Bargain Hunt

There were some dogs barking during the episode. It must have been torture for them.

 

Turned into quite the episode!

btw, is that the closest Carloss has been to a GG? (£6 short on item one.)

 

Magnificent dimples.
Wonder if she has a matching pair down below.

 

She's definitely in my top 2. For her to challenge CT she needs to be more regular and show more dimples and filthy laughs

 

Just say when and where darlin', I'll be there. -addressing Izzie not you... nothing personal

 

I see Alan Shearer's fave Ref, Uriah Rennie, giving out the indigestion along with the Red Cards, has gone to the Big Dressing Room in the Sky.

 

Needs to perfect, the hair swish, shrug and eyebrow raise to camera while walking up steps, and the full-throated Dirty Laugh.

 

Noticed she momentarily offered one to Squeak, then recalled her aversion to dark wood. Good girl

 

Tragicooper resorts to pocketing his bb to get the top end estimate. Shocking tactics. Disappointing the Squeak didn't tell the Reds they'd have won apart from coopers cheating. Boo!!!! (Not that I'm biased in any way)

 

It seems to be missing Cow's Arse Cooper.



Is he being buggered by Anglepoise Lamps? No wonder he was sounding so Squeaky today.



Victorian Space Invaders.



Oops. Dizzie left Dan-gling.

 

Ben as adept at Rugby as he is accumulating Golden Gavels.



Dizzie in Disguise lifts another BB.



Zieg!!!!



And Again.

 

BBC approved preamble:
Newark 23
Series 71
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002ddcx
Whilst at the Newark antiques fair, Danny gets an insight into how the Victorians dealt with mortality when he examines lockets of human hair and messages from deceased loved ones. From lockets of Whitby jet to bracelets made of human hair, Victorian mourning jewellery is a fascinating area of interest for collectors. Danny Sebastian meets one woman who has an array of items from the mid-1800s, including lockets containing hair and messages from deceased loved ones. At Newark Showground, two teams of friends search the stalls for bargains to sell at auction. Lynne and Hannah are certain they will win despite Lynne never having been to an antiques fair, a car boot sale or even a second-hand shop! Competing for a golden gavel are pals Adam and Scott, who think they will be cautious shoppers as they both work in insurance. Guided by expert Izzie Balmer, the reds pick a pair of transfer-printed vases, but Izzie isn’t convinced they’ll make a profit at auction. Ben Cooper and the blues spot a giant papier mache head of Hollywood comedian Stan Laurel, but at £450, it’s a fine mess they can’t afford to get themselves into! The teams then head to Nottingham, where auctioneer Hettie Jago gives Danny her estimates on their items before they go under the hammer - but who will come out on top?

The Translation:
The Whitby Jets aka The Errant Wheelers, current Champions in the ancient sport of Tat Sifting have a new owner. It's Dustskip Dan, The Landfill Locust, The Squeaky Saviour of Apple Crates, Dentist Lamps. He has 2 Junior Teams to oversee who will be guided in, so to speak, by Head Coach Dizzie and lead out over the cliffs like Lemmings by Ian The Faux Bumpkin Holloway acolyte Carloss The Buggerall. Adjudication will be presided over by Hottie Jizzgo hammering away to see who ends up on top, in a manner of speaking.

The Staff:
[Gaffer] Danny Squeak of the Dump Sebastian, the Dogwhistle blower of the tat trade, Bored Member of the Squeaksonium Institute of the criminally deaf.
[Red Team Expert] Dizzie Izzie Barmy Balmer, the resident apiarist, her honey pot overflows into her engorged fiddling F-holes.
[Blue Team Expert] Ben Yeti Cooper, the Abominable Showman, the Himalayan Halfwit.
[Auctioneer] Hottie Jago, she Bangs Your Gavel.
[Auction Location] Arthur Johnson & Sons Auctioneers, Nottingham
[Miserlin Rating] Unlisted

Does Dizzie get Jiggie?

​

The Teams:
[Red Team] Friends Medical Technician Lynne and Student Paramedic Hannah, are certain they will win despite Lynne never having been to an antiques fair, a car boot sale or even a second-hand shop!
(Challenge: Ceramic with a maker's mark )
[Blue Team] Pals Underwriter Adam and Admin Scott, who think they will be cautious shoppers as they both work in insurance. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
(Challenge: Connection to a team sport)

The Shopping:
Reds: Victorian Valet Stand (55) struggle, Royal Worcs ceramic money box (6 Challenge) Good, Boxed Birmingham 1975 set of silver and enamel spoons (75) OK it's doable.
Blues: Boxed Birmingham silver pocket watch (105) Ouch ooo arrrrgggg, Sheffield silver football cufflinks (28 Challenge) OK, Concrete Eagle (9) Really good.

