War Against Christmas - Recruits Needed

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Clive_ofthe_Kremlin, Sep 25, 2021.

  1. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    Moose likes this.
  2. I think it should just be every 4 years, like the World Cup. The only films on TV should be The Great Escape, The Alamo, and The Magnificent Seven.
  3. AndrewH63

    AndrewH63 Reservist

    If that happened what films would be on Easter Monday? This sounds like a transitional demand from a closet Julie Andrew’s fan.
  4. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    You can ban all of the aforementioned, but if anyone tries to take away my “Ratpack Sings Xmas” cd I will hack their feet off with a rusty saw.
  5. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    So when should they show Christmas films?
  6. HeiaWatford

    HeiaWatford First Year Pro

    The real Ratpack wouldn't eff about with a Xmas album.
    Just incase you expect them coming down your chimney leave them some Jaffa cakes.
  7. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    They look like they might not be satiated by just a packet of biscuits .
  8. HeiaWatford

    HeiaWatford First Year Pro

    Leave em a couple of ecstasy and it'll be candy.
  9. a19tgg

    a19tgg Squad Player

    I’m currently on the sofa with man flu, first GMB showed the latest John Lewis Xmas advert, then 5 minutes later Lorraine ran it again.

    Won’t we get to see the thing enough over the next 7 weeks as it is?
  10. Jumbolina

    Jumbolina First Team

    I’m pleased to report I sang carol of the bells in the shower this morning, so I’m ready for the festive season to begin in earnest.
  11. hornmeister

    hornmeister Club Legend

    Any shop that is playing Xmas carols before Dec 1st loses my business.
  12. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Every so often there is a feature on a man who celebrates Xmas everyday, Andy Park.

    But I don’t believe he was the first one. Iirc there was a far more miserable fella who started this back in the 1970s/80s and was interviewed about it on TV looking thoroughly unhappy.

    Anyone else recall?
  13. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    There's a black mirror episode where a blokes punishment is to be stuck on Christmas day for eternity. Horrific.
  14. a19tgg

    a19tgg Squad Player

    White Christmas, fantastic episode.
  15. Keighley

    Keighley Squad Player

    Was it Roy Wood?
  16. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Reservist

  17. Smudger

    Smudger Messi's Mad Coach Staff Member

    Like all the other holidays it's just an excuse for companies to try and part as much money as they can from your wallet by making you feel like old Ebenezer if you declare it all to be humbug. It's just another pagan festival adopted by Christianity which for many seems to have lost all it's real meaning and is an excuse to binge, feel depressed and buy lots of useless tat. Making those that cannot afford it feel terrible and for many who are lonely, depressed or homeless feel even worse than they were.

    The few things I enjoy about Christmas is having a cosy together with family unlike last year and possibly this, carols and some excellent Christmas films which do try and show the meaning of the season but are often forgotten about. Miracle on 34th Street. National Lampoons Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Carol with Alistair Sim.
  18. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    In M and S today and faced my yearly depression on the range of Xmas products already on sale .
    What made me chuckle were some Colin the Caterpillar Xmas Swiss rolls with a sell by date of Nov 28th 2021.
  19. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    Jesus being born every day of the year ?

    It’s a good thing he was born by immaculate conception otherwise Mary would have been sore as fxck.

    Thinking about Mary’s immaculate conception , maybe she was the OG to the too posh to push brigade ?
  20. Harefield Yellow

    Harefield Yellow Academy Graduate

    That effing Pogues drivel. I hated it the first time I heard it back in 1987, and despise it more with each passing year.

    If ever I meet The Pet Shop Boys I will gladly buy them a drink for keeping it off the No. 1 spot. I guess now that 'Last Christmas' finally made it to the top at the start of the year, there'll be an all-out crusade to get this unmitigated horse-poo there too.
  21. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Unmitigated shyte I agree. Worse than 'mistletoe and wine'. Worse even than that rrrrummm pummm pudddy pummm Jonah Louis dirge they put on endlessly.

    However it still has some way to go to out -bollock that Driving Home for Christmas outrage by Chris Diarreah. As seen on rubbish TV adverts every year. The epitome of middle class, range rovin', consumer-fest bland mediocrity. You can just picture the male ones barrelling along the middle of the road in the Chelsea 4x4 with that on the radio. The type that talk about 'my Christmas'.

    When future historians try to explain to their students about the rampant consumerism that caused all the climate change problems, I expect they'll play that song as part of the course.
  22. wfcSinatra

    wfcSinatra Predictor Choker 14/15

    ******* hell people on here are miserable! I love Christmas. People smile at you, there's love all around, I get two weeks off, the family gets time off work so you get to see everybody, it's a great time.
  23. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Right on brother, it’s one of the worst songs ever recorded.

    I like the socialising and the booze and the time off work but I hate everything else being rammed down your throat. **** music, **** films, **** traditions, the mess, the clutter, the waste and the stress people put themselves through to make sure it’s the best day of the year… which it never is.

