Jorge Andres Segura

Jorge Andres Segura has apparently signed. A 20 year old centre back from Columbian club Envigado FC.

 

Somehow doubt we'll ever see him play.

 

[video=youtube;LXiGIEmT0-8]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXiGIEmT0-8[/video]

I can't tell if the South American attackers are all just midgets, but he looks huge

 

He's 6' 2".

 

lt took 8 seconds of the video for him to go down injured.

 

...with eyes of blue?

Does he have "el worko permito" as the say in Columbia?

 

not an injury, just muscle imbalance

 

Translates to 'George Safe'.

Have you ever heard a better name for a defender?

I'm in.

 

john stones? Actually that would work better without the final s

 

I think the fact that hes been linked to us, and not any other clubs means he must be rubbish / I think the fact that hes been linked to us, as well as loads of other clubs, must mean he s rubbish.

Ergo hes rubbish.

The collective wisdom of the WFC Forum has spoken.

 

That's not the Jordan Pickford principle.

 

Ergo may well be rubbish but we are discussing JAS on this thread. Just a pozzo investment for future profit. Will never play for us.

 

Mark my words, this guy will be commanding the back line in 2023.

 

Will he be able to accurately hoof the ball to Deeney though?

 

Another one clearly scouted at the Under 20 Championships.

Judging from the video he's tall, quick and rash in the tackle. Looks like he'll be perfect at replacing Britos for conceded fouls and yellow cards.

 

Not as good as Dave Clean-Sheet who played for Port Vale in the 1970s.

 

Can't wait to see Segura on the left, Penaranda on the right and Oulare through the middle.

 

Can imagine it now - its 2020 and he passes cleanly to Juanfran who runs up the wing before crossing low to Oulare who flicks it on to Penaranda to miss an open goal.

 

Surely it would be Sinclair on the right, then the forward lines surname would read S.O.S.

 

Surely it would be Sinclair on the right, then the forward lines surnames would read S.O.S.

 

I will look forward to the team sheet being announced in morse code

 

Penaranda "the hottest prospect to come out of Sth America since ...etc etc" can't get a game for Malaga at the moment after wasting the first half of the season at Udinese.

 

Luckily vydra comes steaming in at the back post to slot home for his 27th of the season.

 

Must have been relegated from the Championship the previous season then!

 

All players run away as Sven Kums jogs over to mark his typical messy celebration.

 

I'd go for Penaranda on the left, Oulare through the middle and then sign that Orsolini bloke we were linked with for the right.

No need to specify which of our current players I'd have sitting behind them, though he could be getting on a bit by then.

 

We should also be all over that Brazilian lad Dudu.

 

And if he's still playing then Lee Scattermole

 

Managed by Arsene Wenger of course, or Dunga

 

Except for Alex Tettey, who positively delights in it.

 

Another signing for the Pozzo machine, I think there is every chance he will never wear a WFC shirt.

Now that WFC are the principal team in the Pozzo empire, I think we are going to see more and more players being signed by us basically on paper only, with the players real destination being elsewhere. It is a system that the Pozzo's have used legally and successfully for sometime, and I have no objection to WFC being used in this way, as we have benefited from this system, especially in our early days in the Pozzo family.

 

I think Hull Citys Dean Windass could have been a pre cursor to a Scattermole.

 

...and if we were ever to qualify for Europe we could just drop Oulare, for surely a frontline of SS would strike fear into the hearts of any Central European teams.

 

Of course!

And how could I have forgotten good ol' Danny Shi2u?!

 

Kaka is still making defenders crap their pants with messy runs, somewhere in Brazil, from what I can gather.