Bargain Hunt

Keep away from the butter churn!

 

2 quid for the commode! Serrell really does attract a load of Stepoe and Son bidders.

 

What a gash bonus buy! 125 quid for a ruler. Predict a huge loss.

 

Sold for 20 quid. Quelle surprise.

 

Weeks has done OK. Fireman's hat for a tenner. Worth a punt.

 

Absolute shambles of an episode. Serrell's auctions are dismal.

 

Today it's Posh T1t Charlie Ross in Shrewsbury with indoor scarf wearing Phillip Serrell as Auctioneer. The Red Team is 'aided' by intentionally scruffy Ben 'Hobbo on Trend' Cooper. Blues have the familiar Tim 'Beardy Beanpole' Weeks.

The Red Team is composed of 2 non-stellar medical students who settle on: Surgical instr (The brainiac Meddos thought they were hairdressing tools!!!!!)(Challenge) (loss); Mahogany Commode, with pull out step, sold for 2 quid!!!!!! Almost no sale Clive. Literally, a sh!te purchase; Vicorian Silver pocket watch minus a hand (BS) Small loss. The BB is Smug Bens' Surveyor's staff masquerading as a River guage imposter, basically a gigantic slide rule, 125 s0ds. Sold for 20 notes. What a fool. Oh Dear. You might as well just set fire to the money or flush it down the commode!

So a big loss, all 3 are massive idiots.

The Blue team is a father and daughter, the latter laughs and smiles alot which is always nice and you easily warm to her. They spend the readdies on: Toy soldiers on horses, they're not lead like my head moans Charlie, sold for a fiver, a loss; Silver pocket pencil, another small loss; Overpriced gawdy painted Butter churn (BS) 180 s0ds. Looks awful. Made 100 quid loss. Disaster.
Tim's BB Battered Fireman's helmet 10 quid. Usually, profit all day long, except it didn't. It broke even.

No items made a profit. Pissious-poorous effort from everyone involved.

Subbuteo is the distraction and it's well worth a watch even when you suspect that daft Charlie hasn't a clue what it's all about.

​

Decent loud hi-kick. Charlie bellows YES. The old fool is obviously going a bit deaf.

​

 

Pound Shop George Michael, Ben Cooper

Very good Moog. LOL.

 

I love Bargain Hunt with a passion, but your summary of each episode is even better.

 

I thought this thread was gonna be about our transfer deadline day dealings!!!

Eh? Eh?

Lol!

 

Natasha is at it again! Disqualified the red's mole spade/bread Peel as Siddy Sideburns auctioneer disagrees with grumpy bear, Phillip Serrell about the agricultural usage of the tool. 18 paid. 50 sold, but they don't get the profit because of Nazi Natasha!


Snuff box and ball and cup lost money.

Bronze plate bonus buy, phil paid £30. We'll find out later how it does.

UP next, the blues, with posh sexpot Catherine Southern. Vintage suitcase 35 paid. Sells for 42 quid. 7 quid profit.

Submarine menu holder, paid 70 quid. Lots of fat middle aged white men interested in militaria, but sells for only 30 quid.

Cute panda brooch bought for 78. Too close to a retail price? Sells for 45. Minus 76 running total.

Posh totty Catherine produces a tiny chair as bonus buy. 25 paid. Looks good as everyone is effusive about how lovely this pointless item is.

As it stands blues on minus 76, reds on minus 47.

Both have gone with bonus buys. Phil's plate sells for 22, a loss of 8 pounds. Reds finish on minus 55.

Tiny chair needs to go for 47 for blues to win, gavel comes down at 38. Reds hold on to win, despite a 50 quid penalty!

 

Natasha Raskin Sharp is today's presenter hindered by "experts" Phillip Serrell, who looks like he spent the night in his car, his tramp-chic style sets a new lower level for what's acceptable when 'dressing down', and Catherine Southon, who's a dreadful Auctioneer, she has the gravitas of Jane Hill combined with the charisma of Teresa May when wielding a gavel, but her bonus buys are usually safe profits. The Auctioneer is cautious David Sumner.



Red Team are 2 friends who's patience will be sorely tested when they see that the Posh Pikey Phillip Scruffy Serrell will be 'helping' them. Their selection of punts include: A Mole spade (Challenge), according to Serrell which fulfills their agricultural challenge, however it is later DQed as it is in fact a non-agricultural baker's peel, a bread oven spade, unfortunately, the Red's are punished for Serrell's mistake, this is unfortunate as it looks very nice and makes a very nice profit; An early 20th Century Astbury silver snuff box (BS) either overpriced or undervalued by the auctioneer, made a loss, so overpriced; Wooden ball and cup attached by string which Scruffy t1ts around with, it's overpriced/undervalued, made a loss, quelle suprise. Overpriced again.