The Distraction:
From lockets of Whitby jet to bracelets made of human hair, Victorian mourning jewellery is a fascinating area of interest for collectors. Danny Sebastian meets one woman who has an array of items from the mid-1800s, including lockets containing hair and messages from deceased loved ones. Human skin lanterns, nipple belts and the skull of the Marquis De Sade are just some of the items on offer at The Squeak's Unlucky Dip.

​

The Auction:
Reds: Victorian Valet Stand (5 loss), Royal Worcs ceramic money box (19 profit), Boxed Birmingham 1975 set of silver and enamel spoons (5 profit).
Dizzie's BB is an Art Deco crystal glass costume necklace (5), 20-30 wow she giggles, 15. A tenner profit.

​

Blues: Boxed Birmingham silver pocket watch (5 loss), Sheffield silver football cufflinks (2 profit), Concrete Eagle (16 profit).
Tragicooper's BB is a 1980s silver with enamel topped box (80), 80-120, insurance bid of 120. 40 profit.

​

The Aftermath:
The Squeak, as high pitched and annoying as ever, jabbing and flicking his finger like a jelly on Tartrazine. A misty, bordering on foggy, Antiques Fair. Dizzie, well wrapped up, and Yeticooper dragging us well down, are our helpers. A team of Red women who love everything and Inurance wonk Blues who are so risk averse they won't buy anything. Notts Auction with latest fave Hottie Letsjizz flashing her dimples and with promises of other charms to come. Dizzie's Reds make a small loss on the valet stand which she poured as much cold water on as feasibly possible, a decent profit on the cheaper than cheap money box, and their risky big spend brought home another fiver. So close but no GG cigar. They end up taking home 29 notes. Tragicooper's boring, dithering, Blues, who spent the whole episode bickering like an old married couple, had their risky big spend item, the pocket watch, on first, and just as it was about to chime a profit, it abruptly stopped, just a fiver short. Oh dear, another GG falls through the Yeti's fingers. This would prove pivotal as the next 2 items , the cufflinks and the Eagle both make profits. Oh dear, so near yet so har har har far ha ha ha. Then we had once of those bizarre, never seen before moments, like Bez cheating, Hanson winning a contest with his big selling BB, highlights that will be remembered for aeons. Bungling Ben disappears to get his BB and comes back empty handed as he reports that it's been lifted. Don't they have CCTV cameras in this place or are they all secretly installed in the Auctioneers rest room? As it had been valued, the top end of the valuation was taken as an insurance price, as if it had been damaged by the usual BH movers, Drop, Chip and Smashit. So, the silver and enamel Polo pot makes 40 and the Blues win with an overall profit of 43 quid. Another decent episode despite The Squeak and Bickering Blues and such a big talking point, along with the dimples.

​

The Hi-Kick:
Standard indoor kick. Everyone hits par or above with decent coordination. Dizzie shows off her boots. Yes, YES!!

​

 

See above.

 

It was even more tantalising in this legacy episode:

Belfast 22
Series 49
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0b3prqc
Anita Manning and the teams are in Greyabbey, Northern Ireland, where they do battle in the high street. The reds and blues visit the shops with experts Ben Cooper and Charles Hanson. The teams have one hour to buy three items, which they send off to auction. There is a tense atmosphere at Ross's Auctioneers in Belfast, and Anita shares some inside information about Irish silver.

Cooper made profits of 45 on item 1, 25 on item 2, and then just fell 10 notes short on item 3. It must have been agonising. He then made 75 profit on his BB and for an overall profit of 135 but no Golden Gavel. LOL.

So not as close as 6 notes, but just falling short on the 3rd item. Tee-hee.

 

haha, good spot

The below sums up Hottie. She is so winningly gauche and open, bordering on jollyhockeysticks; here I imagine she is excitedly discovering what the dormitory midnight feast will be: "Jelly!? Really! Oh, good-o, that's just super!"

 

this is on TPix tonight:



Check out the category note at the bottom of the cover:
'Family - X'
What sort of family is that for, then?!

 

Came across this earlier. I suspect it may be AI. Thoughts....

 

Nice clear pic, considering you came across it.

 

A Horn filled with Dave's Special Cream.

 

Intervision Video too. A fine label.

 

My thoughts exactly. Arf, LOL, Arf.

 

At least she doesn't have Love and Hate tattooed across her knuckles.

 

To those who don't consider the Princess to be No.1 BH Babe, I present this.

 

Tiny Houses for Tiny Minds, Hello Caroline.

She's pretending to be the Giantess.

Urgggh. What a revolting hairstyle outfit combo.



