Bargain Hunt

I've been browsing the Amersham Auctions lots.

Some of the prices under the hammer at BH are an absolute steal, though as you mention it's simplified for telly so they don't include commissions.

 

Was it a purposeful IKEA trip or a browse?

I love going when I can shuffle round at my own pace, hate it when we’ve got a list of **** and I’m expected to contribute to the decision making process.

I just want to look at the kitchens, pick a soft toy for the dog and get some veggie balls.

 

Another baldie giraffe-neck freak on the blue team today. And considering that Indian fella said he'd been wanting to go on BH for 20 years, he seemed very disinterested. Cracking £100+ loss on the stupid fairground sign.

Thanks for the wonderful photos, particularly of the high kick at the end. Very, very adventurous from Christine, considering she's got a skirt on. A little glimpse of her big money buy there?

Finally, nice to see that the spirit of Jimi Hendrix lives on...

 

It was a relatively light trip. We aren't fitting out a room, but spent about 200 quid on plates, a rug and other sundries.

 

Oh yes @reg_varney hi res version of this if poss please

 

Good stuff, buying a new rug is always exciting.

Much to shout about in the reduced to clear?

 

I'm afraid that's about as good as it gets on iPlayer, otherwise you'll just have to stick to the underwear catalogues.

 

We need one of those CCTV machines they have in police dramas.

'Can you sharpen this up.'

'Yeah sure. By nature we keep all our CCTCV imagery slightly blurry until requested otherwise, because it makes finding crucial details more haphazard and a sort of treasure hunt.'

 

I'm afraid I didn't venture into the bargain corner. I was having a funny turn by that point as I needed lunch.

 

Today's BH highlights: Red Team's mixed bag of bowl, black blob sculpture, and a Bezique set which did rather well, whereas Blue's Big **** which made a nice profit, overpriced Troika and unique dog biscuit breaker made it a close contest. Roo Irvine's bonus buy for Red's (rejected by them) unusually for her made a small loss, while professional beanpole, Tim Weeks' Blue Team bonus, 5 animal/insect costume broaches bought for a tenner made a nice profit and handed victory to the Blues (6 notes, so don't spend it all at once). Good hi-kick at the end with pics specially provided for Moog and Clive.

 

Easily my favorite thread, and I’ve not watched Bargain Hunt for a decade.

 

Who is the honey on the end in the red boots please Reg?

 

She is the delightful Roo Irvine. A late starter to the antiques field. Her bonus buys and advice are usually pretty spot on.

 

Jesus, bl00dy swear filter. Blue's Big Cockk.

 

Yep. She had a bereavement and IIRC gave up a high powered finance role to tinker with objects of beauty and joy as it put her life in perspective.

She's in my top 5 experts. Probably nudging out Hipster Tim Weeks who's becoming a bit over the top and fake for me. His scareceow hat today is a definitive minus.

Having said that, I've seen today's before. I remember the Samovar, tractor seat and Magic Roundabout toy.

But watching Christina learn about barometer repair will never get boring.

 

Charlie and that auctioneer were flirting terribly. She starts as a stern, intellectual cool woman and by the end, she's giggling, toying with her hair and saying 'big ****' whilst batting her eyelashes. Whatever 'it' is, Charlie has it in spades.

 

Yessssssss! They're at Hansons.

He's my absolute fave. Love Hanson.

 

Today, we had the feline Christina Trevanion, a forum favourite slinking around the showrooms with human deckchair Charles Hanson as the gavel hyperbasher.

The dull Red Team, with toothy posho Kate Bliss, paraded a boring collection of samovar, a genuine (i.e. old and knackered) set of kitchen scales, and a nice but heavily overpriced silver hipflask. The slightly more eccentric (and thick) Blue team had Tim Weeks, the bearded beanstalk replete with stupid hat, as their expert, so a toy is usually somewhere on the agenda and it was with a play-worn, loved, charming (i.e. beat-up) Magic Roundabout toy car for a fiver, an obvious profit (it was). A pic of a pristine version is also provided for comparison. Their other items were a rustic, charming (i.e. beat-up) old tractor seat , bought because it said Albion on it and the Baggie-supporting contestant thought it might be related to her club, no it means Britain/England love. There should be a rule that if the contestants repeat any of the tired old cliches used by the experts then they should automatically fbe Bezzed and automatically disqualified from the contest and lose all profits accrued. So Blues mentioning 'up-cycling' should have resulted in them being beheaded by an antique guilotine. Their final item was an overpriced tatty medical chart (yes it made a loss).

Christina also sent the pressure soaring with an item about barometers.

The show ended with a good non-upskirting hi-kick finale this time.

 

Money and a dodgy heart condition?

 

Natasha, for God's sake stop taking your job so seriously! Dsiqualified Raj Bisram's reds challenge item as it was Arts and Crafts 'style' rather than of the period.

Miraculously, they managed to dig out a vast profit despite a 90 quid handicap. The ladder and the beautiful Indian silver cup made up some ground. The collection of military crests Raj bought as a bonus buy absolutely smashing expectations with a 110 quid profit on their 40 quid cost.