Scuffy's bonus buy is a random bronze dish/tray he must have picked up at the stand nearest the refreshment stands for 30 s0ds. Another loss (-8). What a useless waste of space he is. They should hit Serrell over the head with the bread spade.

​

The Blue Team consists of a mother and son, the latter resembles a human periscope, very apt for a marine biologist. They blindly buy: Vintage leather suitcase with a pink inside pouch, decent buy, small loss, unlucky; US Submarine menu holder (Maritime Challenge fulfilled), why you need a apecial holder on a sub when the only choice will be soup, soup or more soup, only the almighty knows, definitely overpriced,it tanked (40 note loss) or should I say sunk without a trace; Enamel Panda broach (BS), looks nice but overpriced/undervalued, another large loss.



Catherine's BB is a miniature rocking chair (25 quid), no doubt Scruffy Serrell will describe it as a bespoke cricket box, sorry abdominal guard. Auctioneer likes it. Good chance of a decent profit (38 quid). Not quite enough to win the contest. It looks like the Auctioneer David was correct in his estimates. So fair dos to him.



Today's distraction is Enamelling which they get out of the way early doors and not much else can be said

The programme ends with Natasha Hi-Kicking like a chorus girl.

​

 

Roo's team: Barometer, coal bucket and brooch

Caroline's team: Leather jacket, gold ring and hoopla set.

I'm predicting carnage at the auction!

 

Big profit on the barometer, but losses on the brooch and trench art bucket taking them down to minus 5.

Roo went out and spent 40 quid on some more trench art. Lost a tenner, so minus 15 total. Auctioneer is very boring.

 

Caroline's Blue Team Teletubby couple lose 25 pounds on their leather jacket, horseshoe game makes a 13 quid profit. Rolling royal of minus 12.

Their ring cost 115, goes for 40. Auctioneer barely let anyone have time to bid. He's a disgrace to the gavel.

Caroline bought a bonus buy of a stuffed dog or sheep or llama or something. Paid 15 quid. Think it's a Steiff. Teletubbies go with it. Hammer comes down at 20.

Overall loss of minus 82. Red team wins. Annoying northern 'lad' with page boy haircut and his blonde side piece, who embarrassingly over celebrate their win.

Kick at the end disappointing. Not a classic.

Yes? Yes!

 

Uncle Eric is Morris Dancing in Stockport, prelude to a re-enactment of the Wicker Man with the burning of the losing, sorry runner-ups, team. He spends most of the dance adjusting his hat. He is joined by experts Psychedelic Caroline Hawley and her paisley outfit and Roo Irvine, a favourite of ours. Auctioneer is another beardy, Tom Blackmore from Rickets Central.



The Red Team features a Blackpool Curly Girly Ginger Bearded numpty to match the team colours. "What do you love the most?" asks Roo, "French" says Ginger without irony. They spend big on: Pearly mid-19th Century Barometer for 55 (70-100 estimate) which sells for 110, nice profit - Barometers if they are in good nick do tend to sell well; Edwardian Blackpool broach 75 (Challenge and BS) (40-60) 45, numpty likes because it's from Blackpool, but heart ruled head on this one; WW1 Trench art, masquerading as a wastepaper bin 120 (30-50) 90, oh deary me it was well-overpriced.
Roo's BB is more Trench Art 40 (20-40) 30, small loss. Unlucky, on another day it would have made a nice profit.




The Blue Team includes a Ruth Davidson clone. Luckily, Boris Johnson is not around for her to lambast. They acquire: Vintage TT bike leathers 65 (30-50) 40, a not surprising loss; Bargain of the day, horseshoe pitching game set 17 s0ds, profit all day long, (20-30) 30; 18ct gypsy-style "gold" ring 115 (Challenge and BS) (60-100) fashioned from a clothes peg, 40, oh dear a predictable loss, the lucky heather didn't work.
Caroline's BB is a Steiff fluffy dog 15, yup should be easy profit, (20-30) 20, yip it was.

​

The auctioneer was pretty spot on with his estimates. He knows, the Lancashire locals will keep their hands firmly in their pockets, the tight lot.

The Blackpool Red Ginger numpties win.

Caroline has obviously been training with Gooner husband John as she performs a perfect slide-rule pass during the final Hi-Kick.

​

 

If there's anyone on here, still not hooked on this, then I despair.

Absolute gripping stuff, even when it's not.

 

Yer, every episode is a pantomime, in a good way.

 

After his Morris dancing stint yesterday, Uncle Eric Knowles is in the more sedate surroundings of Newark Castle where he is introduced to John Mountley's collection of pilfering. There's pics of him living it up with a party of dolly bird escorts on a night out in Soho.