Reds are Married Charity and GP CEO, does she love him long time. He's known as little Boss. Snigger.

Mother-in-law Shop supervisor and Son-in-law Electrical conductor.

Plaidy and the Wokesfuhrer.

Connected with the outdoors/(Ab)Use at a party

Red Bloke must a leafletter for the Greens/Lib Dems

Aussie Blue tells Weeks he's a Dapper as a Dingo's Dongo while playing with his Didgeridoo. This is Daytime Telly so Didgeridon't

Man Cave mentioned. Urgh.

Wokesfuhrer loves his Cornishware

Of course, Red Bloke used to live in Japan. Hentaitastic.

Aussie Blue is Ginger Rolf. Can you see what it is yet?

Reds are so Woke that it almost becomes Non-Woke. He has a speech impediment, I thought those would be thrashed out of you at Public School.

Need to find a pair of Disco Balls then.

Boring wooden candlesticks.

If Reds don't win this, then he won't be getting it for Months.

Aussie Bloke covered in Tattoos. That's a surprise.

Nick in his Plaid Flasher Mac.

The Teams are wearing Polo Shirts so Plaidy must be roasting in Mac and waistcoat.

Is Plaidy going to get that Globe as his BB.

Like Hunt sounds like a naughty word.

Nick's on good, humourous form.

Red Bird talks about tricks. Will she be turning them later?

Timo pulls their leg and finds Dong.

Reds buy: Cast metal garden Table and Chairs, Pair of large oak candlestick holders, Metal Tower of London sign.

Quick start and slow finish, mentions Nick. Snarkle.

 

Reds buy: Cast metal garden Table and Chairs, Pair of large oak candlestick holders, Metal Tower of London sign.

Quick start and slow finish, mentions Nick. Snarkle.

It's painful, It's painful, says Red Bird working on those candlesticks.

Journey and old friend. Plaidy is going back for the Globe.

Decorator's ladder, Japanese Toy Space gun, Pewter cocktail shaker and soda siphon

Jericho gets that shrinking feeling. Yes, her brain gets even smaller in inverse proportion to her booming voice.

Bekonscot Model Village & Railway. Went there a few times as a nipper.

Enid Blyton mentioned.

Five Indulge in Bestial Acts with the Secret Seven.

Bekonscot Club 18-30.



Hugo in Bourne End. Profits surely.

 

Bravest daytime TV sentence of the day from Nick 'it's not things you like hunt.'

Very carefully pronounced.

 

Lovely feature.
Foghorn in the village.
Is she Number One?
More like a number two.

 

SNAP!!!!

 

Ha ha ha ha. Excellent.

Orange Alert, like her terrible hairstyle.

I've never seen Hair clash so badly with an outfit before. A new low.

 

Oh, I had that space gun.
Made a right racket, iirc.

wtf is Foghorn wearing? Looks like a Battenberg gone mouldy.

Ha, hark at He-Man Plaidy!
'Bargain Hug'. All that SS P.T. paying off.

£37 Glob-al domination achieved.
Albert Speer would be proud

 

Auction Time.

Reds up: Table and chairs make 15, wow says Foghorn, like it's a Lottery Rollover amount, Pair of candlesticks make 10.
Red Bloke laughs like he's slowly going insane, Toer of London sign makes 16. Golden Gavel achieved.

Foghorn demonstrates her adding skills like she's teaching some 7-year olds their 2 times Table.

Nick gets the globe from earlier for his BB, as predicted (10), 30-40 thry love 'em in Bucks, will it go Viral like Hawley's septic lower regions, 47. Makes 37.

Reds +78 + GG

Blues now: Stepladder makes a tenner, they love that shiit here, Tin-plate space gun to go with Jericho's Tin-Plate Presenting skills, it just makes it to a 2 note profit, well done Hugo, Cocktail shaker and siphon, it makes a fiver, they celebrate like a last-minute World Cup winning goal.

Wokesfuhrer BB is the Gltter Ball from earlier (35), 25-35, Hugo has a couple of them at home, Really!!!!????, in 2 places, snigger, 42. 7 notes made.

Blues +24 +GG

8 profits out of 8. Welcome to Hugo@BourneEnd

There can only be ONE, booms Foghorn, wielding the Highlander sword as she beheads Aussie Blue Bloke.

It's not as easy as it looks, shrieks Jericho. Well, it is at Hugo's Bourne End.

Shock. Horror. We don't get the usual Hawley Growler kick. That Mutton Dressed as Lamb is probably too young and tight for her.

 

Wrong way round, Plaidy.

 

Hugo lemon is really BH on cheat mode. Even manages to eke our a 5 quid profit on the cocktail set.

 

Makes you long for the days of black and white TV... or radio..