    I’ve married into a family of Christmas nazis. I wanted to go away for this Christmas and relax at the end of a stressful year. Not allowed because her parents would apparently be genuinely offended.

    I keep getting told to text my mother in law a wish list of presents… The response that I’m a grown man and if I want something I’ll buy it and I don’t want clutter for the sake of it doesn’t butter any parsnips unfortunately.

    My offer to cook and have the in laws and various partners round on Boxing Day was accepted but I’m only allowed to cook roast beef. Just what you want after a day of meat, gravy, cheese and cake…. ‘But that’s the family tradition so like it or ******* lump it pal’.

    I’m a miserable ****. I blame Brendan Rodgers.
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2021
  24. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    Liked for that line alone.

    In the gloating thread where I mentioned my dad grew up supporting Plymouth Argyle, it was a godsend that my parents decided to up-sticks from Plymouth and move hundreds of miles from the extended family, it meant that Christmas was just my parents, my brothers and me. We never had 25 people around a table and punch ups. Since we've all grown up an left home a long time ago, my parents expect us to do our own family Christmases and create our own traditions. Which is great as there is no pressure to please anyone, there has always been the Boxing Day invite, which apart from last year has been taken up on, it meant that we got our dinner cooked for us and watch a bit of football.

    Our Christmas tradition is loosely on the lines of my parents system, Christmas Day is just for us. As my wife is Peruvian we have our Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve* in the early evening, then that means Christmas lunch is leftovers with some fresh spuds (or rice as my wife prefers that).

    * Peruvian tradition is usually to have Xmas dinner at the stroke of midnight at the end of Christmas Eve but eating a big meal at that time is just plain ridiculous.
  25. WillisWasTheWorst

    WillisWasTheWorst Its making less grammar mistake's thats important

    Boxing Day is for football, surely? Not for inviting the family round.
  26. Lloyd

    Lloyd Squad Player

    I'm sure Wolverhampton will feel nice and 'christmassy' this boxing day
  27. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    I’m in your camp - love Christmas and especially the build up. I don’t like the early build up, but just ignore it. From mid December, though, I’m in. Love the food, love the lights, love the films (especially Elf).
  28. It's for inviting the family round, and then going out for 5 hours to the footy.
    WillisWasTheWorst likes this.
  29. Clive_ofthe_Kremlin

    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin Squad Player

    Who gets to carve the roast guinea pig?
    lm_wfc likes this.
  30. Otter

    Otter Gambling industry insider

    I have spent 3 Christmases in Peru, only the first time I did the midnight feast because we didn't have children then, we had a hog on a spit.

    On Christmas Eve in the daytime in 2016 I did have a guinea pig for lunch at my wife's uncle's house, though. He had a guinea pig farm.
  31. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    Boxing Day football is the perfect excuse to get out of the house and back to normailty.
  32. Cassetti's Beard

    Cassetti's Beard First Team

    Christmas is great as I simply just don't do the ***** stuff around Christmas that I don't like.

    Christmas work party? No thanks, haven't been in 8 years. Shopping for presents? Amazon Prime delivery, thank you! Christmas songs? Nope, not until a few days before Christmas. This year is even better as I'm WFH permanently so don't have to deal with the weirdos decorating the office from top to bottom with cheap tinsel or the home-made mince pies Linda keeps bringing in despite no one eating them because they taste like ****, Linda.

    Over two weeks off work, plenty of nice food and drink, seeing friends and family, boozy nights down the pub, lots of Football on, not knowing what day of the week it is, brilliant.
    The undeniable truth likes this.
  33. a19tgg

    a19tgg Squad Player

    Now I work for myself it’s nice to have the prospect of being able to have two weeks off and just relax.

    In my last proper job people used to get so wound up about Xmas, every year was the same with members of my team almost coming to blows about who got to have time off. One girl was from Ireland so absolutely had to go back to see her family every single year, so because of that she could apparently never work it. Likewise the person who was from Poland was exactly the same. Another one used to pull a guilt trip about wanting to book a holiday over Xmas so she could spend time with her kids, even though she’d go away at least twice a year without them with her bloke.

    This would all start being debated in July, and despite getting their own way the previous year (and every year before that) and promising to take it in turns the following year, it would all get forgotten again, and the prospect of working any days around Xmas was greeted as if you’d asked them to inject themselves with aids.
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2021
  34. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    A preferable alternative to catching a Christmas advert on the telly.

    You know you’re ****ed when the entire nation loses its **** because Aldi have a sprout in a Santa hat or because Shane Ritchie has done a maudlin cover of a Bananarama song or something for the John Lewis advert.
    a19tgg likes this.
  35. BigRossLittleRoss

    BigRossLittleRoss First Team

    I thought footballers had to work over Xmas .

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