Getting A Phone Message In A Pub

Have you ever had your name shouted out by the bar person, because someone has called the pub to speak to you?

Obviously this is before mobile phones, which wiped out the famous wagging your finger and doing shush sounds to the barman to show for him to say you're not there.

If you received a shouted message in a pub, what was it about? Did you take the call? Did the speaking end of the phone have one of those three legged push in air fresheners they often used on pub phones?

 

It used to happen a lot in a bar I went to when I lived in America. I seem to remember the barman was called Moe Szyslak, he’d shout the names out, but the customer the person on the other end of the phone was after never seemed to be in there.

 

I remember those days. Sometimes friends sometimes my mum, sometimes my gf. Went a lot like this.

 

Come on Moosey, only your mum was calling.

 

Like she wasn’t already there, three gin and bitter lemons in.

 

Ooh, fancy! So much for your socialist credentials.

 

Now it just goes like this...

 

What, you think that’s some kind of fancy drink?

 

Shouting across the pub. ‘Oi Moose, I’ve pulled. There’s sausages in the fridge for your supper!’

 

Not me personally, but was in a group on a pub crawl. We were a bit behind schedule and due to meet a mate of a mate and his then wife at a pub across town. This is either pre-mobile phone days or we didn't have his number, can't remember which, so we called the pub in question to give him the message that we'd be there in half an hour.

When we finally arrived, the message recipient demanded to know exactly how the barman knew who to go up to and relay the message to immediately, without needing to broadcast it to anyone, ask around or even take a name. The description my mate gave to the barman was. "It's the miserable looking bloke with no nose, getting grief from his chopsy bird". That chap in question has quite a petite nose and his then wife could be a bit challenging.

 

Good grief, we weren’t that classy.

 

It did actually happen to a work colleague once, we were in the pub for lunch and his boss was calling him on his mobile which he ignored

A few minutes later the barmaid starting shouting “is there a Neil in here?..Neil?”

 

Well, my mother in law once told me that she had never had a gin and tonic. Perhaps the bitter lemon makes it a bit more downmarket?

 

I remember when my housemate's frightfully posh mum came down to the 'Pool to visit him I met them one lunchtime in The Phil'. She old us that it was her first ever visit (she was in her 60's) to a "...public house..." I said I would be honoured to buy her, her first drink in one and she ordered her usual "A gin and dubonnet". The barman apologised as they were "... just out of dubonnet..." so she requested a "...babycham and brandy..." which they could do. She sank five of these in an under an hour and calmly walked out none the worse for wear...

 

Don’t know. Is bitter lemon still a thing outside of the local bowls club?

 

I've not received such a call, but have made one. We were on a pub crawl down St Albans Road in Watford in the mid-90s and had reached the Bedford Arms near the junction. One of our mates hadn't appeared and we knew he'd probably missed us - very intelligent bloke, but utterly devoid of common sense. We thought he'd probably got confused with the names and was in the Verulam.

I used the pay phone in the Bedford to ring and ask for him. I had a lengthy argument with the landlady of the Verulam, who didn't want to do it, but eventually caved in and asked. He was there, came to the phone and told him where we were. The Verulam was always an absolute toilet, filled with wrong 'uns and my mate had ended up surrounded by hairy men who insisted that they have a conversation about motorbikes. The relief in his voice was palpable.

 

I used to drink in the Verulam a lot!

Got beaten up by the bouncers there one night. Very efficient they were. Super efficient. Job done in double quick time.

 

You're all old. And I say that as a 34 year old.

 

I was drinking with my boss in our regular when his wife called (she worked at the same company). I took the call, politely informed her that her hubby wasn’t about and hadn’t seen him in the pub, then settled back to our pint and chat.

5 minutes later the pub door swung open, his wife stared at both of us, hell froze over and then she walked off

 

My pleasure.

 

Didn't the Verulam install plastic windows because the glass got smashed so many times or was that an old wives tale?

Think I went in there maybe twice in my life. Seemed ok both times.

 

This is from the early 80s film Porkys and the scene still makes me giggle like the teenager I was when I first saw it...

 

Do you like motorbikes?

 

Remember a guy I knew ordering a gin and bitter lemon in a student pub in the late 90s/early 00s. Student behind the bar looked a bit confused then came back a minute later with a pint. The bloke said 'I asked for a gin and bitter lemon' to which the barman said 'yeah I know, that's your bitter and I've already put the shot of gin and the lemonade in there'. Did drink it to be fair to him.

 

Yes!

 

One of the funniest thing I've seen in my life was sitting in the Moon Under Water in the high street after we beat Wrexham 1-0 to get promoted (think it was 1998).

The door flew open and a woman steamed in and shouted "Where the hell have you been!?" at a bloke sat with his mates. The whole pub turned round and did a high pitched "ooooooohh" collectively in the style of Vic and Bob and she screamed "F*CK OFF!!!" at the rest of the pub in general, before physically dragging him out the pub.

 

Good story, but getting promoted after beating Wrexham (2-0) was in 1982! Promotion in 1998 was of course at Fulham.

 

It was 11 Apr 1998. Think it meant we were promoted unless a big goal difference was overturned.

 

I got a clip but not a full beating.

 

Talking of the Verulam , did anyone frequent BK91 social club around the corner ?

 

Front bar or back bar? I got mine by that little walled car park round the side.

 

Just outside front door on my way out. Didnt even do anything.

 

Oh I sort of deserved mine. The fella I was with tried to bottle one of the bouncers...he got a few licks but then ran off, while I caught the full fury. I heard they were professionals who did security at events and what have you. They certainly seemed to know what they were doing.