The blues slipped up with their belt buckle. That was a retail price and it wasn't the Suffragette piece they thought it was. They also lost out on their chav bracelet but their Japanese vase (the challenge item) made a small profit. David Harper (one of the worst experts but with the best trousers) managed to claw a bit back with a ridiculously priced orange peeler, which some nutter bought for £70 (50 paid) but they were dead and buried.

The twist in the tail, the reds are donating their winnings to a cancer charity. The short haired daughter had shaved her head to raise cash already. Hope you're proud of yourself Natasha. Your fascisticly zealous application of the rules robbed cancer charities of an extra £20 and nearly destroyed another episode of BH. Charlie and Christina never disqualify any items and I'm sure Eric rarely if ever has. I think the other Scottish witch, Anita might have (whatever happened to her? She's not been on for ages? Not that I'm moaning, she is awful).

Anyway, looking forward to the screen grabs.

 

Today it's Natasha Raskin Sharp who looks like she would be in danger if she walks over a cattle grid with plump schoolboy Thomas Forrester, who has no such problems.

Red Team, Mother and Daughter pair, bought a paint-spattered stepladder, an unexciting, sorry 'fabulous', bowl, some over-priced jewellrey which was DQ-ed as a challenge item (not from the arts and crafts movement) so made a massive loss, and Dr. Evil's bonus buy of a rattling box of military signs/plinths which made a massive profit (over 100 s0ds).

Father and son Blue Team bought a chunky Dior lip gloss wrist-straining identity bracelet type item, a well overpriced buckle which made a stonking loss, with the Stumpy Bearded Balding Cowardy Custard Coloured trouser-wearing David as the expert with his mother-of-pearl orange peeler bonus buy which made a decent profit.

Super hi-kicking from the Scottish presenter, all that Scots dancing has proved a God-send.

 

Charlie disqualified the 'item' known as Bez in the infamous celebrity episode.

 

I don't get the disqualifying of items thing. Surely the team experts are there to tell them what things are. It's hardly the contestant's (or charity's in this case) fault if the experts **** up.

They should have some way of verifying the purchase fits the criteria when they buy it not wait until the auctioneer and presenter decide just before the sale.

It's supposed to be a bit of fun. Disqualifying items just isn't in the spirit of the game imho.

 

It also renders the competition almost pointless (though I'm proven wrong by today's complete outlier).

Perhaps a more lenient system.

Like you say, it's a bit of fun. I also don't like the disproportionately regular occasions where their item is damaged in transit and so they get the auctioneer's top estimate as their total.

Half the fun of BH is when an item us estimated to bomb but surprises everyone with a profit.

 

They clearly need VAR to look again at the dodgy decisions. Moog and Clive back at Stockley Park can check the tapes and confirm or overturn the decision to disqualify an item.

 

Perhaps they should have a League Table of the experts' bonus buys profits/losses. Might make some of them raise their game a bit.

 

Absolutely. Sometimes it's nip and tuck and an 'expert's reveals some piece of silver that they paid £80 for, before admitting, it would probably be valued at 40-60 but there's always a chance two bidders really want it and bid it up, and it's actually a crap buy but they really thought it was very pretty.

Sometimes I'm sure that they just walk to the first stall, get the first item and pay full whack for it.

 

Kindly Uncle Eric Knowles (brother of TOTP hitster Cyril) chairs today's show, so we knowles it going to be exciting. He is assisted in the Auction Room by tank-topped brusk gavel twirler, Richard Winterton, who barks like a dalek during the auction.

The dim Red Team heavily overspent on 2 of their items: Ugly jug (almost a no sale) big loss (-60); Portmerion coffee set, one The Prisoner would have used which confirmed a profit; and an over-priced silver card case (-20).
Caroline Hawley bonus of silver sugar shaker made a nice profit. Husband Gooner John would have smoked a cheroot in its honour.

Scary looking female fronted 'Team Hobbit' Blue Team offered up: Russian elephant tat (made a loss); massive Pewter jug, at 155 s0ds, a big gamble (10-15 estimate, oh dear), Yup, it massively tanked (-120); and a nice Bakelite metronome, profit all day long.
Indoor cap-wearing Ochuko 'Chuko' Ojiri miniture silver handbag (card case) bonus buy made a small loss, which was unusual for him.

Uncle Eric goes off metal detecting in the usual programme space filler and finds a huge brand new paperclip handily planted by the Production Team.

During the Kick at the end, Eric Hall is perfecting the low altitude star jump. Nice one Eric, nice one son ....

 

Excellent summary. That bloody vase and that water jug! What on earth were they thinking.

The elephant falls into my pet peeve category of 'quirky.' Ooh what am I like, I bought a ****** elephant!!!

The card case did a lot better than I or the auctioneer were expecting. He was a regular portender of doom. Estimater everything would bomb.

Chuco let me down today. He's usually quite astute but he really phoned this one in. Caroline is very much a mid table expert and a top 10 auctioneer.

The roman **** that sold for hundreds of grand - I'm sure I've seen glass cabinets full of that at Verulameum and I didn't even bother to look closely at it. Old **** is still ****.

