World Cup General Discussion Thread - 2030 The Jokes On You

Yet, he thinks he's a great footballing sage rather than the onion he really is.

 

Another Latin slugfest:

 

I hate the feeble banter between commentator and sidekick.

 

Totally agree. No need for a co-commentator. The commentators just need to engage with the audience more instead of relying on a backup. And there are too many pundits in the studio too. Some of them have never kicked a ball in the premier english league in their lives.

 

What’s the betting the words Messi Masterclass are uttered from Linekar at full time

 

I have a feeling Holland will knock Argentina out.

 

I can't see this Argentina team winning this World Cup.

 

They gotta justify their air fare with their plaudits

 

Football comms without a co-commentator would be very, very weird now. Whether the commentators and their sidekicks are any good is a separate argument but just going back to the 1970s and having one person in the commentary box would not improve anything.

Nor should kicking a ball in the Premier English League [sic] be any sort of criteria. After all, Arsene Wenger, Alex Ferguson, Jurgen Klopp, Pep Guardiola have never kicked a ball in the Premier English League but they would all be worth listening to.

The media bookers are seeking a blend of styles and voices and over a four-week tournament there's room for a lot of variety. The problem is, our ears are actually quite sensitive when it comes to commentary and punditry. My Dad couldn't stand Brian Moore, for example, and I could never really work out why. He just didn't like the Grrrrr he added to certain bits of his commentary. He didn't like the fact he said "scoreline" instead of score. I literally cannot stomach one second of Sam Matterface, so I have to put the radio on if he's on TV.

People get very worked up about commentary but really the whole experience is a lot more enjoyable if you just tolerate the Danny Murphys (or whoever your own personal Danny Murphy is) and recognise that as you have literally zero influence over who the broadcasters select. The panels are not going to go back to the days of having Lawro and Shearer and when Martin O'Neill was somehow an exotic presence. Times have changed, and for the better in almost all ways.

Anyway, the only people losing out by having a strong reaction to the commentators and pundits are those who can't dial down the irritation. Manage to do that and all of a sudden the football is a lot more enjoyable.

Although I have to admit, Danny Murphy pushes my quest for commentary zen to the absolute bloomin' limit. And Matterface is way, way over the line and I will not stand for it!

 

Alan Shearer was co-commentator on a match the other day. He was pretty good tbh.

I always think the chat between the commentator and co is like when we go to matches and make inane comments to our mates in between plays!

 

Here in Serbia, we pretty much never have co-commentators for football games. We do for basketball games, but I can't remember last time we had them, must have been years ago.

I see no need for them. I've watched plenty of games with English commentary too and I just think it's unnecessary.

 

Danny Murphy was wearing his Messi Nappy again. "Oh, Oh, not one wrong pass, Oh, Oh, not one wrong decision, Oh, Oh, Arrrruuuuuuuuuggghhh."

The Virtue Masturbating going on for Messi, Brazil, and Mbappe is so embarrassing. Adults dribbling like complete dullards, which I suppose most of them are.

 

Barry Davies, the Man For All Seasons and all sports. A superb all-round commentator.

 

Absolutely. Very much about the quality of the main commentator I think. Sky Sports red button midweek EFL service runs as a slimmed down one man band and boy does it show at times. I still remember the Preston away game in the Xisco promotion season when the commentator spent a good five minutes talking about the train timetable between London Euston and Manchester. Sure, the game was pretty dire and I’ve no idea now how he got onto it, but wow did he get stuck on that topic.

 

When I watch old footage of football on tv (70s, 80s or earlier), or occasionally see football in other English speaking countries (Ireland mainly), what strikes me is that “pundits” and to an extent co commentators in such footage are at least sometimes sports journalists rather than ex-players. To me, that makes sense - people whose job it is to know about and analyse a game of football, doing exactly that, to help the audience appreciate what they are seeing in better detail.

What we get now are people who happen to have been good at playing football, but it’s not always the same thing. Some of them are ok - I like Keane and Ferdinand for example - but I just think the whole thing could be improved with actual experts. But of course the tv people also like celebrities, as do many fans, so ex-footballers are more of a draw. If anything, making the cast of these pundits more diverse/representative - no bad thing per se - probably entrenches this celebrity culture even further, because ex footballers are going to present a much wider range of options to select for a panel (racially and now gender), than journalists probably would.

 

Would be the most Sarr-y (?) thing ever for him to wipe the floor with us tonight, and be totally anonymous against Huddersfield

 

Perhaps he meant his dad?!

 

Plucky from the Aussies although I do think Hoad, Rosewall and Laver should have come on earlier.

Unlike the master tactician Hopman to miss that.

 

Messi slides a shot that fortunately goes through the legs of a defender, keeper sees it late, and the man is labelled a genius like he's split the atom with an old spoon.

Cue Rio Ferdinand blathering on about a touch that set up the shot like no-one has ever trapped a slow moving football before, while on screen Messi is highlighted running into the area just in case we failed to pick him out.

You can't spell Messiah without Messi, eh?

 

My favourite bit of analysis from the game yesterday was Ferdinand showing us how Australia were attempting to press Messi and basically just showed clips of whenever he touched the ball.

A team is trying to close down the worlds best player whenever he gets the ball is not really a surprise or cutting edge analysis

 

It was a good goal from Messi. Let me guess, you prefer Ronaldo?

 

Cue Walker and Trippier doubling up on Ismail tonight..!

 

It was a good goal from Messi and i thought Ronaldo was better if it helps.

 

The Simpletons speak. Cheap dig at Watford from Dublin and excited schoolboy commentator Robyn Cowan, commenting on Poland's 4 head coaches in 4 years.

The Watford of International Football. Ha ha they've got to go through a few more before they reach that level. I haven't checked much on the news back home, is it still Billic? I'm sure they'll have 2 or 3 more by the time we get back.

Dublin you are and always will be a useless splapheady Kunt and your comedy sidekick should take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, if you can find one that won't shatter at the prospect.

 

Dublin is the worst pundit of a bad batch.

 

Poland have been just above s**t in this game.

France will flunk against a decent team.

 

Dion Dublin doesn't seem to understand football at all

 

Lewandowski smiling about his penalty. He should be embarrassed about that. Not delighted for a consolation goal. Poland shouldn't have qualified.

 

Lewandowski, the Graeme Hick of International Football.

Poland, the most boring team at the tournament, thankfully put down like a senile old pet.