mainly because we haven’t been winning games we should or could. We have too many weak links at the back, and until the players we have available can step up and play like professionals, then the form of the opposition is fairly irrelevant
So they have lost a few in a row and have no defence. Even more certain to beat us. And it seems Antiono is back..
Looking forwards to this one, we need to get those 3 points, whilst they are on a terrible run of form. Got my Tickets along with Mrs Doughnut in the Sir Elton John, looking forwards to re-connecting with my old mates. By the way, this is hilarious : Karen Brady was never in one of Gold and Sullivans Adult entertainment magazines. She appeared in a different publishers.
**** knows who is available, judging by social media Louza and Kiko are doing work at home so they're potentially missing? Nothing else matters except Morris starting tomorrow.
Can anyone work out why, if you don’t upload your vaccination status in advance, the club seem to be saying they will only accept proof of a recent lateral flow test for entry? Surely I can show my vaccination status from the same app instead?
It doesn't make sense. I have my 3 jab pass on my phone, that is all they will get from me. None of it makes sense. They must of worked hard to make it all so confusing and not make any sense.
