Three Interesting True Facts About Yourself

Sure. You keep saying that.

 

Oh really? Explains the hair colour.

She looks a bit ‘angular’ for my tastes.

 

1. I've been on TV (Wide Awake Club on TVAM in the 80s)
2. I've been to a disputed territory (Northern Cyprus)
3. For my physics dissertation in 1998 I did cricket ball flight calculations which was then used as a precursor to DRS.

 

Is this you on the right?

 

1) I once scored the winning goal , during extra time , in a semi final .
2) I was at the Scarborough 0-0 Watford fa cup 3rd round in 1994
3) I have met John Lydon

 

I once scored my uni football team's "Goal of the season". It was a 35 yarder. It was an own goal. (I was by the touch line intercepting a nippy winger's run and trying to hoof it out for a corner)

 

Was the interview in relation to the running you didn't do?

 

1. My grandfather was at Wembley Stadium for the ‘White Horse’ first Cup Final there in 1923 as a West Ham supporter.
2. My dad was at Wembley Stadium for the Henry Cooper v Cassius Clay ‘split glove’ fight in 1963.
3. I have been at Wembley Stadium for all of Watford’s appearances there (including the league games v Spurs).

 

Here's one, I once got employee of the month at a place where I didn't work, including my picture.

 

1. I love fishing.
2. I live abroad.
3. I am a pool king.

 

Nothing that interesting about the third one, neither have I.

 

1. My mother’s father was Chief Engineer at a munitions factory in WW2 and worked with Barnes Wallis.
2. As a child I was in the audience for a recording of Sooty (in the days of Harry Corbett) and grew up to marry the daughter of Harry Corbett’s accountant.
3. When my dad’s mum was 80, my dad was 53 and I was 27 (53 + 27 = 80). The thing is… we all shared the same birthday.

 

1. Kirstie Allsopp once asked me "do you know who I am?" on a phone call at work.
2. I have been on the front page of the Watford Free Observer (is that still a thing?)
3. I once ID'ed a Watford academy player when working in the bookies, before realising who it was.

 

Worked in a bank as a first proper job in my teens early/twenties, it used to shut at 12 on Saturdays. Predictably it would get ridiculously busy leading up to so you’d have to guard the door in order to let people out but not let people in.

Anyway, one Saturday it was my job and about 12:15ish Max Clifford pulled up, told him we were closed and I got the same “Do you know who I am” rubbish, so I delighted in saying, no I have absolutely no idea. He took my name (so he knew who I was) and said he was going to make a complaint, but I never heard anymore about it.

 

Haha!

Kirstie was a bit prickly to begin with, but once she realised I wasn't going to treat her any differently she did eventually settle down.

 

Not to mention he died in prison after being convicted of a string of sexual assaults…

 

The obvious answer to "do you know who I am?" is to ask if the person requires an ambulance, given they appear to be suffering severe memory loss. Or suggest they check their underwear to see if their mum has sown a name tag label in.

 

I’ve also spoken to a few ‘celebs’ on the phone in a previous work role actually (financial services that would be likely to cover the odd celeb due to the sums involved), Jade Jagger was an utter bitch, actually spoke to Cat Woman Amanda Staveley too, she was surprisingly nice and pleasant (but never answered the phone to me again)

 

I had Christmas lunch with Mick Jones of the Clash. I was in a band that supported Roy Harper at Dingwalls. I had my picture in the Guardian confronting an EDL moron.

 

I have waved a little flag at every single one of Watford FC’s FA Cup Final appearances.

I have a personalised copy of the autobiography ‘Long Walk to Freedom’ signed by Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela.

I was a star player in the ‘West Herts Main Drainage’ football team.
We played like sh1t.

 

I had a holiday job at WHMD’s place at Maple Cross when at uni. It literally comprised shovelling 5h1t & the weeds growing in it from between the ‘conveyor belt’ type equipment.

 

These keep popping into my head. I once took a pee standing next to Simon Le Bon at his brothers wedding, (his brother spray painted my Cortina).

 

Snap!
Those weeds soon grew into triffids with all that organic human fertiliser sh1t

 

In the order they occurred:

1. When I was 18 I was forced to change my name by deed-poll due to the inability of the local office of (the then) DHSS to accurately process my details in their 'system'
2. While at Uni I declined an invitation to meet the Duke of Edinburgh
3. Whilst working for my first full-time employer Nigel Gibbs & Worrell Sterling spent 2 hours one day a week for about 8 weeks in my department as part of their 'extra-curricular' educational requirement whilst being apprentices at WFC. I had agreed to be their 'mentor' and was required to set them tasks linked with 'business' and then assess them so as to give feedback to their course tutor. Gibbs was as bright as a button and seemed quite engaged by it all; Sterling less so!

 

1. My photo was the lead item on the BBC 10 o'clock news - picketing

2. I was the interpreter for Che Guevara's daughter Aleida at her book signing in Oxford and her talk to medical staff at the hospital there.

3. I briefly got accused of being a 'Cuban spy' in Mexico once.

 

Only ‘accused’?

 

Well, it was nothing a swift double tap to the forehead, smash through a first floor window, run across the airfield and shimmy up the wheels of a departing jet couldn't solve.

 

WTFF? Isn't Ada a bit "linuxy"? Do you use an iphone as Android is, basically, cut down linux.

 

I always say, don’t worry Matron will be along soon and will be able to help you!