The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Moose, May 29, 2022.

  1. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    God save the Queen! She ain’t no human being…

    It’s a holiday, yay, but bunker down for wall to wall pundits outdoing each other in Royal sycophancy and general bum licking this week.

    If you are unfortunate enough to encounter the fanciful and bizarre coverage on TV, radio, the papers and social media, or even in your street, share the daftest and worst of it here.
     
  2. Keighley

    Keighley First Team

    Usual leftie nonsense. :rolleyes:
     
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  3. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    No, I think you’ll find people keen on the jubilee are more inclined towards monarchy and nationalism than socialism.

    I never have problems with a holiday, but the Country is about to lose its collective mind, weeping over pictures of Elizabeth aged 9 aw she was just like a normal child (sobbing follows) or her in her twenties waving a gloved hand from a Land Rover at an African nation’s Generals, shortly before it descended into post-colonial warfare she had a poise and an elegance that belied her modest years.

    And that collective craziness is worth a giggle, surely?
     
  4. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    If you have any doubts just how barking things Royal can get, view this, now hilarious, Gogglebox reaction to the 2018 Royal Wedding.

     
  5. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

    I live in Windsor so it’s going to be pretty unbearable, they’ve organised a street party with wristbands and everything, got to move your car out of the street the night before as well. Annoyingly I’m busy the day before and the day after, could’ve done with being out all day.
     
  6. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Oh dear, you appear to have made yourself a hero to barmy Royalists. Thoughts and prayers.
     
  7. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    My 5 and 7 year old daughters are rolling around in the garden at the moment hitting each other with a space hopper while singing the national anthem. Make of that what you will.

    The youngest also told me quite happily at bedtime a couple of nights ago that the Queen will die soon.

    Jubilee teaching at its finest at school it seems.
     
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  8. sydney_horn

    sydney_horn Squad Player

    I don't see myself as a royalist but you have to admit the Queen's reign has been both extraordinary and historic.

    It's amazing to think that nobody under the age of 70 has experienced life under any other monarch.

    And whatever you think about royalty, the Queen has conducted herself with tremendous dignity despite having to deal with very public family scandals and absolute fools like Johnson.
     
  9. StuBoy

    StuBoy Forum Cad and Bounder

    Whilst it is amusing watching people get their knickers in a twist about celebrating this latest Jubilee and fawning over our Royal overlords, I also find it amusing watching people getting their knickers in a twist about the people who are doing the bum licking etc etc...

    Anyway, our road seems to be having a street party, so weather permitting my plan is to drink beer in the street with the neighbours. Maybe I'll raise a glass at some point to her maj.
     
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  10. Since63

    Since63 Squad Player

    ....remember when we were the future?
     
  11. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    I take your point and have no problem with street parties and the like, even the odd documentary that documents how this one inscrutable figure has been an ever constant through our lives. And you can always turn it off if it’s not your thing.

    However, the thing can be a bit inescapable, constantly high in the news, all over the schedules and front pages. There is a feeling of regimented celebration and excessive worship that verges on hysteria.

    But some of that hysteria is also very funny. So this is a thread for the worst of that and you can always take your own advice and keep your knickers unentangled when half the Country has a good laugh about the next ridiculous, adoring speech by Alan Titchmarsh or Richard Madeley.
     
  12. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    It’s been a while. :(
     
  13. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Sounds like a sketch Vic and Bob might have done.
     
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  14. Lloyd

    Lloyd Squad Player

    Unfortunately my struggles this morning with a gazebo and Union Jack bunting for a modest 'do' we are planning in honour of Her Majesty were not captured on film. I would have posted it to give you all a laugh at my staggering incompetence if it had been
     
    sydney_horn likes this.
  15. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    It’s what doctors call ‘the Gazebo Effect’.

    There is a moderate breeze, so FFS tie it or weigh it down, or your neighbours will get the effect of a gazebo on the bonce.
     
  16. Lloyd

    Lloyd Squad Player

    The ropes were one of a number of components I had over at the end. I'm sure they're not important.
     
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  17. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

    Sick of hearing about it.

    While we have food banks and astronomic energy bills I'd rather the money was spent on those, instead of kissing some elderly privileged woman's ar$e.
     
  18. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Windsor? Ground zero, so to speak. Thoughts and prayers.
     
