Things you hate IV

So do you have a problem with lartays and mockers too ?

 

Mmmm thick and oily. I want to feel I’m about to have a panic attack after my morning coffee.

 

Lartay? Do you mean a La-Teh?

 

Wait....not lifting it up is a thing?

 

The common denominator at all of the places you have worked is ...you.

J'accuse!

 

Have you ever had a Greek/(Turkish) coffee? Stronger than an espresso, with the grounds in the bottom.

 

Thick and oily <insert pic of Duxbury and Pozzo here, in any order>

 

Thick and Oily, Scott Duxbury and Brendan Rodgers’ new stage show featuring an hour of slapstick, farce and motivational speaking.

 

Basically stop drinking it about 1cm before you reach the bottom.

Most places you rent in the Balkans come equipped with one of these to make it in...



Take your eye off it for one second and it WILL boil over.

 

I need one that works on an induction hob.

 

Love that type of coffee. Long while ago I had a flat mate who used to make it. Like drinking tar, but really flavoursome.

 

The old 'Bubble' who runs the small cafe in Aycliffe Park in the 'Wood virtually broke down in tears when I asked him for one of these an [moog_check_pronouciation]elniko[/moog_check_pronouciation]. So much so that I also got a free 'nip' and what I can only assume is paintbrush cleaner.

 

Grand Designs.
Is every couple now a giant pair of c***s and every house utterly sh*te? Especially the one in Rickmansworth last week, (or as the c****s described it, Chess Valley)?

Tonights episode is obviously completely overseen by a classic Karen.

 

Our forever home ❤️

 

Don’t diss Kevin.

 

No of course not, the man's an institution, but much as I love old Kev, I think he's starting to lose the plot these days. I wish he'd just be honest and call the couple's out on the muck they're building.

Grand Designs used to be quite the watch, now it's a bit of a car crash as the next monstrosity is revealed.

 

Too poetic and too gushing with his praise for some real monstrosities.

 

I’ve quite enjoyed the show in the past, but I can never relate to the couples and their need to have their dream realised. It seems an empty ambition to me and I wonder how much the show itself has provoked the behaviour.

 

People who constantly edge forward at traffic lights trying to pre-empt it turning green, yet when it eventually does they’re somehow not ready to move.

 

It’s like on Countryfile when they sample the local produce made out of seaweed or old beard trimmings. It’s always ‘delicious’.

Matt Baker is never going to spit it out and say ***sakes, that’s ***king nasty!

 

The Ricky house is a few doors along from casa mia. The show didn't manage to capture quite how hideous the place is (God knows what you must have in mind to be denied planning permission by Three Rivers these days) or what a gruesome twosome the owners are

 

Reasonable to ram them with your car imo.

 

I don't agree. You have to read between the lines a bit with Kevin. When he doesn't gush (and he doesn't, always) then you know he actually thinks it's ****.

But there is a sense in which those doing the designs are now doing it just to be on TV, rather than because they are doing something genuinely interesting, so I agree that the show is not what it once was. I still enjoy it, though, partly because some of the couples and the designs are so awful.

Mrs Keighley always comments "why do they need somewhere that large?".

 

Last night's house was a complete carbuncle. They looked like they'd built a Travelodge from the outside.

 

Where is it? I don't watch GD, but interested in ghastly homes

 

I personally liked the upstairs view of that stunning Derbyshire landscape that you had to crouch down to see because of the bonkers roof.

 

I may be showing my age here but I always think how much these palaces are going to cost to heat.

 

...I don't normally like tomatoes John, but this is...

 

Or even worse, they stall it whilst you're behind them and they only manage to get it started again just as the light is going red. So they get through but leave you sitting another 5 minutes as the side road you're trying to get out of is now last in a complicated 4-direction lights sequence.
Utter cnuts.

 

You would think anyone with half a brain would build with very high standards of insulation, a ground source pump and include solar panels.

Cleaning, hoovering and dusting would be a massive faff though, unless you pay for others to do it for you.

 

As has been hinted at the problem with Grand Designs now is that most of the houses exist to be on Grand Designs.

You used to see genuinely determined and creative people on there. Now it’s only yuppies or a pretty bland build with an extra bit of sob story.

There was one a few years ago where the couple wanted to fill the vast open space in a converted cow shed with shelves and cabinets for their collection. All the amazing artefacts they’d gathered on their extensive travels. When Kev went back it was just a museum of straw donkeys and key rings.

 

Just?

JUST?

 

Costs nothing to heat it with the power of smug.