Community networking

Discussion in 'Taylor's Tittle-Tattle - General Banter' started by Diamond, Feb 7, 2019.

  1. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    So for the third time this week Mrs Diamond gets it in the neck. "Join the local community facebook page and you'll keep up to date with local goings on" she said. F*ck me, this lot make Mumsnet seem like Stephen Hawkins for intelligence.
    The latest post is about a C Section that went wrong due to an unqualified doctor at Watford General with Jackie's headline exclaiming "appaling!!"

    Lorraine says "Going into Tesco’s Rickmansworth this evening was just shocking .. you would think they were closing down and just not restocking .. fruit, vegetables , salad items , just bare ... why can’t another supermarket chain take it over and actually make it somewhere worth a visit !! So frustrating .."

    Sara chips in with "Watch out for the film crew down by prime grill. Holding up everyone. White van used to slow traffic down to 10 miles an hour all the way from grove back roads!! They can direct a bloody film but not traffic. No attempt to. Was crazy!"

    No attempt to what Sara?

    Finally Louise says "Burlary in Harefield Road tonight ☹ (not our house) police were on the case, very nice they were too."
  2. Hornpete

    Hornpete Squad Player

    I could fill this thread with things my lovely wife does that puzzle / infuriate me. "We need to stockpile food for no deal brexit" followed by a smug statement that I won't be wanting any of her pasta and corned beef when it goes **** up.

    She's got me to sign up for the "nextdoor" app. Sounds like some of the content may be fun to read - in a watching idiots get confused kind of way.
  3. Hornpete

    Hornpete Squad Player

    There's some good ones among the recommend a plumber, builder, window cleaner guff;

    "Does anyone have suggestions on how to keep cats pooing in my garden. " - Freudian slip?

    "We have 16 fish that need a home"

    And thank God I've joined or I'd surely have fallen for the council tax refund scam.
  4. nascot

    nascot First Team

    I'm on my local area Facebook page as well. Some little snippets from this evening:

    "Getting ridiculous down here now hold up as noone can move" comment on a bit of traffic

    "Mud at the moor car park in berko!" complete with pictures of muddy shoes

    "I know its asked alot but lost orignal post. Ive rung 2 builders in tring last week and this week left voicemail but havent heard thring .could this be because they think job too small ?any builders on here doing free quotes thT would contCt me please or any reccomendations"

    And to finish, a random rant...

    To the elderly lady on the 500 bus to tring ... you are one very small minded, rude and arrogant woman. Moaning at me for being on the bus with my pram containing my 12 week old baby. Because apparently i should have waited for the next bus as the space i used was for a disabled person which appareny makes me rude and "these youngsters dont give a dam" .... well lets put this straight ...

    1. I had every right to use the bus with my pram
    2. I had already waited for a bus for over half an hour .. 500 are few and far between as it is
    3. The space i used wasn't being used by a disabled person and had one got on and needed it i would of happily given up the space despite being disabled myself (I had neuroendocrine cancer of the lung which had to be removed leaving me with one lung and quite breathless to the point i cant walk very far hence why sometimes i use the bus)

    Lastly ... Don't lable anyone who is younger than you as rude and certainly not before looking in a mirror and checking out your own attitude !!!!

    I simple got on a bus done my journey and then got off ... I didnt get in your way or affect you and to be honest it wasnt any of your business ....

    Good day to you"
  5. Robert Peel

    Robert Peel Reservist

    The levels of retardation on these groups is out of this world. It's worrying that you live in proximity to these people and most of it is people being outraged over trivia.

    You could group people into a handful of different types, my least favourite being the ones who respond to posts about anti social behaviour with comments like "It's just people having fun", "I bet your fun at parties" (your deliberately spelt wrong there) or the classic "get a life". The irony being that if someone was blaring music out next door to them or setting off fireworks at their house, they'd come flying out in their ugg boots and dressing gown, screaming at them to shut up / clear off followed by threats of violence.

    The Leighton Buzzard one I'm in is anonymous, so I took to submitting made up local information. My finest moment was when my post saying Waitrose was closing and would be replaced by Farm Foods was published. It clocked up over 100 replies and had people ringing Waitrose head office to find out why and when this was happening.
  6. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    Agree that the local community/ranting social media pages are a nightmare. However, I have found the existence of some community groups very useful recently - in particular, the parenting ones. Although I don't post on them myself, it has been of great comfort to be able to read others' experiences with their teenagers while we are going through a rather tortuous time with our 15 year old and the crowd she's attached herself to out of school - especially since, with it all happening so fast, my "real life" friends' children - although going through their own teenage stuff - are not quite in the same league. It's a relief to read the testomonies of those who've come through the other side.
  7. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Hey Happy, I'm sure it'll all turn out OK once the hormones calm their sh*t down somewhat. My own 17 year old daughter has taught me single handedly to bite my lip hard when all I want to do is push her out of the car whilst moving, (and I was one of those slating Liam Neeson)! I also use Facebook for certain groups that I'm sure would also get hammered on here, so yes, it has it's uses for sure.
  8. Beekayess

    Beekayess Reservist

    I'm sure it isn't appropriate, but damn I laughed out loud when I read that.
  9. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    See if you can guess which was my post on that thread ;)
  10. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    Forgot to add "rant over"
  11. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    I thought this was you:

    Posted by Kate, 17 minutes ago "Anyone know what the siren audible in Chorleywood was just now?"
  12. UEA_Hornet

    UEA_Hornet First Team Captain

    Poor person sighted heading up the road from Rickmansworth. Residents to the barricades. I expect it's that alarm.
    Sahorn likes this.
  13. Guy

    Guy Squad Player

    On the local Facebook groups very annoying comments of .... Are roads ok through such and such and are you ok hun? if some minor misfortune happens .
  14. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    "accident on the M25. Closed at Junction 18."

    cue 30 huns "I hope every 1 is OK xx"
    "hope no body hurt 2 bad xx"

    What does it matter what you hope? They're either having their dismembered corpse cut from a charred shell of a car, or they're fine. Your best wishes are completely ******* irrelevant, apart from to virtue signal that you somehow care about people you don't know even exist.
  15. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    God, these pages about local community groups are a form of therapy. It's why I love this forum so much. This is the last bastion of sanity on social media.

    Imagine if this didn't exist and we were all just members of Enjoy the game? That place is a ******* asylum
    Happy bunny likes this.
  16. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Haylie writes: "Hi everyone, this is a long shot but £90 fell out of my pocket possibly outside my house in Gonville Avenue. If anyone has come across it and is kind enough to hand it back I would really appreciate it. Thank you. xxx"

    I'm off up there for a scout around.
  17. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    How awful for her. I hope someone hands it in xx
  18. kVA

    kVA Reservist

    Every Friday we should have an away day and invade a different Facebook page.

    Oh and if anyone is heading towards the bottom of Box Lane in Boxmoor, the lights are all out and it’s running beautifully. xx
  19. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Shed b lucky i saw romanians in a blue ford transit up ther earlier xx

    My local one in Melton Mowbray is exactly the same as what you’ve all described. Worrying levels of thickness.... ‘can sumone please tell me what time walk in center opens???’

    They’re all convinced that there is some kind of crime spree going on at the minute, even though police statistics show no such thing, to the extent that blokes are going on there rallying gangs to roam the streets at take Melton Mowbray back from the scum.
  20. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    At least once a day there's a post about a crime somewhere and then loads of hand wringing:

    "Are are used 2 be so nice!!! Wots happening 2 are town!!!"

    Then the gammons will suggest something about national service, flogging or snowflake children being not beaten enough to be the reason why someone's car was stolen
  21. Filbert

    Filbert Leicester supporting bloke

    Good to know it’s not it’s not just this neck of the woods. Or not. They’re everywhere.
  22. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    Saw this on my local community FB page, thought of you and laughed out loud. Apart from replacing the name in the comments section with xxxx, the post and comment are verbatim as posted:

    "Anyone else have any issues with a man called Scott who draws pictures of you that seems to visit every shop in town?
    Constantly bing bombarded with letters pictures emails calls I have had to ask him to not come to my shop again stopped for about 3 months and has started again buy turning up and have woken up to 3 emails

    Xxxxxxx Hope your ok Hun xx"
    wfcmoog likes this.
  23. nascot

    nascot First Team

    Just had this little nugget on 'Everything Tring'...

    "I reckon the trolley collecting fella at Tesco must be the hardest working person in Tring."
  24. Was there today and can echo that sentiment. Unless of course there are 2 of them, in which case, frankly they could do better.
  25. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Allison says:


    Well they appear to have been done Allison so problem solved.
  26. wfcmoog

    wfcmoog Tinpot

    This local Facebook chat merits a whole new thread. Mods?
  27. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    Sadly, it appears from my local FB page that anti-social behaviour is rife where I live. Prepare to be shocked.
    "Whoever carelessly threw a load of chocolate Bourbon biscuits in to the hedges on the heath, PLEASE discard your rubbish in to the many bins provided"
    wfcmoog and kVA like this.
  28. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    My son found a £10 note on the ground in Market St during the Sannino season.

    The highlight of the year.
  29. Nothing so funny on my local FB forum. Dogs found, local tradesmen and traffic news mainly.

    If you want something funny to follow on facebook, check out "rate my plate".
    Clive_ofthe_Kremlin likes this.
  30. kVA

    kVA Reservist

    Not the Bourbons anything but the Bourbons. Who would do such a thing? What a waste!
    HappyHornet24 likes this.
  31. kVA

    kVA Reservist

    This thread makes me want to get Facebook.
  32. HappyHornet24

    HappyHornet24 Crapster Staff Member

    Agreed. Officially the best biscuit. (Cue a thread debating the virtues of various biscuits)
    wfcmoog likes this.
  33. RookeryDad

    RookeryDad Squad Player

    Whilst not necessarily the same as the best, the highest margin biscuit, from the brand owner’s POV, which I have encountered is the Carr’s Water Biscuit.

    More than 65%!

    Mainly air.
  34. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Kavitha with her third World problem:

    Urgent help please can you recommend someone who can sort out electronic gates, unable to take daughter to school as gates won’t open

    Don't live behind gates!
  35. Diamond

    Diamond First Team

    Sonia says:

    affinity water website its the worst thing i had to deal with wich i could change supplier

    Well I'm glad Sonia isn't a website designer.

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