  19. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Anything royal does my head in, can’t stand it.

    Not sure what my local funeral director is trying to say with this….

    97C905D9-2A12-4820-85BE-AB946602B774.jpeg
     
  20. Arakel

    Arakel First Team

    Well it does say on the sign that he is a D1ck.
     
  21. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Street party in St. Ives, Cambs in the shadow of Olly Crowell's statue has a nice irony to it, or should i say bronzey.

    upload_2022-5-29_23-34-49.jpeg
     
  22. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    You don't have to be on the left to be a UK (or living in the UK) republican. Just ask Frankie Dettori.

    upload_2022-5-30_0-3-0.png
     
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  23. reg_varney

    reg_varney Squad Player

    Is that Wedgewood JasperWare she's wearing. It must be bloody heavy. No wonder she has episodic mobility problems.

    upload_2022-5-30_0-25-50.png [​IMG]
     
  24. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    Huzzah! People to eat lunch on a day the Queen is also eating lunch!

    056668E4-D311-4A4F-A045-E0E7532C49F4.jpeg
     
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  25. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

    Are the other 50m or so on hunger strike? Or just dieting to get their summer bodies ready?
     
  26. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    I echo this view about the Queen but also have zero interest in the hysteria surrounding the Jubilee or even the Jubilee itself. The extra holidays don’t even have any positive impact for us as they are in the middle of a half term when we can’t do anything we would want to (like go on holiday) as my youngest daughter is in the middle of her GCSEs. There is some kind of picnic going on for the people who live in our road and a neighbouring one. Luckily, it’s being held in the other road (which is the other side of the wood that we live alongside) so I can pretend we’re out that day and can’t make it. A large proportion of the people who live around us are what I call the “tweed jacket” brigade who I have zero desire to spend my free time with. If I did turn up, it would only be so I could wear my “Keep The Ban” anti fox hunt t shirt and drink from my Watford FC mug, as I’m sure both would horrify some of the snobby old codgers.
     
  27. sydney_horn

    sydney_horn Squad Player

    I'm the same. I won't be partaking in any of the organised events and will make the best use of my streaming accounts to avoid the nauseating TV coverage.

    But if others enjoy it then good luck to them. I'm not sure of the economics but I suspect that, overall, the events and world wide publicity will generate a net gain for the economy from retail sales and tourism so the expense is not something that bothers me either.
     
    HappyHornet24 likes this.
  28. The undeniable truth

    The undeniable truth First Team Captain

    I'm celebrating and getting into the festive mood by flying to Finland at 7.30 Thursday morning (cancellations permitting) and not coming back til Monday night.
    Hopefully it will all be over by then.
     
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  29. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Lovely.

    I’ll have to get away from the country when she does eventually shuffle off. Think North Korea might be a good shout.
     
  30. a19tgg

    a19tgg First Team

    Another of the ambivalent crew. I’m not against them and don’t care that they get to lead a privileged lifestyle (if the whole lot were disbanded tomorrow nobody’s life would be any better for it) but equally don’t give a toss about them and don’t have any interest in them. Living locally when Kate and will got married I stayed at home and worked on the garden.
     
  31. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Squad Player

    Hysteria is the word.

    A couple of things are particularly annoying me - one is the local council spending a considerable amount of money on it, when a lot of people are having serious hardship. The other is kids at primary schools being forced into a cult of personality for the queen in a way that is usually only for men with big moustaches and lots of medals in the middle East.
     
  32. AndrewH63

    AndrewH63 Reservist

    We are having a street party, because it’s one of the few occasions people get together and w3 are allowed to clear the road of cars for street games for the kids. I am picking up a 18 pint mini poly of Tring Ridgeway, will happily sit and drink through that with a few of the neighbours. Would prefer to have the street party every year on the summer solstice or St Albans Day, but until then we will grab every chance we can go build a bit of street cohesion beyond what’s app messages about burgers se3n on ring door bells.
     
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  33. Cthulhu

    Cthulhu Keyboard Warrior Staff Member

    https://www.thegazeboeffect.co.uk/
     
  34. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

    The locals will doubtless express sympathy towards you and their disbelief at how you can live in a cultish, one party state.
     
    Filbert likes this.
  35. Moose

    Moose First Team Captain

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