 

I really thought that flowery vase was going to be the first non-seller item I'd seen. Nobody wanted it for long time..."no interest? No interest at all?" said the auctioneer desperately, but then some clown gave a fiver for it.

I also enjoyed the mahusive loss on the pewter jug. Very impressive. I knew that little silver envelope would lose money too - unless Shaggy and Scooby were there looking for a gift for Daphne.

Very mild and characterless teams today I thought. Barratt Estate young couple versus an anonymous elderly pair. Nobody wearing a skirt for the high kick either, which is always a disappointment.

 

A Saturday without footy or BH is like an excitement junkie going 'cold turkey'. However, on Sunday the Methadone arrived in the form of an episode fronted by Natasha Raskin Sharp and to make up for the absence yesterday it's a double-header extended version. Let's hope we don't overdose! She's aided and abetted in the auction room by Paul Hollywood's younger thinner brother, Auctioneer Colin Young. A proper fast calling gavel thumper that you would see at a livestock auction. Red and Blue Teams have the same expert in both segments, one-step forward for belligerently sarcastic plummy-voiced Mark Sarky, I mean Stacey for the Reds, and 2-steps back for Gary Peeee, as so often his bonus buy items really do take the urine.

WARNING!!!!!
Beware, this episode features no big spend or special item challenges. Were these rule changes bought in more recently ?

First off in Part 1 we have the pig-obsessed bumpkin Red Team. They end up purchasing: Mahogany Pistol-less Pistol Case, replete with stained velvet, basically a pencil case in waiting; Victorian silver horseshoe broach for a tenner, small profit all day long; Chester silver saucepan pepper pot for 65 notes, probably worth a risk. The auctioneer's estimates all fall in the ballpark of what they paid for the items. The bonus buy from Sarky Marky was a left-field 100 year old phallic stone rhubarb forcer for 90 quid. Oh dear, it looks dreadful and he overpaid. Surely he's taking the p1ss. Oh well, it's not his money.

Well, golden gavel's for them and they wisely rejected that stone monstrosity which made a loss.

Their opponents are the "Ah, it's interesting" dreary Blue Team who fritter their money away like water in about 15 mins, headed by an Emily Thornberry lookalike mother and her daughter who's ended up teaching because she's not much cop at anything else. They spunked on: Chainmail silver evening purse, 68 notes, erroneously labelled '999' probably because it had been nicked; Silver choker necklace and dragonfly broach, dont' choke at the 110 s0ds price; Ditchfield (where it deserves to end up) glass lillypad paperweight. Auctioneer Colin estimates are significantly below what they paid.

Gary once again excels himself in the BB weird ugly stakes, remember his teapot lamp from last weekend, with a horrid looking industrial pump moldy mould. Flush the 33 quid down the loo time. Yup, his bonus buy made a loss again.

The overpriced silver items made losses but the paperweight surprisingly made a small profit. Gary gurns and plays the fool.

The segment ends without a Hi-Kick. Boooooooo.

Half-time in the prog is spent with Natasha looking at first edition James Potter-Bond books where someone writing their name on the first page or a library stamps it's huge inky stamp somewhere devalues the book by about 10 grand. Great shot of a book of the Doris Day/David Niven film 'Don't Eat the Daises' which was probably a warning to the previous Red Team.

The whistle blows and the second half kicks off. This time the Red Team consists of a retired looking couple, the male half with his prominent dentures and his non-exciting anecdotes replete with a full-set of nagging wife. They eventually buy: A slightly battered oval butterfly broach (evens); A gawdy figurine and glass dish for 130 quid which makes a profit, Gulp!; Hair-raising retro 60s-70s acrylic side table for 60, shocking and loss making. Sarky's bonus buy is another garden item, a wooden oak planter for 20 notes. Actually a decent buy and a small profit results.

Blue Team 2 features the RPG twins on day release. The round-shoulded one with the sex offender's smile confesses he works in IT and collects coins and stamps. Yup, that figures. The other one works IN drinks dispenser. Does that mean he's a part-time nozzle? They manage to discover and purchase: A golf ball on a shoehorn! Has to be seen to be believed, but makes a small profit; a set of strange commemorative gold postage stamps in books (loss), unfortunately the books were not gold; Achtung!! Schnell!! It's a Kreigsmarine clock for 109 teutonic pounds. Auctioneer Colin thinks they might have heavily overspent on this. It turns out he is right. Oh dear Gary handed 128 pounds, what the eff is he going to buy. It's a WMF Homer bust (think Greek not Simpsons) ink well for 22 quid, so it should do alright and Colin likes it and it makes a small profit.

Nozzle boy doesn't turn up for the auction, perhaps the dungeon master hasn't released him from the queening stool for the day.

This time the episode ends with a decent hi-kick. Huzzah!!

 

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Philip Serrell wielding the gavel today. Nothing will sell for more than £20.

 

Ha ha ha Lurch on the blue team.


"Ah want marbles in 'em"

Why?

"Cos they're wurfff more wiv marbles in 'em"

Still, the students on the red team are smug and easy to dislike. Hard to know who I want to lose most money.

 

Gangly nut job Tim Weeks and Pound Shop George Michael, Ben cooper are the experts. I'm not expecting a classic today.