Today's experts are brightly coloured Caroline Hawley and cap-wearing Chuko, 2 safeish bets. The Auctioneer is tank top titan Richard Winterton, who loves nothing more than barking out the bids and waving his arms like a Midlands Fuhrer.



Today's Reds are a "Wacky" Exam Marker and University Lecturer couple, see them posing as a pint of Guiness, yup they are tools. Items bought today are: Angle poised lamp designed by a sensitive, artistic, John Terry 20 (30-40) 40 nice profit, everyone loves an APL, profit all day long; Little Georgian silver vinaigrette (Challenge BS) 99 (50-70) 90, close but no cheroot; Re-constructed stone pots and concrete boot, looks like an art students final term project, 35 (30-40) 35 even stevens, good luck to anyone having to lug those around.
Caroline's BB is a pair of Silver BB, literally, toddy ladles 65 (40-50), tight estimate, 100. Excellent profit. Well done her. Cheroot's lit in her honour.




Today's Blues are Derby's Martin Shaw lookalike and his Thai bride, Denzil and Dora. They snaffled: a Cheroot holder and case, gold and amber, 30 (50-60) 45, a smoking profit (Caroline's husband, cheroot loving John Hawley obviously put an online bid in); Bog standard continental snuff box (BS) 99 (70-90) 80, a loss, proving that you can't turn all silver into gold; Blue enamel button hook Birmingham silver, not too shabby even though it's lived in smoggy Brum, no box, 26 (20-30) 30, small profit.
Chuko's BB is a tatty lump of Garden Table 45, rejected, (20-30) 60, the bidders loved it long time.

​

It's an outside Hi-Kick finale which allows Uncle Eric to do his star jump.

​

BH is on BBC 2 tomorrow because of the Winter Olympiad. China interfering again.

 

Great summary @reg_varney. I had to drive Mrs Moog to a physio appointment at 1pm, but of course, BH is on series link so I watched it later on.

Some good buys today, but I think both teams were let down by overpaying for their Silver: the vinaigrette and the snuff box.

Still, lots of cracking action. Caroline's bonus but the difference between the two teams, although good to see the other team lose out by bottling it over Chucko's table. He's a safe bet and always worth trusting.

 

The latest BH is in Brighton for a dirty weekend. Unfortunately, it's with posh t1t Charlie Ross and his spit-roasting sidekicks, experts, Danny Sebastian, the squeaky Papa Lazarou, assigned to the Blue Team cousins, "You're my cousins now", and Ricky Gervais waxwork, John Cameron, guiding the Father & Son Red Team. Auctioneer Will Pasfield, who looks like he has been forcibly coerced, makes up the foursome.



Danny the Squeak has ditched his Candy Tangerine Man outfit and returns with his trademark hat that'll have your eye out. As they're in Brighton, daft twit Charlie gives us a potted history of the Mods and Rockers. He confesses to be a former Vespa-riding closet Mod to some ancient original Mods and their motorised Zimmer frames.

​

Father & Son Red Team partake and obtain: George III strip map (Challenge) 20 paid (10-20 estimate) 15 sold, unlucky; Edwardian silver sugar tongs 60 (20-30) ouch, 35, not surprising as they're nothing special; Doulton Lambeth stoneware mug BS 75 (10-20) yesterday's papers, ouch again, 28, big loss, it's a mug for the mugs.
John's BB is a tidy historic fireman's helmet match striker, specially for the helmet Reds 60 (80-120), looks like a good buy, 85 is a good buy. Well done John.



Team Squeak (Blue) buys: Folding gold-coloured contact rash-inducing snakey Lorgnettes 89 (40-60), oof, 25, dreadful lot, .... and the item; Harrods swing handled silver plated basket, if it were from Tesco you'd be giving it away, 12 (20-30), got a chance, 15, the H name drags it over the profit line;
Army issue strongbox 49 (30-50) 80, tidy profit, army ephemera is always popular.
Squeaky BB, what sh1te will he bestow on us, Bauhaus chair, 1960s Laura Ashley standard lamp, no, it's pine corner cupboard tat for 15 notes, potential firewood, (10-15), perhaps a famous no bid for Clive? Posh t1t Charlie hates it, so that's a plus. Sold for 20 s0ds. Jesus it's made a profit!



Finale Hi-Kick shows off Squeaky's paunch and his sweat-patched underarms, nice.

​

 

Absolute mental overspending on the tongs and the crappy mug.

That corner cupboard was pure tat, but Squeaky squeaked a profit, not to be sneezed at.

Bargain Bublé with the gavel managed to get rock bottom prices for most of the tat.

Star of the show today was the fire man's helmet match striker.

The three old rogues in brighton admitting to assaulting rockers with deckchairs was a racy detour. Needed to bring in some shawaddywaddy lookalikes and let it all kick off again.

Not a classic episode.

 

Anyone bored with Bargain Hunt is bored with life.

Keep up the excellent work. gents!

 

Bloody winter olympics (the crap olympics). Bargain hunt shunted to make way for sports that only a tiny minority of mostly European nations have access to, and even then, usually only the wealthy and privileged. How would a Kenyan street urchin or even a lad from a Glasgow estate ever find out if they had an aptitude for snowboard half pipe?

Utter balls. Bring back the real competition, of BH. Should be far more important that seeing which Swiss, Austrian or Norwegian can hurtle down a mountain in €4000 worth of kit the fastest.

 

It was on BBC 1 today at 10-30 am. Report incoming:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000hq97

 

Today it's strict Natasha Raskin Sharp in the grounds of Kedleston Hall in Derbyshire, aided by experts Burtons shop window dummy John Cameron and bendy beanpole Tim Weeks. Auctioneer is the larger-than-life, Charles hyperactive hammer hitter Hanson.

WARNING!!!!! This episode features a tedious marriage proposal. Have sick bucket ready. Better still, have hallmarked antique silver pail handy. Toe-curling cringeworthy telly. Obviously she says Yes, I would larf until I puked if she had said No, but as this is 'daytime telly' that was never going to happen. Flowers and champagne magically appear. As she is such a stickler for the rules, I hope Natasha doesn't stop the clock for this charade as it should eat into their 1 hr time slot.



This episodes distraction is some metal heart found by a metal detectorist. Yup, move on. Mystery object is a medicinal arm bath. Cue a slot on making arm baths and similar things of that ilk. Actually, quite boring.



Shorted and skirted grey middle-aged, ancient relic loving, drumming, metal detecting (zzzzzzz) Red Team purchase:
Duck shooting game 27 (20-40), Charlie thinks it's great fun, oh dear it's a dead duck at 15; Art deco metal springbok bookends, suitable for devil-worshipping metal-heads 30 (20-40), 45, nice profit; Child's Triang toy desk 45 (30-40), Charlie works his magic and squeezes 50, well worked profit.
They are mildly chastised by thrifty Scot Natasha for being over-prudent. The irony is not lost on me.
John was thus given nearly 200 of folding money to spend on his BB, did he spunk it up the wall? Maybe. It's a hollow bronze gilt battered Buddha. Red woman then confesses to be a Buddhist. Good job it wasn't a pentagram with her confessing to be Aleister Crowley's granddaughter. Stranger things have happened, like the April Fool purporting that Barbara Bush was Crowley's daughter. LOL. 90 seems steep to me (30-40), done for 95, Charlie sees it over the line, working the old black magick.

​

PC Plod, dog handling, prank loving, tedious joking Blue team bring to the nick and push down the stairs the following items: Industrial cabinet 130, they saw them coming, (20-30) ouch, 25, huge, huge loss, a real shoot yourself in the foot item; Old laced-up leather footy, the sort that would get heavier in the rain, head one of these and you are guaranteed concussion followed by some degenerative brain disease in later life, 25 s0ds, (20-30) Charlie confesses to being a Ram, eyebrows raised, goes for 38, nice tidy profit, footy always sells well; Miniature silver rocking chair 25 (40-60) looks good, 40, profit all day long.
Tim Weeks BB is a very underwhelming set of letters spelling YES, influenced by the tedious marriage proposal. The letters spelling 'Over My Cold Dead Body' had already been sold. 25 (20-30) Charlie's default price, they sell for 45. Well done Mr Weeks and Mr Hanson.



Bit of a half-halted high kick to end this nuptial episode. Bring on the divorce special.

​

 

will watch on catchup. Not reading your spoilers until after. Thanks.

 

Really disappointing and half-hearted end kick.

The two male competitors barely achieve any height at all. Only Natasha makes it anywhere near 90 degrees and really that's the absolute minimum acceptable to my mind.

They should have it written into the contracts to appear. If you can't properly high kick, you can't get on the show.

 

Winter tomfoolery has ballsed up the schedule. It was on BBC2 at 11-30 am:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0005j8z

Will have to watch later. I hate my viewing routine disrupted.

 

I love the idea of proposing at a car boot sale! Why bother whisking your bird off to Paris or Rome when there's a windswept field full of junk on your doorstep

 

Is that the right episode for today? Iplayer is confusing.

 

It's Edinburgh. Crap auction. No chance of an overall profit.

 

Weeks usually gets his skinny pins right up.

 

This Scottish episode is awful. Load of crap bought. Top pic6es paid. Terrible estimates. Awful.

 

Yep, these Scottish episodes do nothing to dispel the myths about Caledonian thriftiness, do they?